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QUILLS & QUEUES On being young and black in America Essays in 'How to Slowly Kill Yourself' offer insights into sensitive complexities of racial issues Comment By Angela Decker DailyTidings.com By Angela Decker Posted Dec. 24, 2014 at 12:04 PM Updated Dec 24, 2014 at 12:08 PM By Angela Decker Posted Dec. 24, 2014 at 12:04 PM Updated Dec 24, 2014 at 12:08 PM » RELATED CONTENT • Siskiyou Prize honors environmental scientist's memoirs • Last installment in Ashland vampire trilogy released • Quills & Queues: Art, language and the brain » Social News I recently picked up Kiese Laymon's collection of essays, “How to Slowly Kill Yourself in America,” intending to read it as I relaxed into the evening, snuggled up on the sofa in front of my fireplace. I found that it's not a book to relax with. It's a raw, life-affirming book that makes you sit up straight and pay attention. Laymon's whip-smart, funny, poignant and wildly thought-provoking essays belong on every American's 2015 reading list. Laymon, who grew up in Jackson, Miss., is now a professor at Vassar College. He's also the author of the novel “Long Division.” His essays in "How to Slowly Kill Yourself in America" are personal reflections of his life as a young black man in America. In clear language that's both coarse and eloquent, he unflinchingly examines his own family, racism, violence, American culture, his growth as a writer and coming of age in the Deep South. In the title essay, “How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America,” Laymon tells of five incidents in which he found himself at the end of a gun barrel pointed at him (once by an undercover cop, once by an armed robber, once by his own mother, and twice by his own hand). He timestamps each anecdote by citing cases of young blacks who died violently, including Trayvon Martin, Rekia Boyd, Edward Evans, and Hadiya Pendleton, tying his own experiences to a broader experience of racism and injustice. Neither anti-gun nor anti-white, the essay is a deeply considered opening for conversations about racism and its too-frequent violent outcomes. Laymon starts off, “The Worst of White Folks,” with the story of how he and a friend got in trouble for having a fart contest in church, which leads to a spanking from his mom. With each smack, she reminds him that “white folks don't care if you die,” a lesson that he says all black mothers taught their boys. He reconciles the bitter truth in her warning with his own experiences, differentiating between the faceless “it” of white America and the caring white people he knows personally. In the essay, “Our Kind of Ridiculousness,” Laymon talks about the summer he spent as a grad student in Pennsylvania living below the apartment of a poor white family. When Laymon loans the father $10, the man thanks him and offers what he considers a compliment, telling Laymon, he's not like “his kind,” meaning other blacks. It's a statement every black American has heard, in one form or another, from a well-intentioned white person. Laymon writes, “If white American entitlement meant anything, it meant that no matter how patronizing, unashamed, deliberate, unintentional, poor, rich, rural, urban, ignorant, and destructive white Americans were, black Americans were still encouraged to work for them, write to them, listen to them, talk to them, run from them, emulate them, teach them, dodge them, and ultimately thank them for not being as f***d up as they could be.” Issues of class, race and gender are difficult topics for discussion, but Laymon elegantly opens a door by sharing his stories and inviting readers to consider their own stories. Laymon does not complain and he takes full responsibility for mistakes he has made, but he also does not turn away from some painful truths about being a young black person in America. The essays are rich and deeply layered. Though often painful, his stories circle back to love, self-love, family love, passionate love, and love for all humanity. This is sharp and brilliant writing about being really messed up in an often messed-up world.  Reach Ashland freelance writer Angela Decker at [email protected].   By Angela Decker DailyTidings.com By Angela Decker Posted Dec. 24, 2014 at 12:04 PM Updated Dec 24, 2014 at 12:08 PM » Comment or view comments Reader Reaction » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. Southern Oregon Directory Featured Businesses Loading... 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