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‘Shaky guy in the mirror’ embraces diagnosis, destiny By Richard Hunter for the Mail Tribune Dec 04, 2022 12:15 AM A A When someone receives a diagnosis like Parkinson’s disease, one of the first thoughts that begin to flood the mind is: “Why me?” Welcome to the first stage of grief. The remaining four stages (anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance) eventually will follow. Looking back, from where I am today, over nine years post-diagnosis, I can now smile when looking in the mirror, no longer afraid of that reflection I see. The embarrassment of visible tremors or slouched posture was for me almost unbearable. Waking up, my first morning contemplations overwhelmed me. “Why bother getting out of bed?” It was my wife, Kerry, who snapped me back to reality, to the here and now. Her compassionate concern touched me. My self-confidence batteries slowly recharged. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee would tease me up and out of my warm and comfy bed. I would go into the bathroom to try and prepare for the day. Cautiously, I glanced into that mirror, the one that taunts me. But today I do not see the shake or the slouch. Instead, with a bent smile, I greet the reflection I see and instantly blurt out, “Hi, Dad!” My healing has begun. This was to be the first day of my Stage 5 of grief. Acceptance is a wonderful place to park one’s conscience. The newfound freedom of thought that floods the mind replaces the void that once controlled me. No longer do I succumb to a mind full of emptiness. Now my thoughts are laser focused. I see with a clarity. I walk with purpose. I breathe with intention. Things that once frightened me now enchant me. I embrace who I am and the path that God has placed me on. Don’t get me wrong. I do still see that shaky guy in the mirror, and sometimes I find myself slouched in gait, but that no longer controls me. I am in control; I am the alpha of my destiny. I smile, I laugh and I care. My inner growth is perpetual. Almost a decade beyond that black day of my diagnosis, I now have the privilege of facilitating a Parkinson’s support/care group, sponsored by First Presbyterian of Jacksonville. The group began in my living room. Kerry baked fresh snacks and served coffee or iced tea. It was amazing to see folks arriving with an exhausted demeanor and leaving with a hop and skip to their step. Kerry and I were being blessed, and together we evolved, and to this day we continue to do so. Even though both Kerry and I have a vast medical background, we never thought we would see ourselves teaching and motivating others, especially those who were still stuck in those early stages of grief. They were crying for help, and Kerry and I found ourselves reaching out to them, and they responded in such beautiful ways. We never saw that one coming! Today our group has grown from just a few in our living room to over a dozen, meeting at 2 p.m. the first and third Thursdays of each month at the Pioneer Village Senior Living facility. So does having Parkinson’s mean my life is over? That would be a no! If you have Parkinson’s or are a caregiver, we are here for you. We have big ears for listening and broad shoulders for leaning on — and it’s free. Just come on by. There will always be a chair waiting for you: “where balance flows openly!” Our support/care group is located at Pioneer Village Senior Living in the Media (TV) room, 805 N. Fifth St., Jacksonville. Call 541-702-4521. Richard Hunter lives in Jacksonville.