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0 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation | Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? e-edition | subscribe | newsletter | deals Home News Latest Stories Emergency services Medford man arrested after allegedly fleeing, striking officer with car door Bear cub captured in Ashland pharmacy Eagle Point might get on the bus Central Point police arrest man in alleged September vehicle assault Crime, Courts and Emergency Services Emergency services Medford man arrested after allegedly fleeing, striking officer with car door Central Point police arrest man in alleged September vehicle assault Medford police investigate gunfire report Man who fought police has punctured lung Politics and Elections Eagle Point might get on the bus Richardson accuses Kitzhaber of 'corruption' in final debate Green Party won't back its own candidate Jobs at core of Oregon House race Kitzhaber embattled as he seeks fourth term Education SOU student says free speech issue overblown SOU interim president leads in a different direction Medford school officials consider costs of full-day kindergarten Foundation kicks off ambitious 'Count Me In' fundraising campaign 100 hours and counting Environment Bear cub captured in Ashland pharmacy Work begins on Southern Oregon's first dedicated mountain bike trail Applegate Dam hydroelectric project dead in water Fear of orphaned cubs nixes new spring bear hunt Josephine County ballot measure would ban commercial and government pesticide use State news Nation - World Obituaries Robert Sherman Hathaway Sally Anne Musser Bob Owen Death Notices Marylen Agrell Kocks Weather Photo Galleries Since You Asked Videos Web Cams Mail Tribune 100 Sports Latest Stories Pistorius gets five years in prison Cowboys release Sam from practice squad Top teams in regular season still in Chase hunt Shaw shoulders blame for Stanford's slide Blazers look to build on solid foundation Varsity 541 College Sports Shaw shoulders blame for Stanford's slide As SEC rules rankings, calls of #SECBias rise Oregon inches way back into playoff race UO’s Dargan sets the tone for improving defense Mariota keeps touchdown streak alive Pro Sports Cowboys release Sam from practice squad Top teams in regular season still in Chase hunt Blazers look to build on solid foundation Steelers rally past stunned Texans 30-23 White Sox’s Abreu lands AL rookie honor Community Sports LOCAL EVENTS LOCAL RESULTS Business Latest Stories County OKs partnership to lead business recruitment People's Bank sees 64% net earnings gain New I-5 interchange puts south Medford on fast lane to fast food County's jobless rate unchanged in September SOU interim president leads in a different direction Real Estate News New I-5 interchange puts south Medford on fast lane to fast food Lithia buys Clovis dealership Rental vacancies increase Jackson County real estate sales, prices continue rebound Pallet Wine Co. expands in downtown Medford People In Business People in Business Transportation Frontier Airlines to end Eugene-Denver service Business Resource Fair has answers Erickson's Navy contract extended Lithia buys Clovis dealership Agriculture Hundreds look for work at Harry & David hiring fair Umpqua Holdings more than doubles net earnings Harry & David will hold hiring fair Thursday Ranchers offer livestock exchange 1-800-Flowers CEO: Labor shortage an issue for Harry & David Opinion Latest Merkley-Wehby race leaves us unconvinced Letters to the Editor, Oct. 21 Our View: Falls for sheriff, our picks for state House Granlund cartoon: Keene NH rioting Letters to the Editor, Oct. 20 Editorials Merkley-Wehby race leaves us unconvinced Our View: Falls for sheriff, our picks for state House Our view: Endorsements include Bates, Talbert, Hoppe Reversing course: Hoppe for judge Our view: With respect, our support goes to Bates Letters to the Editor Letters to the Editor, Oct. 21 Letters to the Editor, Oct. 20 Letters to the Editor, Oct. 19 Letters to the Editor, Oct. 18 Letters to the Editor, Oct. 17 Guest Opinions Don't overlook importance of Jackson County commissioners race Measure 92 misleads rather than enlightens Oregonians have a right to know what's in their food Infill is the answer to growth issues Guest Opinion: Who’s really to blame for 2014 wildfires? 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Medford man arrested after allegedly fleeing, striking officer with car door ... Bear cub captured in Ashland pharmacy ... County OKs partnership to lead business recruitment ... Medford man arrested after allegedly fleeing, striking officer with car door ... Bear cub captured in Ashland pharmacy ... It Is What It Is: Shower the people you love with love MailTribune.com Writer Posted Oct. 20, 2014 @ 9:45 am Updated Oct 21, 2014 at 7:09 AM Posted Oct. 20, 2014 @ 9:45 am Updated Oct 21, 2014 at 7:09 AM » Social News By Lisa Sugarman More Content Now I’m going to get straight to the point because, as usual, I have a lot to say. I dislike funerals. I’m sorry, no disrespect, really, but they’re often awkward and depressing, albeit for obvious and unavoidable reasons. See, we’ve got all these rites and ceremonies that always have to be fulfilled as staples of traditional funeral services. And these formalities, especially when there are a lot of them, can make it pretty challenging to showcase the true essence of a person in whatever time is left over. So what I feel like we often see are stilted versions of what could and should be more authentic celebrations of a person’s life and legacy and impact on the world. I think, though, for most people (myself included), funerals are just an all-too-vivid reminder that we’re all simply employees at will and can be terminated, for lack of a better word, whenever The Big Guy decides it’s time to let us go. So that’s why I think the majority of funerals have the same feel. There’s this somberness because (A) no one wants their mortality held up and dangled in their face; (B) we’re forced to recognize that we just lost someone we care about; and (C) we have traditions that have to be satisfied. And that’s heavy stuff, no matter who you are. But what I’ve noticed, as a general rule, is that there are a handful of emotions that are felt by the moral majority. Most people are usually pretty subdued, partly out of respect for honoring the funeral ritual and, I think, partly out of a fear of saying or doing the wrong thing under such delicate circumstances. I mean, naturally there’s this shroud of sadness that settles over people whenever mortality is concerned, and that’s because losing someone we love is just plain sad. But I just can’t help but feel like a person’s life should be truly celebrated after they die. In a way that captures the true spirit of who they were. Now to my real point. Last week, I went to a funeral that did exactly that. And I’d be lying if I said it didn’t alter my thinking on the ultimate potential of the funeral experience. That’s because it was way more of a celebration of someone’s life than a somber sendoff that marks The End. And that I liked. In fact, I loved it. So much so that I found myself crying and belly-laughing in celebration of this woman’s beautiful spirit—a woman, ironically, that I’ve never even met. There’s this saying, “We have a plan but God decides.” And in the case of my friend’s stepmom Pam, that couldn’t have been truer. She was in her fifties, out for a bike ride, and was struck and killed by a truck. Tragic is the only word that really comes to mind—the only word that really seems appropriate. But as tragic and unimaginable as her death was, the way her life was celebrated at her funeral was truly epic. There was more laughter and joy than I think I’ve ever seen at a traditional funeral. And that’s because, from what I gathered about Pam, she was a woman who insisted that feelings be expressed and never assumed. And so as a result, her funeral was part roast, part festival, and part straight-up laughter and applause. The likes of which I’ve never seen. So right there, even though I had never known her, I felt we would’ve been friends if I had. I suppose I was so taken by how spirited and joyous her funeral was because even considering peoples’ overwhelming grief, her friends and family still found a way to truly celebrate the essence of who she was in exactly the way she would’ve wanted. They clapped. They cheered. They laughed. And they happy-cried. The whole experience has really given me a lot to think about in terms of how I’d like my own funeral to be. I know, it’s a little bizarre to think in these terms, but I just want it out there so when the time comes there’s no confusion. First of all, I think I want everyone in fluorescent colors. Something snappy to really perk people up. Next, only happy crying will be allowed. And there will be absolutely no mourning of a loss; only the celebration of a life that was truly and wholly lived. (That’s because when I do go, I plan to be friggin’ exhausted because of how busy I’ve been living.) I’m also thinking about having a chocolate fountain for dipping because chocolate, as you know, has magical properties. Beyond those few details, I think I’ll let the rest ride. I’ve always been a big fan of improv. In the meantime, though, I’m planning on showering the people around me with some extra drippy emotions, so keep a towel handy. It’s gonna get messy. Lisa Sugarman lives in Marblehead, Massachusetts. Read and discuss all her columns at itiswhatitiscolumn.wordpress.com. She is also the author of “LIFE: It Is What It Is,” available on Amazon.com. MailTribune.com Writer Posted Oct. 20, 2014 @ 9:45 am Updated Oct 21, 2014 at 7:09 AM » Comment or view comments Reader Reaction » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. calendar Connect with MailTribune.com Facebook Twitter RSS Back to top Reader Services Reader Services Home Subscriptions Subscriber controls Contact us Submissions Photos Events Letters to the editor Corrections Announcements Obituaries Story ideas Since you asked Alerts Email Alerts RSS Feeds Text Alerts Advertise Media Kit Home Products and services Ad rates Advertising contacts Mail Tribune Daily Tidings The Nickel Shop Our Valley Blogs Stay Informed Email newsletter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. Your privacy is important, read our privacy policy. © Copyright 2014 Local Media Group, Inc. All Rights Reserved. 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