Document text
0 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation | Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? e-edition | subscribe | newsletter | deals Home News Latest Stories Since You Asked: Weigh station schedule is secret Health Care Coalition gets $3.5 million grant (No heading) Butte Falls is source for new line of glass-bottled water Emergency Services Crime, Courts and Emergency Services Emergency Services Emergency Services Man arrested for selling fake crystal 'Just another drunk driver that didn't want to go to jail' Emergency Services Politics and Elections Dotterrer-Bates Senate race goes negative? Election officials fine Richardson for late reporting of rent-free home Phoenix Council race draws a full house Sheriff a no-show at Chamber candidate forum Southern Oregon's Dennis Richardson woos liberal Portland Education Showing their peers how it's done McLoughlin middle-schoolers do their part for Weed An open door Ashland High drops homecoming king and queen Some say anti-bullying program goes too far Environment Wild chinook making early splash in Bear Creek Bringing back the monarchs New disease strikes Roseburg deer herds Dredgers might return to the Rogue next year Dubs' auction preview draws bidders and gawkers State news Nation - World Obituaries Darleen G. Ritchey Valerie Helen Reynolds Lawrence Dale Edwards Billie Joe Hunter Alvin R. Smith Weather Photo Galleries Since You Asked Videos Web Cams Mail Tribune 100 Sports Latest Stories Local water polo teams pick up wins Niners ground Eagles Fraser, Spartans sweep series A’s clinch third straight playoff berth with finale win Zimmermann throws first Nationals no-hitter Varsity 541 College Sports Hail Mary before the half does in the Beavers Beavers' drought in LA continues Dodge rewrites NAIA record book Hogan’s late TD gives Stanford to 20-13 win SOU netters finish off big sweep Pro Sports Niners ground Eagles Fraser, Spartans sweep series A’s clinch third straight playoff berth with finale win Zimmermann throws first Nationals no-hitter Cook leads Champions Tour's First Tee Open Community Sports Barry fires back into SOGC finals Business Latest Stories Butte Falls is source for new line of glass-bottled water Mt. Ashland sets forth plan for season Medford's Pixel Productions moves to new quarters Blog: Fall Into a New Season Tenants begin moving into One West Main Real Estate News Medford's Pixel Productions moves to new quarters Tenants begin moving into One West Main Purchasers praise Harry & David's turnaround Historic building owners get lessons in restoration Pleasant weather, stable interest rates spurred summer home sales People In Business Transportation Agriculture Purchasers praise Harry & David's turnaround 1-800-Flowers.com buying Harry & David for $142.5 million Opinion Latest Our View: Winters continues to be invisible Letters to the Editor, Sept. 29 Catherine Rampell: The bad rep of for-profit colleges The peacemaker goes to war Letters to the Editor, Sept. 28 Editorials Our View: Winters continues to be invisible Letters to the Editor, Sept. 29 Our View: Holder leaves mixed civil rights legacy Other Views: Carbon tax, the Cover Oregon of tax reform Let judges teach, serve: Yes on Measure 87 Letters to the Editor Letters to the Editor, Sept. 28 Election Letters, Sept. 27 Letters to the Editor, Sept. 26 Letters to the Editor, Sept. 25 Letters to the Editor, Sept. 24 Guest Opinions Is Ashland taking over Jackson County elections? Birds sound the alarm on climate change Manor residents give in many ways Transparency is essential in O&C debate Hazardous fuel treatments vital to protection from severe wildfires Lifestyle Latest stories Ashland runners tackle Alps stage race Restaurant Inspections Fall is a good time to plant certain perennials Siri may be descended from Hal Not by a long shot? Food Restaurant Inspections Community blog: Keep salmon succulent by smoking, poaching New festival will celebrate smoked salmon Community blog: Low oven setting yields easy 'sun-dried' tomatoes Wholesale program puts Rogue Valley food in aisles Home and Garden Fall is a good time to plant certain perennials Start now for a bowl of winter sunshine Counting the reasons to keep your eating local Medford gardens to be showcased Saturday Trees aren't always the best companions for plants Health Community blog: Why Texting is Not Talking Community blog: Finding Fun, Not Fear, In Our Senior Years Community blog: Menopause: What's it Good For? Part 2 For the brain, there’s no such thing as over the hill Local health clinics land federal grants to hire medical, dental staff Hiking Biking Faith Religion briefs First Church of Nazarene plans cleanup Religion briefs Religion Briefs Milestones and Achievements Still stifling laughter 40 years after 'Young Frankenstein' New Arrivals Wedding New Arrivals Barbecue will support treatment for stricken skateboarder Columnist for a Day Rogue Healthy Aging Tempo Latest stories Spoons Blues duo releases 'Over the Moon' Music in the Mountains returns to Prospect Randall Theatre presents 'Blithe Spirit' A tribute to a great lyricist Theater Randall Theatre presents 'Blithe Spirit' A tribute to a great lyricist 'Mrs. Mannerly' is a matter of manners There's no accounting for poor manners Friends of Jim Giancarlo remember Ashland theater icon Music Blues duo releases 'Over the Moon' Music in the Mountains returns to Prospect The Brothers Reed Sol Seed plays Lounge South Danielle Kelly: A Rogue Valley Experience Community Events Greater Medford Multicultural Fair Volunteers needed for Downtown Art + Sound Medford's Third Fridays Downtown Art + Sound Festival Oregon Poet Laureate Peter Sears reads in Ashland Dining Spoons 'Get Giddy' at Porters Jacksonville's Thai House is everything good Thai should be Ami Sushi serves up Asian dishes Tempo Videos Classifieds Jobs Autos Real Estate FEATURED » Obituaries Blogs TV Listings Movie Listings Oregon Outdoors Oregon Healthy Living Magazines & Special Sections NEWS NOW Our View: Winters continues to be invisible ... Our View: Holder leaves mixed civil rights legacy ... Man arrested for selling fake crystal ... Our View: Winters continues to be invisible ... Our View: Holder leaves mixed civil rights legacy ... Man arrested for selling fake crystal ... END OF LIFE Dying taught author about living By John Darling for the Mail Tribune MailTribune.com By John Darling for the Mail Tribune Posted Sep. 1, 2014 @ 12:01 am By John Darling for the Mail Tribune Posted Sep. 1, 2014 @ 12:01 am » Social News Those final days of life should be a time of review, gratitude and opening up to appreciation of all the great stuff you’ve done, but if you spend it regretting the bad things or wondering why you’re taking so long to die, you are in for a lot more pain. That’s the gist of “What the Dying Have Taught Me About Living: The Awful Amazing Grace of God,” by Fred Grewe. In the past 10 years as chaplain with Providence Hospice, and before that with Ashland Community Hospital, Grewe has helped more than 1,000 people through the dying experience, and he notes that it’s taught him to do what most of them did — to “milk the most out of life.” For Grewe, this means now, not at death’s doorstep. “What I learned from them was to cultivate gratitude, surrender to reality (of death) and to shower the people I love with love,” says Grewe, who is working on his doctorate in end-of-life care at Pacific School of Religion in Berkeley. Surrendering to reality is realizing that death is natural and we’re all going to do it, said Grewe, joking — as he often does in his books — that “life is a sexually transmitted disease that always ends terminally.” Grewe’s colorful career took him through a bachelor’s degree in acting and directing, then 30 years as a Pentecostal minister, then ordination as a Congregational minister who is married to a Buddhist. “If there’s wisdom anywhere, I need all the help I can get,” says Grewe, 61. “When you sit with dying folks, a lot of nonsense gets kicked out of them by the diagnosis, the pain — so you really get to talk about what’s important.” People who experience an easy passing, he notes, are those with the ability for gratitude. “They say, hey, I had a decent life. I did the best I could. Also those who surrender to what’s happening. They have a lot less pain and need less drugs.” The ones who suffer, he adds, are the ones who say life wasn’t fair — or they have great “existential pain” and loss of meaning springing from lingering in a painful death with the family having to take care of them. “For me, what I learned is, why wait till the end? Surrender now to what can’t be changed,” he says. “It’s brought me a lot more peace and compassion to live life this way. I shower the people I love with love.” Never once in his hospice work has he met a person who said they wish they’d spent more time at work or watching more football. “It’s always, ‘I wish I’d spent more time with the people I love and telling them I love them.’ Well, I want to do that now.” Grewe’s book is published by Pilgrim Press, which he says is the oldest book publisher in the nation. It costs $14.40 in paperback on Amazon or $12.99 on Kindle. He got hooked on hospice work by helping his mother die of cancer at 44, then a close friend died of AIDS. He calls these the two most significant events of his life. “I’ve seen firsthand that no one escapes this world without experiencing pain, suffering and death,” says Grewe, in his blurb on Amazon. “It was a rather startling setback for me when this truth torpedoed my well-constructed life a few years ago. I had spent most of my faith-filled Christian years trying to do everything in my power to avoid pain and suffering. I’d been taught that if I prayed enough, read the Bible enough, lived a clean life, and volunteered to work in the church nursery once in a while, God would protect me from all pain and suffering. The thought that suffering could be good for me in any way wasn’t even on my radar screen. But that was before I began to learn what the dying could teach me about living.” As for the afterlife, Grewe won’t touch that topic, or even think about it. “I consider myself a devout Christian and I have strong opinions about what happens next, but no one knows for sure. I trust that whatever happens next is really good and I base that on how good and kind and gracious and loving God has been to a rascal like me.” John Darling is a freelance writer living in Ashland. Email him at [email protected]. By John Darling for the Mail Tribune MailTribune.com By John Darling for the Mail Tribune Posted Sep. 1, 2014 @ 12:01 am » Comment or view comments Reader Reaction » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. calendar Connect with MailTribune.com Facebook Twitter RSS Back to top Reader Services Reader Services Home Subscriptions Subscriber controls Contact us Submissions Photos Events Letters to the editor Corrections Announcements Obituaries Story ideas Since you asked Alerts Email Alerts RSS Feeds Text Alerts Advertise Media Kit Home Products and services Ad rates Advertising contacts Mail Tribune Daily Tidings The Nickel Shop Our Valley Blogs Stay Informed Email newsletter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. Your privacy is important, read our privacy policy. © Copyright 2014 Local Media Group, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Local Media Group Publications Original content available for non-commercial use under a Creative Commons license, except where noted. MailTribune.com | P.O. Box 1108, Medford, OR 97501