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0 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation | Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? e-edition | subscribe | newsletter | deals Home News Latest Stories Iron Mike loses his rifle ... again Commissioner's race: Ankerberg touts financial expertise Commissioner's race: Moro lauds energy efficiency jobs Commissioner's race: Dyer wants to attract high-tech jobs Applegate Dam hydroelectric project dead in water Crime, Courts and Emergency Services Iron Mike loses his rifle ... again Emergency services Ashland's Iron Mike statue has its gun stolen Hoppe and Peterson at it again in Jackson County judge's race Motorcycle crash southwest of Grants Pass kills one Politics and Elections Commissioner's race: Ankerberg touts financial expertise Commissioner's race: Moro lauds energy efficiency jobs Commissioner's race: Dyer wants to attract high-tech jobs Hoppe and Peterson at it again in Jackson County judge's race Oregon gubernatorial candidates debate in Medford Education Foundation kicks off ambitious 'Count Me In' fundraising campaign 100 hours and counting SOU students protest university's free-speech zone Boys & Girls Clubs bursting at the seams Phoenix High School restores homecoming parade Environment Applegate Dam hydroelectric project dead in water Fear of orphaned cubs nixes new spring bear hunt Josephine County ballot measure would ban commercial and government pesticide use Low water exposes Emigrant Lake's past Wagner Creek work would restore streambank State news Nation - World Obituaries Alvin Simmons Death Notices James Waldo Littlefield Francis Bagley Cecile (DeLozier) Weather Photo Galleries Since You Asked Videos Web Cams Mail Tribune 100 Sports Latest Stories Panthers rumble past Axemen Springfield trips Ashland in battle of powers Frosh Schaan ignites Cascade Christian Junior Steelheads down Spartans Ashland defeats Marist in OT in boys soccer Varsity 541 College Sports Raiders record sixth straight win Will Petersen have same magic against Ducks? Division races heating up in the Pac-12 No. 20 Utah sinks Beavers in two OTs Third-ranked Concordia fights off SOU, 3-1 Pro Sports Big finish gives Putnam piece of lead Seahawks trade Harvin to Jets It'll be seasoned Giants versus fresh Royals Ishikawa's homer sends Giants to World Series Patriots survive scare from Jets, 27-25 Community Sports LOCAL EVENTS LOCAL RESULTS Business Latest Stories Rogue Credit Union awaits southeast Medford opportunity People in Business Blog: Early Holiday Shopping Hundreds look for work at Harry & David hiring fair Frontier Airlines to end Eugene-Denver service Real Estate News Lithia buys Clovis dealership Rental vacancies increase Jackson County real estate sales, prices continue rebound Pallet Wine Co. expands in downtown Medford Medford's Pixel Productions moves to new quarters People In Business People in Business Transportation Frontier Airlines to end Eugene-Denver service Business Resource Fair has answers Erickson's Navy contract extended Lithia buys Clovis dealership Agriculture Hundreds look for work at Harry & David hiring fair Umpqua Holdings more than doubles net earnings Harry & David will hold hiring fair Thursday Ranchers offer livestock exchange 1-800-Flowers CEO: Labor shortage an issue for Harry & David Opinion Latest Reversing course: Hoppe for judge Letters to the editor Letters to the Editor, Oct. 17 Our view: With respect, our support goes to Bates Isolation won't work for U.S. or the world Editorials Reversing course: Hoppe for judge Our view: With respect, our support goes to Bates Our View: Bearnson, Stine, Lane for Medford council Our View: No clear favorite for county commissioner, position 1 Our View: It's time to legalize marijuana Letters to the Editor Letters to the editor Letters to the Editor, Oct. 17 Letters to the Editor, Oct. 16 Letters to the Editor, Oct. 15 Election Letters, Oct. 14 Guest Opinions Infill is the answer to growth issues Guest Opinion: Who’s really to blame for 2014 wildfires? Mt. Ashland is responding to community concerns Siskiyou Plus Spring Bear Hunt: What lies beneath? Guest Opinion: Who's to blame for 2014 wildfires? Lifestyle Latest stories Community blog: My New Best Selling Book Scenic with a capital 'S' New trails could garner scenic designation Community blog: Southern Oregon Micro and Nano Brewing Scene Fall 2014 Dr. Jeff Hersh: The enterovirus is not new Food Community blog: Southern Oregon Micro and Nano Brewing Scene Fall 2014 Community blog: Eggs make for economical, unconventional curry Mobile meals perfect for autumn forays Community blog: Green beans go global from gleaning garden Kitchen Call: Pumpkin is nothing without the spice Home and Garden Dear Monty: Is your real estate agent a secret agent? The best way to store your books A list to help you get ready for winter How to create a fashionable painted floor cloth Dear Monty: 7 prepping tips for home showings Health Community blog: My New Best Selling Book Dr. Jeff Hersh: The enterovirus is not new Dr. Murray Feingold: The first successful uterus transplant Health Watch: Skip the energy drink and reenergize naturally Officials warn of frauds touting fake Ebola cures Hiking Biking Faith Religion Briefs Religion Briefs Religion Briefs Religion briefs First Church of Nazarene plans cleanup Milestones and Achievements Southern Oregon Pride parade celebrates gay marriage ruling New Arrivals Still stifling laughter 40 years after 'Young Frankenstein' New Arrivals Columnist for a Day Rogue Healthy Aging Tempo Latest stories Yu's Yummy Yan's offers great take-out A cappella fellas sing for schools Theater's haunted house not for faint of heart Tutunov Piano Series begins at SOU Third Fridays in downtown Medford Theater Camelot presents 'The Lion in Winter' 'Carnage' is short, smart, darkly funny Randall Theatre presents 'Blithe Spirit' A tribute to a great lyricist 'Mrs. Mannerly' is a matter of manners Music A cappella fellas sing for schools The Farr Side: Bryan Adams releases album of influential hits Tutunov Piano Series begins at SOU Benefit for Nita Day at The Wild Goose Cafe in Ashland Call for musicians Community Events Theater's haunted house not for faint of heart Third Fridays in downtown Medford Works in progress Southern Oregon Pride Festival celebrates diversity Greater Medford Multicultural Fair Dining Yu's Yummy Yan's offers great take-out Agave offers tasty tacos Asian cuisine for all seasons at Misoya Bistro Spoons 'Get Giddy' at Porters Tempo Videos Classifieds Jobs Autos Real Estate FEATURED » Obituaries Blogs TV Listings Movie Listings Oregon Outdoors Oregon Healthy Living Magazines & Special Sections NEWS NOW Ashland's Iron Mike statue has its gun stolen ... Oregon gubernatorial candidates debate in Medford ... Elk season starts damp but not snowy ... Ashland's Iron Mike statue has its gun stolen ... Oregon gubernatorial candidates debate in Medford ... Elk season starts damp but not snowy ... Jeff Vrabel: Paper vs. plastic By Jeff Vrabel More Content Now MailTribune.com By Jeff Vrabel More Content Now Posted Oct. 6, 2014 @ 7:38 am By Jeff Vrabel More Content Now Posted Oct. 6, 2014 @ 7:38 am » Social News I went with paper bags at the grocery store the other day. It was an impulse, a last-minute decision, a what-the-heck sort of thing, and one powered mostly by latent guilt: my green aspirations generally outweigh my green activity by an embarrassing margin. Last week I was suitably mocked by a buddy for throwing a plastic bottle into a trash can that was DIRECTLY NEXT to a recycling bin, which was silly, but in my defense, the nuclear runoff in my drinking water has rendered me largely blind. My point is, I did it less because of an overarching green stand and more because it seemed like a nice thing to do and because, yes, I got to feel extremely pleased with myself for doing so. So when the cashier asked if plastic was OK, I replied, “Actually, can we do paper?” and she looked me as if I just announced my intention to produce an adult chicken out of my mouth. Forgive my redundancy, but it’s hard to overstate the look I got at this point. The cashier and the bagger looked at me like I just divulged the code word, like I said something about Darth Vader in front of their football friends, like I wiped my mouth with the Sacred Parchment and all as if to say: Um, you know we only ask that as a formality, right? As such, the remainder of our transaction unfolded with an aggressive awkwardness that you might expect if you were testifying in front of Congress, or through some random twist of fortune, ended up driving the prom queen home. I am not kidding when I report that these two people did not so much as make eye contact with me for the subsequent four minutes, which was the length of time it took them to bag my stuff because they were TOTALLY DAWDLING. Nobody talked. Needless to say, there’s not a lot you can do to remain an icy cool exterior in the face of such discomfort, although I’m happy to report I know more now about Angelina Jolie’s purported anorexia than I did before, and I’m frankly a little worried about her. But also, during this time, I became something of an aggressive environmentalist with a sudden and all-encompassing desire to organize a march, boycott something and start a Facebook group. It’s not much like I asked these people to spend their afternoon scrubbing oil off abandoned dolphin embryos; I asked them mostly to not place each of my groceries in an individual bag. Has anyone else noticed how grocery stores — well, stores in general — bend over backward to send you home with as many bags as they possibly can? I bought my son a shirt at a Large Retailer last week, and they put it in a bag with which I could have conceivably vacationed in Europe for about three months, so that the shirt didn’t, I don’t know, spontaneously burst into flame during the long and treacherous walk through the parking lot, or so that it wasn’t attacked and consumed by a wild boar. This is true — at the grocery store the cashier asked me (sneeringly, I suspect) if it was OK to put my gallon of milk in a plastic bag, and I replied, “That’s OK, I’ll just take it,” and she LOOKED RIGHT AT ME AND PUT MY MILK IN A PLASTIC BAG, which I took without a word, because when it comes right down to it I’m a sissy. All of this means two things: that I spend entirely too much time ruminating on my trips to the grocery store, but also that American business appears to harbor an irrational reliance on the Plastic Bag, as though the entire thing is funded by a giant silent lobby. In fact, I think while everyone’s been all worried about the pharmaceutical and oil industries, I’m worried about Big Sack. Stop laughing. This is serious. Jeff Vrabel is not proud of that last joke. He can be reached at http://jeffvrabel.com and followed at http://twitter.com/jeffvrabel. By Jeff Vrabel More Content Now MailTribune.com By Jeff Vrabel More Content Now Posted Oct. 6, 2014 @ 7:38 am » Comment or view comments Reader Reaction » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. calendar Connect with MailTribune.com Facebook Twitter RSS Back to top Reader Services Reader Services Home Subscriptions Subscriber controls Contact us Submissions Photos Events Letters to the editor Corrections Announcements Obituaries Story ideas Since you asked Alerts Email Alerts RSS Feeds Text Alerts Advertise Media Kit Home Products and services Ad rates Advertising contacts Mail Tribune Daily Tidings The Nickel Shop Our Valley Blogs Stay Informed Email newsletter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. Your privacy is important, read our privacy policy. © Copyright 2014 Local Media Group, Inc. 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