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0 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation | Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? e-edition | subscribe | newsletter | deals Home News Latest Stories Applegate man charged with sexually abusing girl over 18-month period Police looking for homeless man who attacked two others with a crowbar Friends of the Animal Shelter volunteer orientation set It's Free Day at ScienceWorks 10 things to know for Wednesday Crime, Courts and Emergency Services Applegate man charged with sexually abusing girl over 18-month period Police looking for homeless man who attacked two others with a crowbar Emergency services Two missing Ashland teens planned to run away, police say Emergency Services Politics and Elections GMO labeling votes recounted under careful watch in Jackson County Kent Bush: First Amendment doesn’t mean what you think it means East Medford's the charm Pot, GMOs unite south Jackson County Buckley again named Ways and Means Committee co-chairman Education Students put their hearts into AIDS event Kitzhaber calls for early education spending in budget proposal Medford leans toward three-quarter-day kindergarten Building audits will help district save energy, and money Homelessness is growing problem for Medford students Environment Most dredging banned under new proposed guidelines Hawks use I-5 as hunting ground Curbing urban runoff in Gold Hill Mt. View Estates' fill, riprap work lacked county permit Birders sought for bird counts State News University of Oregon teaching assistants strike Fishermen say Newport helo base may have saved their lives Kitzhaber calls for early education spending in budget proposal Eugene considers train 'quiet zones' Jesse Jackson calls for peace at Portland rally Nation - World Grand jury won't indict Ferguson cop in shooting Obituaries Claudia Kay Tyson Sharon Raye Lesley William (Bill) Carl Caldwell John Charles Pinkham Death Notices Weather Photo Galleries Since You Asked Videos Web Cams Mail Tribune 100 Sports Latest Stories Third-ranked Arizona pulls away for rout Durant back, but Thunder falls Aldridge's helping hand propels Blazers San Jose State tops SOU in exhibition Michigan fires Hoke after four years Varsity 541 College Sports Third-ranked Arizona pulls away for rout San Jose State tops SOU in exhibition Michigan fires Hoke after four years Winston's conduct hearing to resume today UAB announces it's shutting down program Pro Sports Durant back, but Thunder falls Aldridge's helping hand propels Blazers Woods returns with an eye to the past Sans stars, Spurs deal Sixers yet another loss Dolphins overtake run-happy Jets Community Sports Keeping Fit: Runners need to do more than run to stay in shape RESULTS/STANDINGS LOCAL EVENTS Business Latest Stories People in Business, Dec. 3 Blog: Mobile shopping continues to make inroads Blog: Thoughts from an analyst who is bullish on Lithia Investors' focus shifts to local, small ventures Ride & Drive: Ford Transit Real Estate News Dear Monty: Violation of HOA rules creates conflict Farmers file suit over GMO crop ban Financial webinars offered for veterans and their families Home prices rise across Jackson County People In Business People in Business, Dec. 3 People in Business, Nov. 18 People in Business, Nov. 8 Transportation Allegiant Air will resume Medford-Phoenix service May 22 Medford airport passenger counts sky high in October Erickson reports third quarter profit Agriculture Southern Oregon wine industry had a robust 2013 Farmers file suit over GMO crop ban Lawsuit seeks to overturn Jackson County's GMO ban or net $4.2 million for farms Latest count shows Measure 92 supporters narrowing deficit Opinion Latest Matthew Mangino: U.S. Supreme Court takes on Facebook threats Granlund cartoon: Productivity and pay Jim Brock: Protesters have power Michelle Teheux: Lack of diversity leads to myopia Our View: Stay flexible on kindergarten hours Editorials Our View: Stay flexible on kindergarten hours Our View: Waiting for someone else to step up Our View: What's in a name? 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Guest Opinion: Fight for the rights of independent voters will continue Guest Opinion: 'Natural' not necessarily better for forest management Guest Opinion: County voters rebuffed judicial appointment process Fix health care reform, don't scrap it Lifestyle Latest stories Community blog: Guiltless Holidays Better for our Health Troubleshoot common water boiler problems 5 Things to Do This Weekend (Dec. 5-7) Lost in Suburbia: Out of the cast iron pan and into the fire Dear Monty: Ten helpful home-listing tips Food 'Amazing' Soup Roxy Ann winemaker has roots in Napa Valley Community blog: Post-holiday soups easy on the budget, waistline Food for Thought: Sugar cookies offer holiday nostalgia Kitchen Call: A change from turkey leftovers Home and Garden Troubleshoot common water boiler problems Dear Monty: Ten helpful home-listing tips Home Help: Luxurious upgrades don’t have to break the bank 9 ways to green your gift wrap Dear Monty: How to find a good real estate attorney Health Community blog: Guiltless Holidays Better for our Health HealthStyle: Develop an attitude of gratitude Health Watch: Fuel up on carbs before workouts Health insurance enrollment help available Community blog: Appreciating Clouds: Year-Round Gratitude Hiking Biking Faith Religion news: Pope aims to expedite sex abuse rulings Religion news: Seattle-based mega-church dissolves Religion Briefs 'Walk the talk' Religion briefs Milestones and Achievements Madi-Stiles A New Song Rogers-Horn New Arrivals ACCESS receives $50,000 donation from Wells Fargo Columnist for a Day Rogue Healthy Aging Tempo Latest stories SOU presents all-percussion concert Ashland's First Friday Art Walk showcases new exhiits by regional artists Soroptimist holiday home tour features four houses this weekend Brunch at Loft Brasserie 2014 Providence Festival of Trees Theater Camelot presents 'Fiddler on the Roof' OCT's holiday show is a wonderful play New 'Alice' has some for kids ... and adults 'It's a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play' opens at Oregon Cabaret Theatre 'Red Noses' a romp through slapstick and pathos Music SOU presents all-percussion concert Shae Johnson releases 'Can You Feel the Music' Jeff Kloetzel releases 'Long Time Coming' A new guitar slinger in town Peter Chianca: Top 40 songs even a dad could love Community Events Ashland's First Friday Art Walk showcases new exhiits by regional artists Soroptimist holiday home tour features four houses this weekend 2014 Providence Festival of Trees A grand illumination at the Commons Lighting up memories Dining Brunch at Loft Brasserie The Bohemian Club Thanksgiving comes early at Taprock Word of Mouth: Brunch at Brothers' Restaurant Tempo Videos Classifieds Jobs Autos Real Estate FEATURED » Obituaries Blogs TV Listings Movie Listings Oregon Outdoors Oregon Healthy Living Magazines & Special Sections NEWS NOW Police looking for homeless man who attacked two others with a crowbar ... Longtime Ashland New Plays Festival artistic director is retiring ... Most dredging banned under new proposed guidelines ... Police looking for homeless man who attacked two others with a crowbar ... Longtime Ashland New Plays Festival artistic director is retiring ... Most dredging banned under new proposed guidelines ... Frank Mulligan: They say fame is fleeting By Frank Mulligan Wicked Local MailTribune.com By Frank Mulligan Wicked Local Posted Nov. 21, 2014 @ 2:42 pm By Frank Mulligan Wicked Local Posted Nov. 21, 2014 @ 2:42 pm » Social News They say history is cyclical. They also say, “what goes around comes around.” “They” sure do say a lot of stuff. But would “they” believe the following conversation could ever take place where the forces of history reintroduce the Roman triumphal manner of maintaining humility to the most famed of today’s individuals? And would it work with our very most important VIP, Kim Kardashian? (The scene: A vast room approximately the size of an airplane hangar where Kim Kardashian sits before an immense vanity, surrounded on all walled sides by images of herself in various tableaux. There’s a knock, and a man enters. He crosses the room to talk to Kim. After the 15 minutes it takes for him to reach her, they have the following conversation.) Man: Um, Miss Kardashian? KK: Yes? Man: Hi, I’m your new Roman triumph guy. KK: My what? Man: Your new Roman triumph guy. Your manager thought it would be a good idea to hire me. KK: I have a manager? Man: Oh, yeah. Who could expect you to make such shrewd career moves without some form of expert counsel. KK: Right. I think he’s the guy with the glasses. Man: Yeah, that’s him. KK: What does a Roman triumph guy do? Something to do with fashion? Man: Well, no. A Roman triumph guy used to ride behind a Roman general who had been awarded a triumph by the state for some great feat of arms that had brought him tremendous fame. KK: Yeah, right. So then what? Man: His job was to whisper into the general’s ear while he drove through Rome surrounded by thousands and thousands of worshipful people, his enemies marching in chains before him, along with wild animals and all sorts of goods from the country or countries he had conquered, not to mention all the treasure he had brought back. KK: Thousands? I’ve got one tape alone that’s been seen by millions and millions. That brought back a whole lot of treasure, let me tell you. So what’s this guy whisper? Man: He whispers, “Look behind you, thou art mortal.” KK: That’s all? It sounds creepy. Why does he say something like that? Man: It’s supposed to remind the person being triumphed not to get too carried away with all the fame. That they’re mortal just like everybody else and will one day die. KK: Yuck. That is creepy. What would you need to do to get a triumph again? Man: Pompey the Great celebrated one of his three triumphs for his conquest of 15 other nations. It took two days. KK: Oh yeah? Well, I recently posed in a photo showing off my posterior that’s been seen by millions of people. Man: That’s good, too. KK: I’ll tell you what, you can walk behind me and whisper in my ear. That’ll get people wondering who you are and what’s going on in my life. That could work. But we’ve got to come up with a better message. Man: Like what? KK: How about, “Look behind you, thou art hot.” Man: All right. But I don’t think I can translate that into Latin. KK: That’s all right. Latin was so last year. And how does “Kim the Great” sound? Man: Look behind you, thou art hot. KK: I think it sounds good, too. Wareham Courier editor Frank Mulligan can be reached at [email protected]. By Frank Mulligan Wicked Local MailTribune.com By Frank Mulligan Wicked Local Posted Nov. 21, 2014 @ 2:42 pm » Comment or view comments Reader Reaction » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. calendar Connect with MailTribune.com Facebook Twitter RSS Back to top Reader Services Reader Services Home Subscriptions Subscriber controls Contact us Submissions Photos Events Letters to the editor Corrections Announcements Obituaries Story ideas Since you asked Alerts Email Alerts RSS Feeds Text Alerts Advertise Media Kit Home Products and services Ad rates Advertising contacts Mail Tribune Daily Tidings The Nickel Shop Our Valley Blogs Stay Informed Email newsletter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. Your privacy is important, read our privacy policy. © Copyright 2014 Local Media Group, Inc. 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