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0 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation | Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? e-edition | subscribe | newsletter | deals Home News Latest Stories Weeders turn out to head off pesticide use Gov. Kitzhaber steps down, federal investigation begins Successor Kate Brown must run for election in 2016 Emergency services, Feb. 14 Community leaders saddened by governor's departure Crime, Courts and Emergency Services Emergency services, Feb. 14 Police arrest robbery suspects who wore underwear as masks Purple Parrot robber sentenced Busy burglar still at large in Medford Sheriff's lieutenant may face misconduct charges over ticket dismissals Politics and Elections Gov. Kitzhaber steps down, federal investigation begins Gov. Kitzhaber announces resignation Successor Kate Brown must run for election in 2016 Community leaders saddened by governor's departure Read Gov. 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Infante: Just in time for Valentine’s Day, some favorite breakup songs Ayron Jones and The Way play Rocky-Tonk Brett Dennen plays the old Ashland Armory Community Events Southern Oregon Rod and Custom Show Ashland's First Friday Art Walk showcases new exhibits by regional artists Jacksonville celebrates Chinese New Year Comedian Susan Westenhoefer pulls no punches Paula Poundstone performs at the Craterian Dining The zwickels shall flow Soo Rah Korean Cuisine Stylish shareables are the feature at Brickroom Sandwiches and burgers are hits at The Rogue Chef The Vine offers a taste of Italy Tempo Videos Classifieds Jobs Autos Real Estate FEATURED » Obituaries Blogs TV Listings Movie Listings Oregon Outdoors Oregon Healthy Living Magazines & Special Sections NEWS NOW Weeders turn out to head off pesticide use ... Get Up & Go: Saturday, Feb. 14 ... Gov. Kitzhaber steps down, federal investigation begins ... Weeders turn out to head off pesticide use ... Get Up & Go: Saturday, Feb. 14 ... Gov. Kitzhaber steps down, federal investigation begins ... Victor D. Infante: Just in time for Valentine's Day, some favorite breakup songs Comment By Victor D. Infante The Worcester Telegram & Gazette MailTribune.com By Victor D. Infante The Worcester Telegram & Gazette Posted Feb. 12, 2015 @ 1:10 pm By Victor D. Infante The Worcester Telegram & Gazette Posted Feb. 12, 2015 @ 1:10 pm GHNS » Social News Ah, Valentine’s Day. A time for love and romance, for doing something special with that person you love. It’s a magical time. Unless, of course, you’ve just been through a bad breakup, in which time it is an absolute nightmare. And while everyone is listening to sappy love songs and staring googly-eyed at each other, you’re either wallowing in music that’s either sad and depressing or righteously angry — and statistically speaking, that song is likely by Taylor Swift. Breakup songs, as it happens, is a subject that people evidently have strong feelings about: An inquiry on Facebook and Twitter for favorites brought more than 200 recommendations, featuring everything from the Beatles to GWAR. But not all breakup songs are the same, and while reviewing our avalanche of heartbreak, we realized we could divide them into five categories, based on psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ stages of death and dying. What follows is breakdown of some classic breakup songs, some personal favorites, and the best examples by Swift we could come up with. We’re fully aware this might either save or ruin someone’s Valentine’s Day. You’re welcome? Denial These are the songs where the breakup is imminent, although either one or both partners may be consciously unaware of that fact. It tends to linger on the divide between the couple, and finds its power in regret and impending dread. Classic: “Break It to Me Gently,” by Juice Newton. Newton delivers the oncoming breakup here with pitch-perfect sadness and desperation: “Break it, break it to me gently. / Give me time, oh give me a little time to ease the pain.” Personal favorite: “Waiting Under the Waves,” by Kris Delmhorst. This Western Massachusetts-based singer-songwriter paints a picture of a relationship ending amid a blur of passion and emotion, even as her voice is low and enveloping. “I’m feeling that undertow, like maybe it’s time to go/ it’s getting so sick and thin, getting right under my skin / and in this song that we sing, who could ever point to one thing? / You are still in hiding baby, I am still on fire.” Taylor Swift: In “Last Kiss,” Swift paints a portrait of a relationship ending which takes the song’s persona completely by surprise: “I don’t know how to be something you miss / Never thought we’d have a last kiss / Never imagined we’d end like this.” It’s a simple, melancholy song, but it does its job well. Anger This one is everybody’s favorite: The song that you play really loud to work out your aggressions, the song you break things to so you don’t break, as Fiona Apple put it, “him, or her or me.” Classic: “You Oughta Know,” by Alanis Morissette. If there’s a line more bitter than “Does she know how you told me you’d hold me / Until you died, til you died / But you’re still alive,” we’re unaware of it. Personal favorite: “One More Minute,” by “Weird Al” Yankovic. One of Yankovic’s original compositions, it’s both hilarious and cathartic: “Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase/You ain’t gonna break my heart in two/’Cause I’d rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face/Than spend one more minute with you.” Oh, yeah. We’ve all been there. Taylor Swift: One of the great things about Swift’s breakup songs is that they all sort of cross lines, but the anger in “I Knew You Were Trouble” is a sort of musical laser death ray. For sheer bite, though, the nod might best go to “Dear John,” her condemnatory ode to ex-boyfriend, John Mayer. Bargaining This is the “please don’t leave me” song. It’s the one that turns you into John Cusack in “Say anything,” holding the boom box over your head. Classic: “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg,” by Temptations. Did anyone ever say it better? “If I have to cry to keep you / I don’t mind weeping.” Don’t let the upbeat Motown groove fool you: This song is devastating. Personal favorite: “Stay,” by Oingo Boingo: Danny Elfman’s theatrical baritone intoning someone to “stay with me one more day” is desperate and heartbreaking, with a tinge of darkness. Taylor Swift: Part of bargaining is a (hopefully short-lived) willingness to accept a partner’s negatives, such as on “The Way I Loved You,” where she sings: “I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain / And it’s 2 a.m. and I’m cursing your name.” Depression Here’s where the self-pity and moping comes in. Strangely, though, these aren’t always the saddest of songs. Some of the best ones are about covering up just how bad one’s hurting. Classic: “The Tracks of My Tears,” Smokey Robinson & the Miracles. “So take a good look at my face / you’ll see my smile looks out of place.” It’s a deceptively upbeat song about being very much not OK. Personal favorite: “Nothing Compares 2 U,” by Sinead O’Connor. More on the overt side, the Irish singer-songwriter paints a brutal and unflinching portrait of wasting away from depression, how it causes immobility and even affects one’s health. That it’s a gorgeous song just makes it hurt more. Taylor Swift: “The Story of Us,” riddled with regret as it is, is a perfect song for moping. Not judging: We all need that once in a while. Acceptance Moving on is not always easy, and sometimes it doesn’t make the pain go away. But these are the songs about hope and letting go. Classic: “Go Your Own Way,” by Fleetwood Mac. “Rumours” may well be the world’s greatest breakup album, but “Go Your Own Way” paints a picture of entwined acceptance and bitterness that’s an emotional wrecking ball. The line “you can call it another lonely day” is practically a door slamming. Personal favorite: “Most of the Time,” by Bob Dylan. One of the most wistful and beautiful songs in the master’s songbook, this one’s about how that sort of loss sometimes returns unbidden in tiny pin pricks. Taylor Swift: “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.” Like there could be anything else. To listen to the Spotify playlist “Love Will Tear Us Apart Again,” featuring more than nine hours of favorite breakup songs crowd-sourced from social media, visit this link: bit.ly/1MgRS6m. Victor D. Infante writes for the Worcester Telegram & Gazette in Massachusetts. Email him at [email protected] and follow him on Twitter @ocvictor. By Victor D. Infante The Worcester Telegram & Gazette MailTribune.com By Victor D. Infante The Worcester Telegram & Gazette Posted Feb. 12, 2015 @ 1:10 pm » Comment or view comments Reader Reaction » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. calendar Connect with MailTribune.com Facebook Twitter RSS Back to top Reader Services Reader Services Home Subscriptions Subscriber controls Contact us Submissions Photos Events Letters to the editor Corrections Announcements Obituaries Story ideas Since you asked Alerts Email Alerts RSS Feeds Text Alerts Advertise Media Kit Home Products and services Ad rates Advertising contacts Mail Tribune Daily Tidings The Nickel Shop Our Valley Blogs Stay Informed Email newsletter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. 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