Document text
0 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation | Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? e-edition | subscribe | newsletter | deals Classifieds Jobs Autos Real Estate FEATURED » NEWS NOW Our View: So far, so good at local VA clinics ... 5 wildfires to watch ... Perseid meteor shower this week will coincide with new moon ... Our View: So far, so good at local VA clinics ... 5 wildfires to watch ... Perseid meteor shower this week will coincide with new moon ... Lost In Suburbia: Worming my way out of a nasty situation Comment By Tracy Beckerman More Content Now MailTribune.com By Tracy Beckerman More Content Now Posted Apr. 15, 2015 at 12:01 AM By Tracy Beckerman More Content Now Posted Apr. 15, 2015 at 12:01 AM » Social News I used to think that April showers brought May flowers. Know I know that April showers also bring something else: worms. Worms in the driveway. Worms on the front walk. Worms on the car (how the heck do they get up there?) Big, gnarly, thick, slimy earthworms. When it rains, there is an obstacle course of fat, wriggly worms down my driveway. When the sun comes out, the unlucky ones that don’t make it back to the lawn, dry up, and then there is an obstacle course of dried-up worms down my driveway. Unfortunately, I park my car in the driveway, which means I have to try to jump between the worms to get to my car. To the uneducated eye, I look like I’m walking across hot coals, or trying out for “So You Think You Can Dance.” Of course, I never get to the car without squishing at least one; a sensation only less disgusting than stepping in dog poo. Speaking of which … Monty, our dog, does try to help. He eats them. Not surprising from an animal that eats rocks, I suppose. However, rocks don’t wriggle, and watching a dog eat worms is only slightly less nauseating than stepping on worms, so I tend to discourage this behavior. You’d think as a woman who grew up in the ‘burbs and went to sleepaway camp for 10 years, I’d be used to this kind of thing. But I’ve been wormaphobic for as long as I can remember. When I grew up and moved into the city, I was thrilled to realize I would probably be worm free. Hey, no dirt … no worms. But there I was in the concrete jungle, and when the first heavy rains fell, there they were … wriggling and sliding all over the sidewalk. The pigeons were happy. I was not. Since I knew that worms are part of the deal when you live in the ‘burbs, when we moved I tried to be understanding of this whole Spring Worm Thing. But as the years passed and the worms seemed to increase in numbers every year, I grew less understanding and more, “Go ahead worms, make my day.” (Yes, I threaten my worms. Call PETA on me.) Then one day last week, after another deluge and another worm fest in the driveway, I decided I couldn’t stand one more minute of it. I took out the hose, turned it on jet, and blasted all the worms out of the driveway and into the sewer. However, in my worm-blasting frenzy, I must have saturated the lawn, because a couple of hours later the driveway was teeming with worms again. Which just goes to show you, when you try to fix a problem with the thing that caused the problem in the first place … you just open up a whole other can of worms. Follow Tracy on Twitter at @TracyinSuburbia. By Tracy Beckerman More Content Now MailTribune.com By Tracy Beckerman More Content Now Posted Apr. 15, 2015 at 12:01 AM » Comment or view comments Reader Reaction » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. Southern Oregon Directory Featured Businesses Loading... Business Name address Location, ST | website.com Find Southern Oregon Attractions Bars Restaurants Beauty Salons Entertainment Doctors Medical Specialists Contractors Education Lawn Services Lawyers Shopping Travel Tanning Used Cars Wedding Services ▼ Add your business here + Events Calendar Connect with MailTribune.com Facebook Twitter RSS Back to top Reader Services Reader Services Home Subscriptions Subscriber controls Contact us Submissions Photos Events Letters to the editor Corrections Announcements Obituaries Story ideas Since you asked Alerts Email Alerts RSS Feeds Text Alerts Advertise Media Kit Home Products and services Ad rates Advertising contacts Propel Marketing Mail Tribune Daily Tidings The Nickel Shop Our Valley Blogs Mobile Site Stay Informed Email newsletter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. Your privacy is important, read our privacy policy. © Copyright 2015 Local Media Group, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Local Media Group Publications Original content available for non-commercial use under a Creative Commons license, except where noted. MailTribune.com | P.O. Box 1108, Medford, OR 97501