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0 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation | Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? e-edition | subscribe | newsletter | deals Classifieds Jobs Autos Real Estate FEATURED » NEWS NOW Another wolf makes its way into Southern Oregon ... Our View: Let Medford voters decide on marijuana sales ... Reopening of the Siskiyou Line means trucking companies will take a hit ... Another wolf makes its way into Southern Oregon ... Our View: Let Medford voters decide on marijuana sales ... Reopening of the Siskiyou Line means trucking companies will take a hit ... Lost in Suburbia: April showers bring May diets Comment By Tracy Beckerman More Content Now MailTribune.com By Tracy Beckerman More Content Now Posted Apr. 1, 2015 at 6:33 AM By Tracy Beckerman More Content Now Posted Apr. 1, 2015 at 6:33 AM » Social News In the dictionary, next to the definition of Yo-Yo Dieter, there is a picture of my face. Yes, sadly, I have gained and lost enough weight to make a whole other person. Not all at once, of course. Up 20, down 10, up 10, down 20. I have every size clothing in my closet from 6-16, although, in all honesty, those sixes haven’t seen the light of day since 1995 BC (Before Children), while the sixteens have gotten more exposure than Lindsay Lohan on TMZ. I actually don’t even know what my ideal weight is anymore. There is a pretty broad range recommended for someone my age, gender, and height - from 107 to 145 pounds. I have to assume the 107 is for someone who is an overweight French runway model and the 145 is for someone who looks pretty fit but still sneaks a Krispy Kreme doughnut from time to time. I know that I could never be 107 unless I just ate dandelions, and at 145 I feel pretty good, although when I’m 145 I tell everyone I’m 135 which is kind of lying but since no one puts me on a scale to check, I figure what the heck. Of course, I don’t ever stay at 145 or this whole column would be moot. Every winter between October and March I gain upwards of 10 pounds (and I use that term “upwards” quite loosely). And then in March we turn the clocks ahead and I panic. “OH MY GOD!!! It’s almost bathing suit season and I gained 20 pounds! How did that happen? Someone get me some dandelions to eat!” Then I reactivate my gym membership and exercise my brains out so that I can get back into my tankini without scaring small children on the beach. Now, I know that it’s not healthy to gain and lose weight all the time. And I would much rather stay on the ideal weight end of things than have to struggle to constantly be on the losing weight end of things. But after I get down to my ideal weight, I start to believe I have amazing superhero powers and no matter what I eat, I will stay at that weight forever. So, I test this theory by eating all my kids’ Halloween candy, lots of cold weather comfort foods, and any Hostess cupcake that walks in the door. And then in March, when I am in the last pair of jeans that fit, I realize that my theory is all washed up, doughnuts are my kryptonite, and my superhero powers are limited to my apparent immortality in the face of the highest cholesterol number any living person has ever had. Every year I swear I’m not going to do this again, but then, like childbirth, I forget how bad it was, and I find myself quite literally back on the treadmill cursing the guy who invented cellulite and wondering if there is a weight loss plan based on bacon that I could find. Of course, just like it took me a number of months to put the weight back on, there are no shortcuts to losing it again either. As they say, if you do the crime you gotta do the time. I’m just wondering if the dandelions come in chocolate? Follow Tracy on Twitter at @TracyinSuburbia. By Tracy Beckerman More Content Now MailTribune.com By Tracy Beckerman More Content Now Posted Apr. 1, 2015 at 6:33 AM » Comment or view comments Reader Reaction » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. Southern Oregon Directory Featured Businesses Loading... 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