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0 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation | Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? subscribe | newsletter | deals Home News Latest Stories Police reports Students send heartfelt message to missing Ashland girl End-of-month sale set at Ashland library Rose Circle volunteers help mentor children 10 things to know for Tuesday Education A connection between Charlie Hebdo, MLK and the classroom Crunching the numbers Chickenpox in rear-view mirror? Ashland schools expand chicken pox exclusion rules Students go behind the scenes at hospital Environment Grant will help restore 'legacy' oak habitat in Southern Oregon and Northern California Mt. Ashland Ski Area crew dips to five Mt. Ashland Ski Area announces layoffs The top five conservation success of 2014 Protestors want Keystone pipeline plans stopped Business Ride & Drive: 2015 Audi Q5 Silvio Calabi: Chrysler 200S — hey, who is that? Ashland Fiber Network wants to be able to keep trade secrets The heart of Brammo will remain Silvio Calabi: Ford Escape Still a Solid Player Politics and elections Ashland Fiber Network wants to be able to keep trade secrets Volunteer award, State of City address presentations Tuesday City's policy, efforts aim for diversity, but numbers show shortfall Kent Bush: The keys to decoding the State of the Union address Chief Holderness retiring, wants to help find successor State News Two new wolves confirmed in Southern Oregon, state reviewing status of northeastern packs State records show number of big marijuana farms has increased New wandering wolf arrives in Southern Oregon Nation - World Obituaries Barbara Jean (Ton) Grover Death Notices May E. Harrison James Bernard Death Notices Shareable Looking back: Do you remember 2014’s biggest stories? In memoriam: 2014’s notable deaths Sports Latest Stories Grizzly spirit Howard named NAIA coach of the year Sacks, Gooding claim Century title Sacks, Gooding claim Century Tourney title Ashland girls remain winless in MWL High school Grizzly spirit Ashland girls remain winless in MWL Springfield takes advantage of Ashland letdown A Grizz sweep Comets press past Grizzlies Southern Oregon University Howard named NAIA coach of the year Ashland girls remain winless in MWL Fourteen Raiders earn CCC academic honors Four Raiders up for SOSC honors Springfield takes advantage of Ashland letdown Opinion Latest Stories Our View: Honor well deserved Letters to the Editor, Jan. 28 Guest Opinion: A New Year’s resolution you can keep: starting “the conversation” Our View: Whole lotta shakin' ... Letters to the Editor, Jan. 27 Editorial Our View: Honor well deserved Our View: Whole lotta shakin' ... Other Views: Managing wild horses Our View: Adjusting the lines Our View: City gets high marks Letters Letters to the Editor, Jan. 28 Letters to the Editor, Jan. 27 Letters to the Editor, Jan. 26 Letters to the Editor, Jan. 23 Letters to the Editor, Jan. 22 Guest opinions Guest Opinion: A New Year’s resolution you can keep: starting “the conversation” Chris Honoré: Modern media: the unreliable narrator Guest Opinion: The relevance of socialism in the U.S. Herb Rothschild Jr.: Support single-payer Guest Opinion: We're Oregonians, but we're not stupid Revels Latest Stories Listings for Varsity Theatre and Ashland Street Cinemas Brian Freeman presents 'An Evening of Scottish Music' Best Bets: Jan. 22-29 Ballyhoo! brings reggae and rock to Brickroom 'Sniper' reveals the total cost of war Theater Roy Orbison tribute hits high note Insights into the gifts theater offers off the stage Theater is an act of co-creation Music The Farr Side: Trainor building a music niche A laid-back chat with Marilyn Manson Roy Orbison tribute hits high note Jeff Kloetzel at Belle Fiore The Farr Side: Top 10 album count-up for 2014 Visual Art Schneider winter exhibits on tap: 'Baker's Dozen' and 'New Works' First Friday kicks off a new year Movies Movie review: ‘Mortdecai’ majorly misses the mark Movie review: Aniston’s performance is the icing on ‘Cake’ Movie review: ‘Cake’ showcases Jennifer Aniston at her best Listings for Varsity Theatre and Ashland Street Cinemas 'Sniper' reveals the total cost of war Food and Drink Cruelest Month: Poetry Blog Lifestyle Latest Stories Dear Monty: Is a home ‘trade-in’ a good idea? 5 Things to Do This Super Bowl Weekend (Jan. 30-Feb. 1) Rose Circle volunteers help mentor children Eleanor's dog and the veil between worlds Buying a home? Consider its walkability Aging Happens Inner Peace Column Inner Peace Blog Classifieds Jobs Autos Real Estate FEATURED » Obituaries Photos Videos Blogs Business NEWS NOW Our View: Honor well deserved ... Guest Opinion: A New Year’s resolution you can keep: starting “the conversation” ... Calendar: Wednesday, Jan. 28 ... Our View: Honor well deserved ... Guest Opinion: A New Year’s resolution you can keep: starting “the conversation” ... Calendar: Wednesday, Jan. 28 ... AGING HAPPENS The long-distance dilemma Comment By Ellen Waldman DailyTidings.com By Ellen Waldman Posted Jan. 25, 2015 @ 3:32 pm By Ellen Waldman Posted Jan. 25, 2015 @ 3:32 pm » RELATED CONTENT • Thorough evaluation can sort out cognitive changes • How to find help unraveling the Medicare and Social Secur... • In the new year, be sure you have your 'ICE' file ready » Social News Some years ago, I worked with a family whose mother had lived in Ashland for a long time. The three adult children were scattered from Minnesota to two different locales in California. This made it very challenging to monitor her needs from so far away. Although Louise lived in Ashland at an independent facility for aging adults, as her dementia progressed, she was less able to manage her own needs. One of the sad parts of dementia is that people really think that they are doing fine — when, in fact, there are gaps in big areas of their daily care needs. On her own, she choose to move to another facility outside of Ashland, and it was then that I heard from the family asking for some assistance in evaluating her situation. It was shocking to see how far she had declined, and I felt it imperative to suggest that Louise move to a different type of facility, where she could really be cared for. This adult foster care home turned out to be the perfect spot for her. She actually thrived for some time, until she passed away in this final home. Last summer, the family gathered at the Ashland Community Center to hold a memorial for Louise. Friends and family came from all over to honor and celebrate her life. At the memorial, they had a table set up with brand new children’s books, for all different ages. Everyone was asked to please take one in Louise’s honor and give to a child who would enjoy reading this book. Honestly, isn’t this a terrific idea? Recently, the adult children did something amazing. They sent me a long and eloquent testimonial letter, stating in detail what it was that I was able to do for them and their mother. Before you think I’m just patting myself on the back, there is a reason for this true story. Here are a few lines from their letter: “Ellen also visited Mom for us when we could not. She observed things relating to Mom's care that we might not have even noticed as non-professionals. She also helped strengthen the fabric of Mom's safety net, because Mom liked her and trusted her. That was very important to us.” Here’s the point of selecting these lines to share in this column. If you are a long-distance caregiver (and this is the term used for family members living at a distance), then you will want to know how best to attend to the needs of your loved one. Having a relationship established with a care team of professionals early on in the process means that as things continue to change, someone will notice the difference and be able to report on this. Just as important, the level of trust that this requires for client and professional takes time to develop. We (meaning care providers and care managers) just can’t waltz into someone’s life and expect immediate rapport and acceptance, no matter what their age. This is why sooner is not too soon, when it comes to getting help. For those who might need more information on how to care from a distance, especially when the person has Alzheimer's disease, there are many online resources. One that is particularly helpful is a booklet by the National Institute on Aging (www.nia.nih.gov; 800-222-2225) called “So Far Away: Twenty Questions and Answers about Long-Distance Caregiving.” They also have a wealth of other booklets and articles that might apply to your needs. AARP.org has many wonderful resources for this topic. Just put “long-distance caregiving” in the search box. Some of this next information I’ve mentioned before, but it bears repeating. Here in Ashland, it helps to find out what organizations like Ashland at Home (http://ashlandathome.org; 541-613-6985) might be able to provide. The Adult and Disability Resource Connection (ADRCofOregon.org; 855-673-2372) is very helpful, especially for those with lower incomes. The Alzheimer’s Association has an office in Medford (711 E. Main St; 541-772-2230) and Lori Stanton, regional coordinator, is very willing to take the time to help you solve these problems. As I often mention, the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers (caremanager.org) has hundreds of members like me in just about any region in the US. They can provide just this sort of overseeing that is so needed by families living at a distance. And please consult with the Ashland Library, as they are sure to have a book that addresses this topic as well. With families often living far away, peace of mind comes from planning in advance. Ellen Waldman is a certified geriatric care manager. Email questions about aging and Ashland-area aging resources and column suggestions to her at [email protected]. By Ellen Waldman DailyTidings.com By Ellen Waldman Posted Jan. 25, 2015 @ 3:32 pm » Comment or view comments Reader Reaction » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. calendar Connect with DailyTidings.com Facebook Twitter RSS Back to top Reader Services Reader Services home Subscriptions Subscriber controls Contact us Submissions Photos Events Letters to the editor Corrections Alerts Email alerts RSS feeds Text Alerts Advertise Media Kit Home Products and services Ad rates Advertising contacts Mail Tribune Daily Tidings The Nickel Shop Our Valley Blogs Stay Informed Email newsletter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. Your privacy is important, read our privacy policy. © Copyright 2015 Local Media Group, Inc. All Rights Reserved. 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