Mourning a teacher, treasuring the threads he wove - News - DailyTidings.com - Ashland, OR

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2015-03-01

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2 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation  |  Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? subscribe | newsletter | deals Home News Latest Stories Is a Welcome Center a good idea? Music on the Mountain: Ski area launching concert series Police looking for possible additional victims in Ashland rape cases Bee college takes to the air Police Reports Education Bee college takes to the air Grizzlies shine at Eugene speech tourney Ashland High School named among best in the state High school Student of the Month: Jackson Richmond Senior party fundraising starts Environment The birdman of Bellview Controlled burn planned for Ashland watershed on Friday Mt. Ashland Ski Area celebrates snow GMO opponents can join Jackson County in defending ban Business Ride & Drive: 2015 Audi R8 Locally grown businesses bid for micro-investor attention Ride & Drive: 2015 Hyundai Santa Fe Seed donation helps grow SOU program Local home brewing scene continues to ferment Politics and elections Ballots on Jackson County marijuana tax go out today Kate Brown sworn in as Oregon's 38th governor Gov. Kitzhaber steps down, federal investigation begins Successor Kate Brown must run for election in 2016 Sadness, relief greet Kitzhaber resignation locally State News Kate Brown sworn in as Oregon's 38th governor Federal investigation of Kitzhaber to focus on potential financial crimes Gov. Kitzhaber announces resignation Read Gov. John Kitzhaber's statement on his resignation Legislative leaders join in call for Kitzhaber resignation (updated) Nation - World Leonard Nimoy, famous as Mr. Spock on 'Star Trek,' dies Obituaries Death Notices Rita Launa Stitt Rev. James Gillmore Leovy Death Notices Mary Ann (Schuler) Hill Shareable Bank of America is predicting a massive Tesla collapse Mars One attracts science fiction geeks and people who hate society This $1 million Mercedes is like an armored private jet for the road Sports Latest Stories Owls stun No. 8 Raiders Blazers overcome Westbrook's triple-double, rally past Thunder Roles reversed for SOU-OIT matchup Norvell goes from newbie to state favorite Raiders survive High school Owls stun No. 8 Raiders Norvell goes from newbie to state favorite Grizz boys fend off Eagles, earn second straight win Malcolm's big night powers Ashland past N. Eugene Grizzlies suffer another tough loss; SOU softball team sweeps BC Southern Oregon University Owls stun No. 8 Raiders Roles reversed for SOU-OIT matchup Raiders survive Raiders roll into CCC semis A man among boys Voices Latest Stories Herb Rothschild: What to do about ISIS? Granlund cartoon: Leonard Nimoy dies Our View: A growing concern Jeffrey Gillespie: Generation Y and the baby boomers Our View: A change of scenery Editorial Our View: A growing concern Our View: A change of scenery Our View: Pot tax fairness Our View: Cellular dissonance Our View: Keep pot programs separate Letters Letters to the Editor, Feb. 25 Letters to the Editor, Feb. 24 Feb. 20: Letters at length Feb. 18: Letters to the editor Letters to the Editor, Feb. 14 Guest opinions Guest Opinion: Growth carries risks Guest Opinion: Legal poisons in our waters Chris Honoré: Public schools: separate, still unequal Guest Opinion: Why so anxious to tax marijuana? Herb Rothschild Jr.: A good day for peace Columns Herb Rothschild: What to do about ISIS? Jeffrey Gillespie: Generation Y and the baby boomers Changes in latitude Michelle Teheux: Will we keep heading down the wrong path? Guest Opinion: Growth carries risks Chris Honore Council Corner Editor's Notes Jeffrey Gillespie Herb Rothschild Revels Latest Stories Community blog: Writers, submit HAPA plays the Historic Ashland Armory Listings for Varsity Theatre and Ashland Street Cinemas SOU presents 'She Stoops to Conquer' 'Mr. Turner' paints an intense portrait Theater SOU presents 'She Stoops to Conquer' Ticket Availability SOU's 'The Glass Menagerie' is memory — and memorable Ticket Availability Joyous re-launch of 'Dames at Sea' Music Music on the Mountain: Ski area launching concert series Victor D. Infante: Just in time for Valentine’s Day, some favorite breakup songs The Farr Side: Smith dominates, Beck surprises at Grammys Visual Art Ashland's First Friday Art Walk showcases new exhibits by regional artists Movies Movie review: ‘Lazarus Effect’ should have been buried Movie review: Don’t ‘Focus’ on the problems and you’ll enjoy this Neill Blomkamp discusses his new film, ‘Chappie’ Quick Flicks: ‘Jupiter Ascending,’ ‘50 Shades of Grey’ Listings for Varsity Theatre and Ashland Street Cinemas Food and Drink Sammich does it Chicago-style Where do Ashland’s top chefs go to dine? Cruelest Month: Poetry Blog Lifestyle Latest Stories Mourning a teacher, treasuring the threads he wove Community Blog: You Are IT Ride & Drive: 2015 Audi R8 Health Watch: Sticking to your health plan when your family isn’t helping Joanna McQuillan Weeks: Cheeseburger pie is the perfect winter comfort food Aging Happens Inner Peace Column Inner Peace Blog Classifieds Jobs Autos Real Estate FEATURED   » Obituaries Photos Videos Blogs Business Business Services NEWS NOW   Herb Rothschild: What to do about ISIS?       ...       Music on the Mountain: Ski area launching concert series       ...       Police looking for possible additional victims in Ashland rape cases       ...       Herb Rothschild: What to do about ISIS?       ...       Music on the Mountain: Ski area launching concert series       ...       Police looking for possible additional victims in Ashland rape cases       ...           INNER PEACE Mourning a teacher, treasuring the threads he wove Comment By Selene Aitken DailyTidings.com By Selene Aitken Posted Feb. 27, 2015 at 4:30 PM By Selene Aitken Posted Feb. 27, 2015 at 4:30 PM Share your Inner Peace --> The Ashland Daily Tidings invites residents of the Rogue Valley to submit articles on all aspects of inner peace, including intuition, inner guidance, mind t... » Read more X Share your Inner Peace The Ashland Daily Tidings invites residents of the Rogue Valley to submit articles on all aspects of inner peace, including intuition, inner guidance, mind training, courage, fearlessness, forgiveness of self or others, honesty, gentleness, humor, open mindedness, friendship, tolerance, trust, faith, kindness, gratitude, overcoming and/or accepting life’s challenges of addictions, loss, grief, pain, awareness of presence and more. Send 600- to 700-word articles to Sally McKirgan, [email protected] . »  Social News My teacher died. On Feb. 7 with family at his side, Marshall Rosenberg, student of Gandhi and Carl Rogers and creator of Nonviolent Communication, passed away. I met Marshall in 1996 at a workshop for mediators, which was sponsored by a generous Ashland benefactor. “Everyone’s needs on the planet can be met,” Rosenberg said, his eyebrows arching and craggy cheekbones emphasizing this declaration. “He’s nuts” I thought. But then I remembered he’d been working in Rwanda, the Middle East and U.S. inner cities, so I continued listening. Again, he strained my credulity when he told us to practice by breaking into “gangs” of “loggers” and “forest defenders” to role-play a mediation. I raised my hand. “That conversation could never take place,” I said with fervor. He glared at me, his dark eyes penetrating while his eyebrows danced. Since then, of course, those conversations have indeed taken place. Maybe it was in that moment when we locked eyes and I felt my certainty crumble, that I vowed I would grasp what he was teaching. It took some years to understand, agree with and practice the principles he espoused. For example: caring for everyone’s needs with equal respect; listening without judgment; remembering that everyone’s words and actions are motivated by the same universal values. Rosenberg developed tools to turn the principles into skillful communication. They’re of the “simple but not easy” variety and require a lifetime of practice. I committed to live and then teach the principles and how to apply them. I have met numerous other teachers and explored dozens of paths. As I reflect on the impact Rosenberg has had on my life and how steadily I have worked to follow his guidance, I identify, by contrast, roads I have not walked and multiple opportunities I have, with regret, let go by. I missed possibilities such as a career working for the United Nations High Commission for Refugees, playing a musical instrument, a trek in the Himalayas and so on. At the same time, I celebrate the choices that have become colorful threads running through my life. Nonviolent Communication, also known as Compassionate Communication is, of course, foundational, as is the practice of Buddhist meditation and precepts. Another thread is my love of travel. Teaching, whether English as a Second Language in White City or mediation in rural Colombia, has been a lifelong passion. A nourishing strand is my enjoyment of nature (wild whenever possible). When I was 6 years old, I fell in love with dancing and I continue to rely on it for joy and health. In the course of personal growth workshops that instructed me to define my life’s mission, I came up with “To create a little more peace in the world.” As I survey the themes woven through my life, I appreciate the colors and patterns braiding around the central pole of bringing a little more peace to the world. I am content with the choices I’ve made and I am grateful for the light they shine on the path ahead. My teacher’s influence has illumined the lives of many thousands, from CEO’s in Hong Kong to inmates in Oregon, peace activists in the Middle East, psychotherapists, mediators, medical personnel, parents, students, teachers and others. Even those who only know Rosenberg by reading his books say he changed their lives. Touching chat messages honoring his life and his passing have been shared from the Philippines, from India and every continent. Here’s one that encapsulates them and speaks for me too: “I feel that we lost a great person who devoted himself for a betterment of people's lives and humanity in all over the world including myself. May Good Rest his Soul in the Heaven.” A., from Ethiopia, Addis Ababa. With a deep bow to Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, 1935-2015.  Selene Aitken, M.Ed, mediator and communications coach, is an international trainer with the Center for Nonviolent Communication. She offers workshops and consultations locally and via Skype and phone. Her Restoring Kinship work supports families with adult children challenged by issues such as estrangement, conflict and dependence. For more information, go to www.TheDanceofCommunication.com.  By Selene Aitken DailyTidings.com By Selene Aitken Posted Feb. 27, 2015 at 4:30 PM » Comment or view comments   Reader Reaction »  STAY INFORMED   Email NewsLetter   Sign Up Today   Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. calendar Connect with DailyTidings.com Facebook Twitter RSS Back to top Reader Services Reader Services home Subscriptions Subscriber controls Contact us Submissions Photos Events Letters to the editor Corrections Alerts Email alerts RSS feeds Text Alerts Advertise Media Kit Home Products and services Ad rates Advertising contacts Mail Tribune Daily Tidings The Nickel Shop Our Valley Blogs Stay Informed   Email newsletter   Sign Up Today   Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. Your privacy is important, read our privacy policy. © Copyright 2015 Local Media Group, Inc. 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