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2 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation | Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? subscribe | newsletter | deals Home News Latest Stories Is a Welcome Center a good idea? Music on the Mountain: Ski area launching concert series Police looking for possible additional victims in Ashland rape cases Bee college takes to the air Police Reports Education Bee college takes to the air Grizzlies shine at Eugene speech tourney Ashland High School named among best in the state High school Student of the Month: Jackson Richmond Senior party fundraising starts Environment The birdman of Bellview Controlled burn planned for Ashland watershed on Friday Mt. 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INNER PEACE Mourning a teacher, treasuring the threads he wove Comment By Selene Aitken DailyTidings.com By Selene Aitken Posted Feb. 27, 2015 at 4:30 PM By Selene Aitken Posted Feb. 27, 2015 at 4:30 PM Share your Inner Peace --> The Ashland Daily Tidings invites residents of the Rogue Valley to submit articles on all aspects of inner peace, including intuition, inner guidance, mind t... » Read more X Share your Inner Peace The Ashland Daily Tidings invites residents of the Rogue Valley to submit articles on all aspects of inner peace, including intuition, inner guidance, mind training, courage, fearlessness, forgiveness of self or others, honesty, gentleness, humor, open mindedness, friendship, tolerance, trust, faith, kindness, gratitude, overcoming and/or accepting life’s challenges of addictions, loss, grief, pain, awareness of presence and more. Send 600- to 700-word articles to Sally McKirgan, [email protected] . » Social News My teacher died. On Feb. 7 with family at his side, Marshall Rosenberg, student of Gandhi and Carl Rogers and creator of Nonviolent Communication, passed away. I met Marshall in 1996 at a workshop for mediators, which was sponsored by a generous Ashland benefactor. “Everyone’s needs on the planet can be met,” Rosenberg said, his eyebrows arching and craggy cheekbones emphasizing this declaration. “He’s nuts” I thought. But then I remembered he’d been working in Rwanda, the Middle East and U.S. inner cities, so I continued listening. Again, he strained my credulity when he told us to practice by breaking into “gangs” of “loggers” and “forest defenders” to role-play a mediation. I raised my hand. “That conversation could never take place,” I said with fervor. He glared at me, his dark eyes penetrating while his eyebrows danced. Since then, of course, those conversations have indeed taken place. Maybe it was in that moment when we locked eyes and I felt my certainty crumble, that I vowed I would grasp what he was teaching. It took some years to understand, agree with and practice the principles he espoused. For example: caring for everyone’s needs with equal respect; listening without judgment; remembering that everyone’s words and actions are motivated by the same universal values. Rosenberg developed tools to turn the principles into skillful communication. They’re of the “simple but not easy” variety and require a lifetime of practice. I committed to live and then teach the principles and how to apply them. I have met numerous other teachers and explored dozens of paths. As I reflect on the impact Rosenberg has had on my life and how steadily I have worked to follow his guidance, I identify, by contrast, roads I have not walked and multiple opportunities I have, with regret, let go by. I missed possibilities such as a career working for the United Nations High Commission for Refugees, playing a musical instrument, a trek in the Himalayas and so on. At the same time, I celebrate the choices that have become colorful threads running through my life. Nonviolent Communication, also known as Compassionate Communication is, of course, foundational, as is the practice of Buddhist meditation and precepts. Another thread is my love of travel. Teaching, whether English as a Second Language in White City or mediation in rural Colombia, has been a lifelong passion. A nourishing strand is my enjoyment of nature (wild whenever possible). When I was 6 years old, I fell in love with dancing and I continue to rely on it for joy and health. In the course of personal growth workshops that instructed me to define my life’s mission, I came up with “To create a little more peace in the world.” As I survey the themes woven through my life, I appreciate the colors and patterns braiding around the central pole of bringing a little more peace to the world. I am content with the choices I’ve made and I am grateful for the light they shine on the path ahead. My teacher’s influence has illumined the lives of many thousands, from CEO’s in Hong Kong to inmates in Oregon, peace activists in the Middle East, psychotherapists, mediators, medical personnel, parents, students, teachers and others. Even those who only know Rosenberg by reading his books say he changed their lives. Touching chat messages honoring his life and his passing have been shared from the Philippines, from India and every continent. Here’s one that encapsulates them and speaks for me too: “I feel that we lost a great person who devoted himself for a betterment of people's lives and humanity in all over the world including myself. May Good Rest his Soul in the Heaven.” A., from Ethiopia, Addis Ababa. With a deep bow to Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, 1935-2015.  Selene Aitken, M.Ed, mediator and communications coach, is an international trainer with the Center for Nonviolent Communication. She offers workshops and consultations locally and via Skype and phone. Her Restoring Kinship work supports families with adult children challenged by issues such as estrangement, conflict and dependence. For more information, go to www.TheDanceofCommunication.com.  By Selene Aitken DailyTidings.com By Selene Aitken Posted Feb. 27, 2015 at 4:30 PM » Comment or view comments Reader Reaction » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. calendar Connect with DailyTidings.com Facebook Twitter RSS Back to top Reader Services Reader Services home Subscriptions Subscriber controls Contact us Submissions Photos Events Letters to the editor Corrections Alerts Email alerts RSS feeds Text Alerts Advertise Media Kit Home Products and services Ad rates Advertising contacts Mail Tribune Daily Tidings The Nickel Shop Our Valley Blogs Stay Informed Email newsletter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. Your privacy is important, read our privacy policy. © Copyright 2015 Local Media Group, Inc. All Rights Reserved. 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