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0 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation | Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? subscribe | newsletter | deals Home News Latest Stories Annual See's candy sales start Friday Mt. 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Politics and elections Granlund cartoon: GOP wrecking balls Oregon voters narrowly reject GMO labeling measure Kitzhaber wins fourth term Merkley wins re-election by wide margin Elected without opposition State News Nation - World Obituaries John (Jack) Dillon Death Notices Death Notices Death Notices William Michael Chesney Sports Latest Stories No. 8 Raiders to host first-round playoff game Six Grizzlies voted MWL first-teamers Ice skating rink opens today Grizzlies roughed up at Silverton No. 13 SOU falls to Concordia in CCC semis High school Six Grizzlies voted MWL first-teamers Grizzlies roughed up at Silverton Upset-minded Grizzlies brace for undefeated Foxes Georgia Williams commits to Columbia Gabe Lehrburger, Grizzlies clean house in MWL all-star voting Southern Oregon University No. 8 Raiders to host first-round playoff game Grizzlies roughed up at Silverton No. 13 SOU falls to Concordia in CCC semis No. 4 Raiders, No. 16 Mounties meet with much on the line Streaking Raiders brace for CCC tournament Opinion Latest Stories Our View: Letters to the Editor, Nov. 15 Herb Rothschild: TPP agreement draws opposition from all sides Amy Gehrt: All presidents deserve respect Granlund cartoon: Rosetta and comet Editorial Our View: Our view: Generating a good idea Our View: Looking beyond the snow Our View: Voters chose wisely in council elections Our View: Your vote does matter Letters Letters to the Editor, Nov. 15 Letters to the Editor, Nov. 11 Letters to the Editor, Nov. 10 Letters to the Editor, Nov. 3 Letters to the Editor, Oct. 28 Guest opinions Herb Rothschild: TPP agreement draws opposition from all sides Guest Opinion: A meaningful step toward political bipartisanship Tell Wyden not to push trade pact Guest Opinion: Local paper is a treasure Herb Rothschild: Tell us how they vote Revels Latest Stories Community blog: National Readathon Day is coming Rogue World Ensemble presents 'Gather 'Round' 'Red Noses' is a romp through slapstick and pathos Best bets for things to do around Ashland, Nov. 13-20 'Interstellar' is a complex journey to the stars Theater Hard to keep a straight face with 'Red Noses' 'Red Noses' is a romp through slapstick and pathos 'The Drunken City': Bachelorettes meet bar-crawlers Music The Farr Side: CMA telecast was a disappointment Bass Clarinet Takeover Book review: 'The Next Elvis,' by Barbara Barnes Sims Best bets for things to do around Ashland The Farr Side: On ‘1989,’ Taylor Swift lightens up Visual Art Ashland's First Friday Art Walk showcases new exhibits by regional artists Movies Movie review: ‘Theory of Everything’ is winsomely human Movie review: ‘Theory of Everything’: Let’s get physics-cal Tommy Lee Jones (finally) puts on a happy face 'Interstellar' is a complex journey to the stars Movie review: Sci-fi epic ‘Interstellar’ gets lost in space Food and Drink Blue bows out of Granite Street site, Agave moving in Chef count up at feast for the senses Cruelest Month: Poetry Blog Lifestyle Latest Stories Annual See's candy sales start Friday Expert in the field: Kathy Petersen of Adult Foster Care Homes Going with the flow of change Dr. Murray Feingold: ‘Grief is the price we pay for love’ Ride & Drive: 2015 Ford Expedition Aging Happens Inner Peace Column Inner Peace Blog Classifieds Jobs Autos Real Estate FEATURED » Obituaries Photos Videos Blogs NEWS NOW Our View: ... Ashland Calendar ... Herb Rothschild: TPP agreement draws opposition from all sides ... Our View: ... Ashland Calendar ... Herb Rothschild: TPP agreement draws opposition from all sides ... Suzette Martinez Standring: Unexpected wisdom from teens By Suzette Martinez Standring, More Content Now DailyTidings.com By Suzette Martinez Standring, More Content Now Posted Nov. 7, 2014 @ 12:01 am By Suzette Martinez Standring, More Content Now Posted Nov. 7, 2014 @ 12:01 am » Social News As I get older, I don’t often hear firsthand what teenagers think and feel about relationships, so I happily listened in on the two girls in my backseat. I had never met “Dedra,” 15, and “Anna,” 17, before. They were attending a Christian teen conference sponsored by The Boston Church of Christ that drew over 350 kids from New York, New Jersey and New England to Massachusetts. I was one of the host families, and my two guests hailed from Connecticut. In the car, the younger one talked about a boy,  “He doesn’t know I like him.  We’re friends.  It’s not that I want more, but I think about him a lot.” Ah, the intensity of a high school crush, and this is how it starts. Every adult-like experience is brand new, and the missteps plentiful. A new study by The Guttmacher Institute, which focuses on reproductive health, reported that nearly half (48 percent) of teens polled have had sex by age 17, and the percentage jumps to 71 percent by age 19.  Moral or religious convictions are leading reasons given by teens to abstain from sex (38 percent among females and 31 percent among males). In a world seemingly awash in sex, it was refreshing that Dedra and Anna were not debating intimacy.  Rather, the younger one explored feelings of attraction and insecurity within the context of her Christianity. At 17, Anna offered faith-based counsel. “There’s nothing wrong with you liking him.  Just don’t make a guy your god. Otherwise, everything you do, everything you choose, will be about him. Make God No. 1, and let God guide you to the life he has in mind for you.” I nearly drove off the road, blown away by her wisdom. In shorthand that means respect yourself, create and reach for your own dreams. Let God guide you to your purpose. Accept no substitutions. When I was young, everything I learned came from the school of “the burned hand learns best.” At age 60, I’ve learned that hanging my self-worth on a man or the approval of others had been my false gods.  This young girl had summarized spiritual priorities that took me years to discover. “Don’t make a guy your god.” Replace the word “guy” with money, career, power, or addiction, and illusory thrones appear to which adults bow before.  Teenagers unwittingly give allegiance to peer pressure, or acceptance, or non-conformity to negative extremes.  You don’t have to be religious to understand Bob Dylan’s famous song, “Gotta serve somebody.”  But whom or what? Dedra and Anna do not lead sheltered lives.  Like most high school kids, they struggle with fitting in and making the right decision among many confusing choices. They face family challenges, but when the going gets rough, they insist prayer creates a steadiness in their lives. Dedra quoted Philippians 4:13: “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” In getting to know them both, it was clear this was not a platitude, but a daily practice in possibilities. Email Suzette Martinez Standring at [email protected] . She is syndicated with GateHouse Media and teaches writing workshops nationally based on her books “The Art of Column Writing” and “The Art of Opinion Writing.” Visit www.readsuzette.com .   By Suzette Martinez Standring, More Content Now DailyTidings.com By Suzette Martinez Standring, More Content Now Posted Nov. 7, 2014 @ 12:01 am » Comment or view comments Reader Reaction » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. calendar Connect with DailyTidings.com Facebook Twitter RSS Back to top Reader Services Reader Services home Subscriptions Subscriber controls Contact us Submissions Photos Events Letters to the editor Corrections Alerts Email alerts RSS feeds Text Alerts Advertise Media Kit Home Products and services Ad rates Advertising contacts Mail Tribune Daily Tidings The Nickel Shop Our Valley Blogs Stay Informed Email newsletter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. 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