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- Subscribe - Contact Us - Rate Card - Place an Ad Archives Revels Classifieds Real Estate Menu Guide Wedding Weather Subscribe Contact Us July 11, 2005 Trust children to learn from their mistakes By Beckie Elgin Ashland I have read with interest the angry letters blasting columnist John Darling. I don’t agree. I will admit that I am a friend of John’s and not of those whom he apparently insulted. However, this goes far beyond whom I know and don’t know. These issues delve deeply into my own ideas, experiences and hopes related to parenting. John would never condone any behavior that would endanger our children. And he has never said he had all the answers to a very difficult job. But what John has done is present ideas of child rearing that go against the grain of people who believe that if enough control is exerted in our kids’ lives they will not come to any harm. This is not the answer; it is simplistic and doesn’t work. We cannot control all the influences. What we do have control over is how our children see themselves in our eyes, our words and our behavior toward them. John has taught me a lot about this idea. He believes in trusting our kids; this is a difficult concept, I know. I didn’t do it for years but now I do, thanks to my three kids, as well as several intelligent, strong-minded friends like John Darling. My own experience as a parent has taught me that despite the inevitable mistakes that arise on both sides, the best I can do for my kids is to love them, teach them what little I know and help them realize that I have every faith in them, and because of this they have hope of learning to have faith in themselves. Mistakes have been made by my children, serious ones. One daughter was sent away for her “bad behavior” by her father to a right-wing, Christian cult until I quickly kidnapped her out of that hell on earth. I am also the mother of the kid who ended up in the emergency room recently with alcohol intoxication. If you feel a need to disregard this letter now, go ahead, but first try to understand how much can be learned from such ordeals, not only for our family but for the many others that shared in the problem and resolution with us. I didn’t condemn or blame my children; the value and pain of their own experiences educated them. I am profoundly grateful that all my kids have endured their poor decisions, and we all grieve for those who did not survive their or another’s tragic error. Mistakes do happen to the best people. I feel my kids epitomize this; they are caring, intelligent people and I am incredibly proud of them. Many of us wish to thank John Darling for being there as a friend and a bold thinker and for supporting our efforts in raising our children. Keep writing; we need your groovy ideas. They work. DailyTidings.com Home Page Archives | Revels | Classifieds | Real Estate Guide | Weather | Subscribe | Contact Us Copyright 2005 Ashland Daily Tidings and Ottaway Newspapers All Rights Reserved Free Music Downloads Slippers Ceramic Piggy Banks Heloc Calenders 2005 Women's & Men's Slippers Accelerate Weightloss Products Memory Foam Mattress tcg student loan consolidation Home Equity Loans teleconferencing W2 Forms cortisol; weight loss Diamonds Futures Broker Bad Credit Loans Auto & Personal Loans Mesothelioma Search Engine Optimization Free Home-Loan Referrals Sports Betting Website Design & Marketing Student Loans African Safari Conference Calls - $50/Month Security Systems Helzberg Diamonds Currancy Exchange Online Casinos Community Student Loans Bonus Casino Poker Games Homeschooling Auto Insurance Mortgage Calculator Mailing Lists Mystery Shopping Jobs Debt Consolidation Loans Payday Loans Air Purifiers Click Here .:Advertisements:. Site Search: RESOURCES - Mail Tribune News - ODOT Road Cams