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- Subscribe - Contact Us - Rate Card - Place an Ad Valley&State Backpage O&E Sports Archives Classifieds Faith&Beliefs Obituaries Revels October 8, 2004 Tantra: Another look at sex By John Darling Tidings Correspondent We all believe sex is wonderful - just not (usually) as it shows up in our lives. It doesn't have to be that way, say Charles and Caroline Muir, who literally wrote the book on it - 1988's "Tantra, the Art of Conscious Loving" - and plan a three day training here next week to spell out the basics on being "more passionate and loving in bed." Tantra, an ancient but often misunderstood sacred art of India, is a "yoga of sexual love that blends your passion and sexuality with the spiritual part of yourself," said Caroline in a phone interview. "We accomplish a big shift in consciousness for people who think they know all about sex and hope she has hers and he has his." The Muir's seminar, to be held at Best Western Windsor Inn, runs the evening of Oct. 15 and all day and evening Oct. 16 and 17. It costs $375 or $750 per couple and is preceded by a booksigning at Bloomsbury's, 7:30 p.m. Thursday. While most people think sex is instinctual and consider themselves good lovers, the reality falls well short of that, said Charles. "We all need to examine where we learned to become masters of love. Few have. Most of us get no real training to be great lovers and few of us understand the needs of the opposite sex. That's what we're going to learn." Learning the techniques of Tantra creates "more intimacy, passion and joy on the plane of sexual love, double to quadruple the length of the orgasm and elevates ordinary sex to the realm of sexual love and a better relationship," he added. Far from being "all about sex," Tantra is a yoga of awareness and sensuality, of seeing, valuing and loving one's partner as "a spark of the divine" and "connecting deeply" in all ways, including sexuality, Caroline said. The seminar includes no nudity, but participants are given intimate "homework" each evening. It includes learning breathing techniques, creating erotic spaces, keeping one's eyes open in lovemaking, learning maximum pleasuring in caressing the "sacred spot massage" and honoring that "their genitals are created by the same god who created the rest of them," she said. In a culture that puts a lot of energy into yoga, seminars and attaining higher spiritual consciousness - sex, despite its obvious power, is at the bottom of the list, leaving most people unfulfilled in bed and looking for that "missing something," she added. People who learn Tantra usually report that it has changed their lives toward a "sacred intimacy" and helped them feel they are "healing the planet of much disease, unhappiness, trauma and violation around sexuality," Caroline said. Leah Alchin of Talent, a Tantra trainer certified by the Muirs, said Tantra represents a path away from the "suffering of negative sexual programming" and toward more whole and loving friendships, loving relationships and community. A graduate of eight Tantric trainings, Alchin said the work helped her get over fears and be "deeply seen" in the act of "conscious love." Tantra, she added is healing, because it opens compassion to confront "rage and sadness around molestation, divorce and other traumas and get them out of your body, so they don't hold you back from love." Tantra training attunes one to the "inner beloved" so it can connect to the "outer beloved" or partner, she said. Dr. Shavana Fineberg of the Applegate said Tantra "helped me approach what I always knew was possible, a true experience of bliss, sensual, sexual, heartfelt bliss. It's also my spiritual path. Tanta uses sexual energy, the most powerful energy in the universe, because it creates life, for spiritual evolution." "Sexual energy channeled up through the chakras (energy centers) using Tantric techniques, creates conscious spiritual expansion," Fineberg said. Tantra represents a force of planetary betterment, she added, because, "Shame and fear around sex came from religion and if people are totally free sexually, they can't be controlled and there wouldn't be a lot of war. People would have their own, direct path to God." Ann Goebelt of Talent said, "It changed my outlook on everything. I was very closed sexually and afraid to let go. I had rules around what I was supposed to do and not supposed to do." Her husband Greg Goebelt added, "Ann exploded as a goddess for me." The couple reported much improved communication and healing of past pain. "Behind the pain is extreme pleasure," said Greg. "If you do go through the block, it can be very uncomfortable, but you become present for each other." Will Wilkinson of Ashland called the seminar "a beautiful, temple-like experience where you feel safe, heard and honored. It isn't a license to mess around with everyone. We're in a very committed, monogamous relationship and we expected to be experts. Speaking as a man, it was very humbling." "Everyone I know has had so much abuse, so there's sexual shutdown," said Mira Sophia of Ashland. "For me, this work is about sacred androgyny, the healing of the planet through the marriage of the masculine and feminine. Sex is sacred. It's about my relationship with God and the coming together of men and women in love, as a blessing for the earth." 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