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--> --> May 16: Danger, I like the sound of that word By Larry Berteau What you may not know about me is: I laugh at danger. So much, I could have been a private eye, a bank robber, a lion tamer, an Enron executive. I whistle past graveyards. I rip the manufacturer's tags off mattresses. I drive around for two days with the fuel light on. I write checks for my bills on Monday, mail them on Tuesday, and deposit to cover them on Wednesday. I drive around campgrounds without seat belts. I write a column, unfazed by a ridiculous shortage of subject matter. A walk on the wild side might as well be a jog through the fields of ambrosia. You get the picture. Danger is my middle name. Newsroom mayhem So it was with Wednesday's massive 4.3 magnitude earthquake. I barely flinched. My chair (it's on wheels) rolled right, then left, then back to the right. There are editors who would have buckled under that pressure. I looked over at Troy, the news editor, and he was as white as the robe of choice at a Selma, Ala., City Council meeting. He smiled nervously, and bit his lip. His eyes were asking the ghastly question: "Was it, you know, an earthquake?" I nodded matter-of-factly. "Yep." Troy took solace in my resolve, and rose to the occasion. "Bring back Page One, we have a re-make," he barked. He was impressive, bathed in my overwhelming impressiveness. During the (newsroom) after-shock, Troy confided that he had surfed through a shaker in San Diego. This definitely earned him a new miDDle initial, or two. Don't look down I have no idea how many temblors I have survived. Maybe four or five. There was the Loma Prieta - we chanted "Play Ball" from the stands. There was the one that came in the middle of a putt in the East Bay Hills of San Francisco when I still managed to cozy up within three feet of the cup from at least nine feet away. (With nerves of steel, I 3-putted.) The others were of less consequence, either due to less consequence, or compromising situations at the time that cannot be revealed due to a firm commitment to propriety I have maintained over the years of living so close to the edge. Holy Hurricane, Harry Before moving to earthquakeville, I was famous in Florida as well. Hurricanes were an excuse for a party. I would lead my revelers outside as the leading edge hurtled upon us. We'd grab hold of a tree and weather the storm through to the eye. At that point, we stopped and laughed, then braced for the following edge. Hurricane holiday, it was. The danger arrived, and stuck between the Larry and the Berteau - like a blob of cotton candy on a 3-year-old kid. Hsss, this is a quiet village Since childhood, lightning has always intrigued me. It was never to be feared, simply wondered at. The licking bolts only served to feed my aesthetic appetite. There are many more examples. You may know of the time I stared down a deadly timber rattler in my backyard (in Quiet Village, no less). Due to my wife's affection for all critters great and small (the stuff of long relationships with journalists) I was not allowed to dispatch the vile, venomous vermin. I had to capture him alive. Yep, reptilian catch-and-release. That rattler didn't go without a fight, I'll tell ya. Hold me close tiny temblor So it was that Wednesday's quake was just another moment in the life for LDB. No biggee. Pass the ambrosia. Larry Berteau is editor of the Tidings. Email your... Technical questions & comments to: WebMaster Daily Tidings editorial comments & questions to: Editor Visit our other Oregon Newspapers... | Albany Democrat-Herald | Ashland Daily Tidings | Corvallis Gazette-Times | | Lebanon Express | Newport News-Times | Springfield News | Cottage Grove Sentinel | Ashland Daily Tidings 1661 Siskiyou Blvd. Ashland, OR 97520 Telephone 541-482-3456 © Copyright 2001 Lee Northwest Publishing