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2 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation | Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? subscribe | newsletter | deals Classifieds Jobs Autos Real Estate FEATURED » NEWS NOW Guest Opinion: 'Gather' is appropriate and worthy ... Decision on large-scale art piece draws criticism from many quarters in Ashland ... We Regret to Inform You: Ashland flier took his bomber into the heart of Germany ... Guest Opinion: 'Gather' is appropriate and worthy ... Decision on large-scale art piece draws criticism from many quarters in Ashland ... We Regret to Inform You: Ashland flier took his bomber into the heart of Germany ... TEACHER'S TIPS Child's age should guide discussions on death Comment By Paul Huard DailyTidings.com By Paul Huard Posted Sep. 22, 2015 at 12:01 AM By Paul Huard Posted Sep. 22, 2015 at 12:01 AM » Social News When a beloved family member or friend dies, it leaves a hole in our lives. It’s hard enough to deal with your own grief — dealing with a child’s grief will pose an extra special challenge. I’ve known adults who lost someone when they were young — a grandparent, for example, or even a mentor such as coach or teacher — and they said that person was closer to them than their mother or father. Regrettably, sometimes children must deal with the death of another child such as a friend at school, fellow member of a sports team or another child in the family circle. Yes, children are resilient — but never assume that a child will “just get over” a death. Children mourn — I’ve seen children’s grief both as a teacher and a parent, and it is very real. What children understand about death depends highly on their age and their stage in life. However, there are some guidelines that a parent should consider if he or she ever needs to discuss the final stage of life with their child. An excellent resource for advice is the KidsSource website, kidshealth.org , which is sponsored by the Nemours Foundation. Many of the points I bring up in this article are found at that site. If your child is very young (younger than 5 or 6 years old), keep in mind that children that age usually do not have a concept of what death is. At the same time, remember that young children will always ask the question, “Why?” A child’s thinking is very literal and concrete at that stage of life. Avoid euphemisms like “he went to sleep” or “she went away” — you could prompt confusion or fear in the child. Older children (ages 6 to 10) often have some concept of what death is. At that age, children deal best with death when given accurate, simple, clear and honest explanations about what happened. Young adolescents and older teen-agers could be confronting one of life’s realities head on for the first time: We all die. Empathize with the child. This is a good time to share how a death affected you in life — the hurt, the woe and even the fear that experiencing death can make us feel. There’s an excellent chance that your child is experiencing the same emotions. If the death was the result of poor choices — drug or alcohol use, or failure to wear a seat belt — the conversation is an opportunity to remind your kid to make better choices because you love your child and want him or her to experience a long, full life. No matter what the child’s age, don’t hesitate to seek help. If religious faith is part of your life, it might be a good time to turn to your house of worship for strength and comfort. In addition, do not hesitate to contact your principal or school counselor to ask about available resources that can help you and your children weather the storm that a death can bring. A conversation with your child about death will not be easy. But it can make all the difference in the world about how he or she remembers the life of someone who made an unforgettable difference, and how honoring their memory will help them see the hope that lies ahead. A former reporter who covered politics and government for newspapers in California and Oregon, Paul R. Huard teaches social studies and English courses at Ashland High School. The opinions he expresses are his own. By Paul Huard DailyTidings.com By Paul Huard Posted Sep. 22, 2015 at 12:01 AM » Comment or view comments Reader Reaction » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. Southern Oregon Directory Featured Businesses Loading... 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