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May 19 , 2004 - Subscribe - Contact Us - Rate Card - Place an Ad Valley&State Backpage O&E Sports Archives Classifieds Faith&Beliefs Obituaries Revels February 13, 2004 Downtown Brought to my knees Andrew Scot Bolsinger I always take a little breath before I answer my phone. It's safe to say that anything can, and often does, happen once I say hello. But the call I got Wednesday still caught me off guard. "You are being arrested," the caller said. Like those old cartoons, scenes of my life flashed before my eyes. It was pure relief when I quickly realized that I was being arrested by the Southern Oregon/Northern California District of the Multiple Dystrophy Association. Behind bars The judge has ruled and I am to turn myself in on March 11 at high noon, to the Standing Stone Brewery Jailhouse. My bail has been set for "twelve hundred," I was told. "As in dollars?" I gulped. As in dollars. "You should ask your friends to help bail you out," the voice on the other end of the phone said. It looks like I am going up the river for a very long time. It's finally happened, you have brought this editor to his knees. I am begging. I need your help � Well, in actuality, more than 180 families from the State of Jefferson need your help. "Over seventy-six cents of every dollar goes directly to local needs," Amanda Springer, MDA staffer said. "We have more than 180 families we serve." The lock up is the biggest fundraiser of the year for a local cause that very much needs our support. Bailing me out of jail is a fun way to do that. A celebrity The blow of my sentence was softened when the caller said I was chosen because of my stature as a local celebrity. Ah � that makes more sense, I thought. But Springer helped set me straight. "We are still recruiting jailbirds," she said. "We have more than 200 people already. Our goal is 350. We like to get as many people in that door as possible." Now, I know Ashland is a pretty special place, but 350 celebrities?! If you have blood in your veins, you too can be a celebrity. Such is the price of fame, right?! The blow to my star power was, however, softened when I learned that in September 2002, Ashland raised more than $10,000 during the last lock up. That's a lot of help and shows the generosity of this community � generosity, mind you, that I am counting on to set me free come March 11. Besides, it's fun for everyone, Amanda tells me. An arresting officer will come issue the warrant and take me away in cuffs. Once at the jail, me and 300 or so of my fellow partners in crime will be clad in stripes, placed behind bars. Our mug shots will be taken, and we will be given what Amanda calls, "our version of bread and water." I have a feeling that at Standing Stone, it's the water and a whole lot more. So here's the deal: Come help me make bail. Anyone making donations can also tell me everything I am doing wrong at the newspaper, which I know is a favorite pastime in this town. It's a two-for-one bargain! Seriously, it's a great way for me to meet the readers of this newspaper in person, and an even better way to help people with disabilities who badly need the financial support. If you can't come down to event, you can still help. MDA will take credit cards pledges (Call my new friend Amanda at 858-9815, just make sure you let them know it's to help me post bail). Or you can drop me an e-mail to make a pledge, just make sure you include your name, phone number and address. You can also send me checks, made out to MDA (and it pains me to say this, but not to my Hawaii fund) at PO Box 7, Ashland. c/o Bolsinger Bail. And when those other 300 or so jailbirds call for a pledge, just tell them that you are making a fat donation to that pin-headed editor of the Tidings. That's real altruism. Come on Ashland, I am counting on you! DailyTidings.com Home Page Valley&State | Backpage | O&E | Sports | Archives | Weather | Classifieds Columnists | Faith&Beliefs | Obituaries | Revels | Subscribe | Contact Us Copyright 2004 Ashland Daily Tidings and Ottaway Newspapers All Rights Reserved Site Search: .:Advertisements:. RESOURCES - Mail Tribune News - ODOT Road Cams