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- Subscribe - Contact Us - Rate Card - Place an Ad Valley&State Backpage O&E Sports Archives Classifieds Faith&Beliefs Obituaries Revels August 16, 2004 The search for self-esteem derailed By Peter H. McCusker Medford Author Thanks to Chris Honore's article (July 30), I now understand that my self-esteem is nothing but a fraud. Overcoming my four-eyed, bedwetting, zit-faced, nerdy childhood and earning a university degree never made me feel more confident. Creating a haircut I can cut myself and buying a new wardrobe has left me as ugly as I've always been. Studying human nature and behavior has taught me nothing about myself or others. In short, Chris has let me know just how low my self-esteem actually is. Not. In fairness, Chris is right with several of his comments. We are all insecure because we are mortal, and families muddy our self-esteem further with their insecurities. Madison Avenue exploits these feelings because most of us don't know how to overcome our fears except by buying their products. And a slick new car or plastic surgery won't do the trick either. Life is a struggle to survive physically and psychologically in an ambiguous world. We are given the power to think, discover, and create ways to meet the challenges of survival and ambition. That elusive sense of self-esteem is an art that is usually not taught by parents, schools, or society. The key is learning to build a well-rounded package that balances the mind and body. Of all the elements of self-esteem, looks and body image rank near the top of most people's lists. Having an educated understanding on how haircuts or clothes enhance or diminish an individual's appearance and experimenting with different ideas will help you find your best look. Your self-confidence will rise knowing you have done the best you can. There is usually a satisfactory solution to a beauty problem that is often rather simple if you look hard enough. For instance, eyesight can be improved with simple eye exercises without glasses, contacts or surgery. Love handle relief requires proper nutrition and exercise and wouldn't even be a problem if we would watch what we eat and workout to begin with. When Oprah Winfrey does her makeover shows, it's incredible seeing the poise and self-confidence in frumpy-looking women once they know how to look good. Looks alone won't be enough. Your intellectual curiosities, romantic and sexual desires, and social skills are needed to complete the package. Again, society teaches little of these attributes and misinformed people often lead us astray. Both ignorance and other's low esteem seek to pull everyone in that direction. Chris' story is a harbinger of defeatism that does more harm to the self-confidence of his readers than offering solutions to people on how to improve themselves. By suggesting that finding self-esteem is impossible, his message for us all is that we are doomed to failure so don't even try. Giving up will make us so much healthier. Trying to accomplish something difficult is what makes life worth living. No, we will never achieve complete, harmonious mental health. Life is full of ups and downs and is a never ending search for happiness. Reaching our goals isn't everything; enjoying the journey toward them is what counts. Peter H. McCusker is the author of "From Dweeb to Adonis: The Complete Guide to Manly Excellence," available at Bloomsbury Booksellers. DailyTidings.com Home Page Valley&State | Backpage | O&E | Sports | Archives | Weather | Classifieds Columnists | Faith&Beliefs | Obituaries | Revels | Subscribe | Contact Us Copyright 2004 Ashland Daily Tidings and Ottaway Newspapers All Rights Reserved Click Here Site Search: .:Advertisements:. RESOURCES - Mail Tribune News - ODOT Road Cams