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0 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation | Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? subscribe | newsletter | deals Home News Latest Stories Trying to get a handle on panhandling Calendar: Saturday, Sept. 13 So THIS is where food comes from Police Reports Garden serves up a feast fit for monarchs Education So THIS is where food comes from Longtime dean honored as fine leader, friend Signups underway for classes for older adults They're back (and they've brought friends) Free TED talk simulcast in Ashland Environment Garden serves up a feast fit for monarchs Only voters can make a tree tops in town Getting away from — and back into — it all Definition of 'water year' is fluid Excitement electric at first alternative fuel vehicle show Business Fretwell Music Ashlander creates new product intended to solve old problem App that promotes walking tested here Electric innovators incubate creativity Loving the leather at Village Shoes Politics and elections Mark L. 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Lewis: Intellectual heavyweights spar over life's big issues 'Freud's Last Session" at Ashland Contemporary Theatre Wise cracks and hot licks make for super show OSF adds 'Wrinkle in Time' Family Night Music Q&A: Acousta Noir The Jeff Stanley Trio at Lounge South Visual Art Ashland's First Friday Art Walk showcases new exhiits by regional artists Movies Movie listings for Varsity Theatre, Ashland Street Cinemas 'Guardians of the Galaxy' is worth the trip Movie listings: Sept. 5-11 Movie listings: Aug. 27-Sept. 4 'Calvary' is about darkness and dialogue Food and Drink Lifestyle Latest Stories Community Blog: Third Chakra Development Confronting the tyranny of expectations Peace House honors Rabbi Michael Lerner Community Blog: Predicting Peace - 1 of 7 Staying in your home requires planning Classifieds Jobs Autos Real Estate FEATURED » Obituaries Photos Videos Blogs NEWS NOW Calendar: Saturday, Sept. 13 ... Police Reports ... Calendar: Friday, Sept. 12 ... Calendar: Saturday, Sept. 13 ... Police Reports ... Calendar: Friday, Sept. 12 ... COMMUNITY CONTRIBUTOR: INNER PEACE Confronting the tyranny of expectations 'Whatever happens, I will doggie-paddle through the waves of Reality and eventually reach the beach called What Is' By Victoria Leo For the Daily Tidings DailyTidings.com By Victoria Leo For the Daily Tidings Posted Sep. 12, 2014 @ 1:26 pm By Victoria Leo For the Daily Tidings Posted Sep. 12, 2014 @ 1:26 pm » RELATED CONTENT Inner Peace submissions --> The Ashland Daily Tidings invites residents of the Rogue Valley to submit articles on all aspects of inner peace, including intuition, inner guidance, mind training, courage, fearlessness, forgiven... » Read more X Inner Peace submissions The Ashland Daily Tidings invites residents of the Rogue Valley to submit articles on all aspects of inner peace, including intuition, inner guidance, mind training, courage, fearlessness, forgiveness of self or others, honesty, gentleness, humor, open mindedness, friendship, tolerance, trust, faith, kindness, gratitude, overcoming and/or accepting life’s challenges of addictions, loss, grief, pain, awareness of presence and more. Send 600- to 700-word articles to Sally McKirgan, [email protected] .   • Community Blog: Being at peace with your Inner Process • How to find inner peace • Vision quest leads to inner peace • The smorgasbord of inner peace » Social News Where does your stress come from? There’s a whole litany, isn’t there? And all of those events, needs, situations and people are very real, cannot be ignored and are worthy of attention, aren’t they? Of course they are. If you are any kind of emotionally mature adult, you deeply resent any unskillful person who has the unmitigated gall to tell you that stress is always internally generated. I’m with you, brothers and sisters. Put me on a beach on Maui and I will be very hard-pressed to experience stress. My cortisol levels will be so low, you couldn’t detect them with an electron microscope! Stress is very definitely “out there.” Any idiot can see that. And yet, all the research — all of it — confirms John Donne’s poetic prediction that the mind by itself can make a hell out of heavenly external circumstances (think of how Othello torpedoed what should have been a lifetime of deep love with his wife) and a heaven out of hellish circumstances (think of any hero or heroine). So why doesn’t our life experience conform to the scientists’ research results? The difference is expectations. If you find yourself snarling at the world and everyone in it, dig deep and you will find an expectation that the 1 percent would not destroy the entire US economy, including your livelihood and the retirement savings that you slaved and deprived yourself for 40 YEARS to earn, in order to get incrementally more rich than they already were. The problem with expectations — I can only be happy if the future turns out the way I want it to — is that we are setting ourselves up for unhappiness. No matter how reasonable the expectation is. Expecting four decades of hard work to lead to a comfortable retirement (i.e., effort will equal results) was not obviously unreasonable. The intrinsic reasonableness, at least to my mind, of an expectation is irrelevant; there aren’t really “safe” expectations and “unsafe” expectations. Any expectation puts the power to generate joy or sorrow (or anger, resentment, fear) in someone or something else’s hands — not yours. And let’s be clear what an expectation is. Expectations are not plans. I can plan, and should. Buying insurance, contributing to a Roth IRA or a college fund, and mapping out an itinerary through northern India and Nepal, are all examples of planning for the future. Taking your malaria medication every day and bring medicines along on your trip is planning. Assuming that you are not, because of your careful planning and thoughtful action, going to get sick is an expectation. If you expect your life to be composed entirely of good health, sunny skies and no casualty losses that are not promptly indemnified in full, you are not in touch with the reality of life. The road to happiness is to do everything in your power to avoid the avoidable, stupid pitfalls and let go of all expectations concerning results. So you take off for your trip, knowing that you might end up sicker than a hound dog during the honeymoon or the only chance you’ve had to see your beloved sister for 15 years, and be able to laugh about it. In my case, being sick on my honeymoon gave me permission to visit the bookstore and then sink down into bed and surrender to my misery. Sicker than a hound dog during my three-day visit to a beloved relative meant I allocated $2,000 for airfare for another trip to see her, during which time I will do everything possible to avoid germs, but understand that my immune system isn’t familiar with the fauna of New Zealand and I can’t control that fact. My expectation is, whatever happens, I will doggie-paddle through the waves of Reality and eventually reach the beach called What Is. And it will be OK, because What Is is a place where Love exists, in whatever form it manifests, and having Love in my life is the only expectation I have. Ashland resident Victoria Leo is a life-health-career coach, clinical hypnotherapist who uses Usui and Karuna reiki for healing and training. To "Soar With the Dragaons," go to her website at www.soaringdragon.biz ; for more, go to www.linkedin.com/in/victoriacleo . By Victoria Leo For the Daily Tidings DailyTidings.com By Victoria Leo For the Daily Tidings Posted Sep. 12, 2014 @ 1:26 pm » Comment or view comments Reader Reaction » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. calendar Connect with DailyTidings.com Facebook Twitter RSS Back to top Reader Services Reader Services home Subscriptions Subscriber controls Contact us Submissions Photos Events Letters to the editor Corrections Alerts Email alerts RSS feeds Text Alerts Advertise Media Kit Home Products and services Ad rates Advertising contacts Mail Tribune Daily Tidings The Nickel Shop Our Valley Blogs Stay Informed Email newsletter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. Your privacy is important, read our privacy policy. © Copyright 2014 Local Media Group, Inc. All Rights Reserved. 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