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3 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation | Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? e-edition | subscribe | newsletter | deals Home News Latest Stories Week-long lane closure coming to Tenth Street 10 things to know for Tuesday Funds sought to upgrade youth prison 10 things to know for Monday Medford's second-hand law gets a second look Crime, Courts and Emergency Services Emergency Services, Feb. 24 Man critically burned in trailer fire Medford neighbors take up arms against a sea of graffiti Emergency Services, Feb. 23 Car crashes into new south Medford home Politics and Elections Ballots on Jackson County marijuana tax go out Friday Brown's inauguration brings hope to local lawmakers Kate Brown sworn in as Oregon's 38th governor Gov. Kitzhaber steps down, federal investigation begins Gov. Kitzhaber announces resignation Education Medford, Ashland districts fall short of anti-bullying standards Grace to assume school governance AHS principal up for national award Today is exclusion day for kids who don't have required vaccines A question of punishment Environment Lost Creek Lake logjam could become hazard for boaters Made in the Shade Controlled burn planned for Ashland watershed on Friday Coho salmon road trip Mt. Ashland Ski Area celebrates snow State News Oregon to launch investigation into Kitzhaber email leak Brown says she'll preserve Oregon death penalty moratorium Tentative deal reached in West Coast port labor dispute State Senate votes to dissolve Cover Oregon Psychic gets 8 years for con of timber heir Nation - World Obituaries "Billy" Geyer Gregory Paul Harlow Everett Raymond Evon "Bud" Pennington Death Notices Weather Photo Galleries Since You Asked Videos Web Cams Mail Tribune 100 Shareable Mars One attracts science fiction geeks and people who hate society This $1 million Mercedes is like an armored private jet for the road Sports Latest Stories Fantasy Sports: Youth is the way to go when stocking up at second Harden's triple-double boosts Rockets LOCAL REPORT No. 8 Kansas victimized by K-State comeback LOCAL EVENTS Varsity 541 College Sports No. 8 Kansas victimized by K-State comeback Raiders host Yotes in quarterfinal round Beavers a win away from outright Pac-12 title Comeback in Corvallis Bubble Breaker? Pro Sports Harden's triple-double boosts Rockets Playoffs could use overhaul A-Rod back, but avoids PED specifics Grizzlies overcome deficit to beat Blazers Hahn wins Riviera after playoff Community Sports Business Latest Stories Warm winter has fruit growers poised for action People in Business Ride & Drive: 2015 VW Golf R Silvio Calabi: Kia Soul mixes practicality with personality Briefcase: Business briefs for Feb. 21 Real Estate News Housing prices climb 9 percent in Jackson County Big plans on the Butte Homes for the long haul People In Business People in Business People in Business Transportation Medford airport flies past January record Agriculture Warm winter has fruit growers poised for action Briefcase: Business briefs for Feb. 21 1-800-Flowers dumps Harry & David execs Nine companies pitch investment opportunities in Medford Darigold to shutter Medford plant, putting 29 out of work Opinion Latest Landgren cartoon: Old Man Winter Our View: Homeless food proposal is the best solution yet Letters to the Editor, Feb. 24 Guest Opinion: Bill would shore up legal aid funding Mark L. Hopkins: History speaks to us on our present economic situation Editorials Our View: Homeless food proposal is the best solution yet Our View: Smell of trouble may spark marijuana limits Voter bill secures a fundamental right Our view: Will Brown reach out to rural Oregon? Our view: Expulsions hurt students, district, community Letters to the Editor Letters to the Editor, Feb. 24 Feb. 23: Letters to the editor Feb. 22: Letters to the editor Feb. 20: Letters to the editor Feb. 19: Letters to the editor Columns Guest Opinion: Bill would shore up legal aid funding Parker: Cable news twists the 'war on Islam' Independent Party focuses on the public interest Milbank: Walker's cowardice on view in NY Will: Tweet this: Digital dialogue won't work Guest Opinions Guest Opinion: Bill would shore up legal aid funding Guest Opinion: Weed killers should not be sprayed on streams, homes Guest Opinion: Understanding Wes Cooley Guest Opinion: Smokers: Quit before this happens to you Guest Opinion: Our public school system is a stew pot of clashing ingredients Lifestyle Latest stories Community blog: Clean anything with lemons, baking soda, vinegar Wry & Ginger: Nobody nose sternutation consternation Donna Knight: Going through priceless memories Shayne Looper: Whoever exalts himself will be humbled Dr. Elaine Heffner: Oscars and reality Food Community blog: Clean anything with lemons, baking soda, vinegar Food for Thought: Feed your creativity with Havarti Kitchen Call: Baseball, beans and Bob Motley Gail Ciampa: Scrod Francaise fits the bill for Lenten dining Restaurant Inspections: Sunday, Feb. 22, 2015 Home and Garden Home Help: Low-maintenance landscaping ideas Garden Cameos: Winter is the time to prune How to install energy-efficient windows the right way Dear Monty: Nine downsizing tips for seniors Carol Link: Prime time for pruning blueberries approaches Health Community blog: And if I Die Before I Wake Dr. Murray Feingold: Does a sedentary lifestyle make you prone to disease? Dr. Jeff Hersh: Breathe easy - all about lung function Health Watch: Health improvements you can make today that will pay off for a lifetime Runners’ Corner: Helpful winter running hints Hiking Biking Faith Religion briefs: Friday, Feb. 20 Religion News: Pope makes surprise shantytown visit Religion briefs: Friday, Feb. 13 RELIGION BRIEFS, Feb. 6 Religion News: Church of England consecrates first female bishop Milestones and Achievements Anniversary: Hofer New arrivals: Sunday, Feb. 8 Columnist for a Day Rogue Healthy Aging Tempo Latest stories SOU presents 'She Stoops to Conquer' Live Music in Local Clubs OSF kicks off its 2015 season SOU presents 'The Glass Menagerie' Third Fridays showcases local artists Theater SOU presents 'She Stoops to Conquer' 'The Glass Menagerie' is polished and professional OSF kicks off its 2015 season SOU presents 'The Glass Menagerie' Le Cirque presents 'City Walk' Music Professor Gall plays Oberon's Tavern Live Music in Local Clubs The music that made Paris famous Blues Jam at The Little Brown Jug Southern Oregon Jazz Orchestra Community Events Third Fridays showcases local artists Southern Oregon Rod and Custom Show Ashland's First Friday Art Walk showcases new exhibits by regional artists Jacksonville celebrates Chinese New Year Comedian Susan Westenhoefer pulls no punches Dining Restaurant Inspections: Sunday, Feb. 22, 2015 Saigon Xich Lo Vietnamese cuisine The zwickels shall flow Soo Rah Korean Cuisine Stylish shareables are the feature at Brickroom Tempo Videos Classifieds Jobs Autos Real Estate FEATURED » Obits Blogs TV Listings Movie Listings Oregon Outdoors Oregon Healthy Living Magazines/Special Sections Business Services NEWS NOW Our View: Homeless food proposal is the best solution yet ... Guest Opinion: Bill would shore up legal aid funding ... Medford's second-hand law gets a second look ... Our View: Homeless food proposal is the best solution yet ... Guest Opinion: Bill would shore up legal aid funding ... Medford's second-hand law gets a second look ... Wry & Ginger: Nobody nose sternutation consternation By Sid McKeen More Content Now MailTribune.com By Sid McKeen More Content Now Posted Feb. 24, 2015 @ 8:04 am By Sid McKeen More Content Now Posted Feb. 24, 2015 @ 8:04 am » Social News p bs:newslist StartDate="20121121" EndDate="p bs:datecalc Months="3"" DateSort="1" UseObjects="1" ObjectClass="81" Taxonomywords="2325,665" ExactTaxonomyMatch="1" Image="1" Count="4" --> I’ve been married to my wife for just over a dozen years now, and not a day passes that I don’t bless her. Sometimes I bless her once for every year we’ve been together. Let me explain. Anne suffers not from an excess of husbandly devotion, the kind that results in gifts every Valentine’s Day of outsized teddy bears, but from sternutation, an ostentatious word for sneezing. Frankly, I never heard of sternutation until last week when it showed up as Word of the Day on my daughter’s laptop. She enjoys forwarding these little language morsels to me when they strike her as especially arcane, and inquiring, “Did you know this one?” Only rarely can I answer in the affirmative, or as most of us ordinary mortals call it, “Yes.” I feel better knowing that there is such a thing as sternutation. It sounds serious enough to make my frequent “bless yous” seem warranted. On those occasions — and they’re frequent — when she sneezes, say, a dozen times in a row, I have felt perhaps I was overdoing it, even mocking her, by invoking these blessings as if they were somehow obligatory. I’ve never fully understood why we say “bless you” or “God bless you” when somebody sneezes anyway, but it seems compulsive, even among total strangers. I don’t know how many times I’ve sneezed in some public place and drawn blessings from people I’ve never laid eyes on. Nobody says a word when I cough, blow my nose, burp or clear my throat. In fact, such behavior is more likely to draw disapproving glares than earnest prayers. So why the special treatment for the sternutators among us? Never mind, don’t send me Wikipedia’s explanations of this peculiar phenomenon. I could look it up myself if I weren’t more interested in getting this piece to the editor on time. The sneeze most memorable to me happened when I was a kid in the seventh grade. My teacher, Mrs. Harding, a prim and aging lady, had a habit of carrying a facial tissue in her bosom. One afternoon, while she was standing in front of our class, discoursing at length on some middle-school subject, her face wrinkled suddenly and she started to sneeze. She reached into her dress top in alarm and tried to retrieve the tissue. Too late. Her violent ker-choo reverberated across the room, and she sneezed all over a boy named William Pomeroy, seated in the front row. “Jesus Christ!” he bellowed, stunned by events. “Uh-oh,” we all thought to ourselves, “He is really going to get it now,” and we braced for what seemed certain to be an unforgettable cataclysm. Mrs. Harding, embarrassed by her inability to stifle her sneeze, but composed as ever, looked at him sympathetically and said with what was unquestionable sincerity, “I’m very sorry, William.” I remember thinking, “Wow, what a great lady.” I’m not positive, but I think William asked and got permission to change his seat. As for Anne, I have no idea what causes her ongoing issue with sternutationism. She lives with it, and I do too. An allergy of some sort, I’d guess, maybe to black pepper. I continue to bless her though, day after day. Maybe she’s allergic to me, who knows? Today is her birthday. Happy birthday, kid. Eighty-seven is nothing to sneeze at. Sid McKeen’s column appears in The Worcester (Mass.) Telegram & Gazette. He can be reached at [email protected]. By Sid McKeen More Content Now MailTribune.com By Sid McKeen More Content Now Posted Feb. 24, 2015 @ 8:04 am » Comment or view comments /* $( document ).ready(function() { // Jquery mobile is trying to style the button and leaving a blank gry button on top of a white button $("#viafouracoms .vf-comment-controls li.vf-right").html(' Submit '); });*/ » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. calendar Connect with MailTribune.com Facebook Twitter RSS Back to top Reader Services Reader Services Home Subscriptions Subscriber controls Contact us Submissions Photos Events Letters to the editor Corrections Announcements Obituaries Story ideas Since you asked Alerts Email Alerts RSS Feeds Text Alerts Advertise Media Kit Home Products and services Ad rates Advertising contacts Mail Tribune Daily Tidings The Nickel Shop Our Valley Blogs Stay Informed Email newsletter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. 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