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Over the Back Fence By HANK HENRY I�m a bad gambler; you can bet on it Let me tell about a man who has no card sense, no dice sense, no ability to pick a winner in horse or dog racing � a man who would lose on any day of the week that he chose to gamble. That man is me � a real patsy who learned during World War II that I apparently have some sort of a character trait that guaranteed that I would lose at any game of chance. The guys who were good at games of chance knew a sucker when they saw one. It was like I had the word tattooed on my forehead in red flashing lights. Most people get hooked on gambling after winning a few big bets. Then, when their luck changes, as it always does, the memory of those winning times drives the sucker on to a life of losing more and more. Fortunately, I was able to give up gambling without much of a problem. I did pass the time on shipboard out in the Pacific playing such games as hearts or rummy. And even then, I lost more times than I won, even when playing just-for-the-heck-of-it and not for money. Losing in games of chance is not particularly a personality trait passed down through a family. Chronic winners and losers can be found perched on the same branch of a family tree. My only brother was a professional card player � not one of those card sharks, but a man who used to teach classes on contract bridge, a game that calls for an abundance of card sense. He once ran a bridge club in Beverly Hills, and he was a life master of contract bridge. My brother was also a whiz at "three-dimensional chess," which is played on two glass boards mounted one above the other. As I understand it, the players may play back and forth or up and down from one board to the other. I'm sure I would never be able to master either the contract bridge or the chess game. Do you have a "card sense?" My wife Nora certainly does. It all goes back to those long winter evenings on the ranch where the whole family played cards to pass the time. She found she was good at anticipating what her opponents would do, and figuring out how to force an opponent make the wrong play. When we got married, I learned that she was very good at playing card games, but only if they were not played for money. Her ability disappeared when someone suggested a game for profit. In spite of the inequality of our card skills, Nora and I have been playing for years one game daily of what is called Spite and Malice, a game best played by only two people because it takes four decks of regular cards for two people to play. Four players would require such a large amount of cards they would never get shuffled properly. I lose to Nora about four out of every five games, but my percentage of wins has been creeping up in recent years, sometimes as much as two wins in a week. I am absolutely a dunderhead, but I enjoy the game for the challenge. Nora says that the main reason she plays the game is that it gives her an accurate indication of the level of stress in my life. And she is right. When I had a bad day the office, I went from being a poor player to being a complete dud. One summer we commissioners were picketed once a week by a group which ranged in size over the summer from about six to a dozen people. They spent the summer yelling at us and then disappeared. I don�t think I won a game that summer, but when they left, I went back to occasionally winning. One of the reasons I enjoy it is that no score is kept. Each player is dealt a stack of 21 cards, plus five more for each person�s hand. The first person to get rid of all his or her cards is the winner. For more on how the game is played, check with your library for a book of instructions on card games. You miss the point of the game of Spite and Malice if you play several games a day. You'll find that you soon become jaded and the game begins to seems like work. One a day is enough. (Hank Henry is a retired Jackson County commissioner and a former radio and television announcer. Call him at 772-9055.) Obituaries | Sports | Business | Classifieds | Tempo | Prime Times | So Oregon Sites | Outdoor Journal | Subscribe | Contact | Movies | Advertise | Real Estate Showcase | Archive | Editorials | Letters to the editor | Religion | Wake-up Call | NIE | Cyber Chef | Job Network | So Oregon Weather | WSJ Northwest | Forums | AP Wire | AP Money | F.A.Q. | Awards Ottaway Newspapers, Inc. The Community Newspaper Subsidiary of Dow Jones & Co, Inc Copyright �The Mail Tribune 2000, Medford, Oregon USA