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Dad breaks the bank to keep up appearances By Richard Hunter Oct 16, 2022 12:15 AM A A My dad had a habit of overspending on gifts he couldn’t afford. As we grew up, his desire to spoil us worsened. We each wore fine clothing, played with awesome toys and, on our 13th birthdays, received our own 13-inch, black-and-white TVs. Yes, sir. Life was good, even though we really couldn’t afford it. As I reflect upon that part of my childhood, I do so with mixed feelings. My dad was a strict man, raised in Kent (the Garden of England) by a father who believed if you spare the rod, you spoil the child. When I turned 15, my father pulled me aside and asked if I was interested in going on a cruise. It didn’t take much convincing before I let out an excited: “Yes!” Apparently, my folks were now into separate vacations and, since my dad took my sister, Susan, to Miami the previous year, it was Mom’s turn to pick a kid and go. I was the “kid,” and the “go” was a cruise from New York City to Nassau in the Bahamas. My dad definitely was keeping up appearances with family and friends. As far as I was concerned, whether he could afford it or not, I was going on a cruise. On the first day at sea, aboard the SS Oceanic, I met Sandra and Lisa. They shadowed me during the entire cruise. Sandra’s dad, a peanut farmer, thought I would make a good son-in-law. I guess he liked me. He even asked my mom if she would allow me to move to Montana, marry his daughter and learn the peanut farm business (tempting — Sandra was awfully cute). On our last day at sea, the girls bought me a “farewell” gift: an engraved Zippo lighter. They were awesome, and so was my time with them. My most memorable event on board was the night I escorted my mom to the ship’s nightclub to watch a talent show. I didn’t tell her I signed up. Mom’s jaw dropped as my name was called. I jumped up onstage and danced the “twist” with a tall, blonde, mature 30-something band member wearing a long, flowing evening gown. My prize: a chilled magnum of Champagne. Returning to my table, I filled everyone’s glass and made a toast to the band and especially to my stunning dance partner. The entire flute emptied in one gulp. I took the now half-empty bottle and headed topside, looking for the girls. I couldn’t believe they actually gave alcohol to an underage kid. I assumed I looked a few years older. It must have been the tailored tuxedo with white dinner jacket my dad couldn’t afford that helped me keep up appearances. My dad went into serious debt on that cruise expenditure. When my dad passed away in 1991, my new wife, Kerry, and I went to Victoria, Canada, to help my mom any way we could. Everybody pitched in. As I reviewed his accounts, I was blown away by how much debt my dad had, all of which was accumulated compound interest. Many phone calls were made to each of the credit cards he owned (and loved), and a final payment on each was negotiated. Account(s) closed! When everything was said and done, there wasn’t much left over for Mom. She spent her final years living with my brother, David, and his family. Looking back, I never really cared about keeping up appearances, especially ones I couldn’t afford. Richard Hunter lives in Jacksonville.