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Over the Back Fence By HANK HENRY Grandkids always come all too soon Grandparenting seems to arrive suddenly, and too soon. The first thing you�ll hear yourself say is, "I�m too young to be a grandparent." When the first grandchild appears, everything changes. If the parents and the grandparents live in the same area, there will soon come a time when baby-sitting is needed. This usually falls to the grandmother, as many grandfathers my age didn�t have much hands-on experience with their own children, much less other people�s babies. Not having much to do with the raising of babies has been true of male cultures over the centuries. Men traditionally put all their energies into their work and the women changed the diapers, breast-fed, potty-trained, disciplined and taught babies about life. As the babies arrived, the whole world for a mother was contained within the four walls of her home. Back then, a majority of mothers didn�t get out of the house for days at a time, and many did not have grandparents living nearby to relieve the pressure. All this was true of family life in the horse-and-buggy days, and it is true that pioneer women led very restricted lives. But for many today, there isn�t much difference between being a mother now and being one then. Which leads me to both a confession and a look at the brighter side. The confession is this: During the crucial 10 or so years that make up a childhood, I just wasn�t there for our kids most of the time. I did try to take them individually out to the television station on Saturday nights so they could watch me do a newscast, and I took them grocery shopping, and we would go to drive-in movies on weekends. But the number of hours per week that I would spend with our kids was in the single digits. The same could be said about my time at home with my wife, Nora, during those years. As the guy in charge of news, and having a very small staff, I felt that I had to do everything. I would report, anchor, develop film and so forth � but all that was done after driving many miles in a day to collect news and film stories in one of the seven counties where we were seen. This got a little easier as we hired more people, but I still was not at home much. If I could do it all over, I would not be so afraid of losing ratings, and I would be less willing to sacrifice a lot of that time with my family. As for the brighter side, all three of our children are now married with children of their own. Watching them during our twice-a-year family gatherings, I�ve learned that they are light years ahead of where I was when we first had a family. I did not change many diapers, but all three of the men in our extended family do change a lot of diapers, as well as stay up in the middle of the night when the babies are sick and can�t sleep. I think I would be better at all of this, if I could just have a second chance. I do have one useful tip regarding babies � what to say to the parents of a new one. There�s the little thing, only a few hours old and cuddled in the mother�s arms. What do you say? Well, Dr. James Dobson said that he finally learned the perfect remark from former "Tonight Show" host Johnny Carson, usable whether the baby is very beautiful or looks like it was in a fight somewhere. The visitor looks at mother and child and says, "My, that�s a baby!" Works every time. (Hank Henry is a retired Jackson County commissioner and a former radio and television announcer. Call him at 772-9055.) Mail Tribune Home | Ottaway Newspapers, Inc. | Dow Jones & Co., Inc. | Privacy | Contact Us Copyright � 2000 Mail Tribune, Inc.