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3 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation | Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? e-edition | subscribe | newsletter | deals Home News Latest Stories Matthew T. Mangino: Leniency or smart punishment strategy 10 things to know for Friday Emergency services, March 13 Blooms coming too early for Rogue Valley's bees App Finder: Best outdoors apps Crime, Courts and Emergency Services Matthew T. Mangino: Leniency or smart punishment strategy Emergency services, March 13 Medford Little Feet Children's Shoes burglarized in downtown Emergency services: March 12 Drug search warrant leads to two Medford arrests Politics and Elections Arthur I. Cyr: South Korea represents long-term triumph – for them and for US Special election: Jackson County voters OK marijuana tax Ex-Merkley aide chosen as Oregon secretary of state Ashland: Budget increase, swimming pool funding discussion on council agenda Judge upholds Phoenix's moratorium on medical marijuana dispensaries Education Medford School District calls foul on teachers union Supporters rally to back beleaguered principal St. Mary's reaches out to China Work your body to save your braaaaains Inert grenade spurred White Mountain Middle School evacuation Environment Blooms coming too early for Rogue Valley's bees Low snow closes Mt. Ashland bunny hill chairlift DEQ issues fines over illegal White City dumping site Catastrophic wildfires expected in Southern Oregon this summer The new normal under climate change? State News Lebanon High School sharpshooters aim for national titles Man languishes in Oregon jail, hasn't commit a crime Judge sides with Oregon, sends Oracle case to state court Strippers make case to Oregon legislators for work improvements Brown ends contract with Kitzhaber adviser-business owner Nation - World Obituaries Shiela Marie Death Notices Death Notices Norma Catherine Morgan Marlene Milliron (Smock) Weather Photo Galleries Since You Asked Videos Web Cams Mail Tribune 100 Shareable Bank of America is predicting a massive Tesla collapse Mars One attracts science fiction geeks and people who hate society Sports Latest Stories Tabor upsets No. 10 Raiders in NAIA tourney La Salle ends Crater's championship hopes North Medford topples Klamath Falls for title Duke cruises past N.C. State, 77-53 Irving erupts for 57 in Cavs' triumph Varsity 541 College Sports Tabor upsets No. 10 Raiders in NAIA tourney Duke cruises past N.C. State, 77-53 Ducks get defensive, roll into semifinals West's last-second score gives SOU upset Beavers fall to Buffaloes at Pac-12 tourney Pro Sports Irving erupts for 57 in Cavs' triumph Ferrell bats, fields, coaches in Arizona Allred tied for second with opening 65 Mariota draws scrutiny at Ducks' pro day Eagles land All-Pro running back Murray Community Sports Business Latest Stories East McAndrews Road sees a resurgence in commercial projects Alaska, United Express boost Medford airport to record February Jackson County jobless rate falls to 7.7 percent Blog: Manufacturing leads Oregon's export expansion Disruptive forces: Coming to a business near you Real Estate News East McAndrews Road sees a resurgence in commercial projects Business briefs: March 7 New construction prices jump 18.2 percent in Jackson County People In Business People in Business: Feb. 28 People in Business Transportation Alaska, United Express boost Medford airport to record February CEO Rieder leaving Erickson March 31 Lodging gains bode well for travel industries Agriculture Harry & David announces new president Warm winter has fruit growers poised for action Briefcase: Business briefs for Feb. 21 Opinion Latest Matthew T. Mangino: Leniency or smart punishment strategy Our View: Daylight saving bill another waste of time Letters to the Editor, March 13 Arthur I. Cyr: South Korea represents long-term triumph – for them and for US Our View: Medford native Dave Frohnmayer leaves legacy of distinguished service Editorials Our View: Daylight saving bill another waste of time Our View: Medford native Dave Frohnmayer leaves legacy of distinguished service Our View: Medford council shouldn't over-regulate backyard pot gardens Our View: Atkins a safe choice for secretary of state Our View: Driving voter turnout is no sure thing for Oregon Letters to the Editor Letters to the Editor, March 13 Letters to the Editor, March 12 Letters to the Editor, March 11 Letters to the Editor, March 10 Letters to the Editor, March 9 Columns Arthur I. Cyr: South Korea represents long-term triumph – for them and for US George Will: The Export-Import Bank's tenacious grip Dana Milbank: Republicans set up a breakaway nation Kathleen Parker: Adolescent senators dunking the president Kent Bush: Things will never change unless we change them Guest Opinions Guest Opinion: There is nothing uniform about the Uniform Crime Report GUEST OPINION: Police, community should work to prevent profiling Guest Opinion: Don't overregulate Oregon's hemp industry Guest Opinion: Predatory banking practices bilk citizens Guest Opinion: Is less education the answer? Lifestyle Latest stories Community blog: Denial is Not a River in Egypt Life Lessons and Loves: The year of the stamps — and their many values Religion briefs: Friday, March 13 Fishing Report: Friday, March 13 Looking Up: Amazing age of discovery Food Community blog: Fewer and fewer of us eschew brilliant beets Season Stepp: Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with authentic Irish recipes Page H. Onorato: The 10 commandments for the Southern cook Page H. Onorato: Try out this hot stuff in your kitchen on a cold night Serra storms Seattle Home and Garden Using universal design Dear Monty: Successful rezoning property requires a plan Garden Cameos: Time to give your garden a new look Carol Link: Eradicate weeds completely, use edgers to help keep thrift on slope Paul Rogers: Daylight Saving, full moon hopeful signs for spring Health Community blog: Denial is Not a River in Egypt Health Watch: Living smart to protect your heart Community blog: Can Twentysomething Depression Be�Healed? Dr. Murray Feingold: What’s your excuse for being late? Community blog: The Future is Now Hiking Biking Faith Religion briefs: Friday, March 13 More religion events in the Rogue Valley Religion Briefs Religion briefs, Feb. 27 Religion briefs: Friday, Feb. 20 Milestones and Achievements Exercise helps special-needs kids adjust to airport procedures Engagement: Workman-Wright Anniversary: Hofer Columnist for a Day Rogue Healthy Aging Tempo Latest stories Agave offers gourmet tacos, tamales, ensaladas and more Kites & Crows, Ryan Marchand and Mercy Duo face-off this weekend at Rising Stars music competition in Jacksonville Randall Theatre presents playwright Bernard Slade's comedy Nitty Gritty Dirt Band co-founder John McEuen performs at the Unitarian Fellowship in Ashland Warren G. performs at the Historic Ashland Armory Theater Randall Theatre presents playwright Bernard Slade's comedy Thanks for the Memories presents 'Anastasia' TMTO's 'Bye Bye Birdie' takes flight Brava! Opera presents classic Mozart and Poulenc Review: 'Fingersmith' a twisting thriller with love Music Kites & Crows, Ryan Marchand and Mercy Duo face-off this weekend at Rising Stars music competition in Jacksonville Nitty Gritty Dirt Band co-founder John McEuen performs at the Unitarian Fellowship in Ashland The Farr Side: Madonna — ever the trendsetter Warren G. performs at the Historic Ashland Armory Zepdrix! 'Shook, Rattled and Rolled' Community Events Ashland Independent Film Festival announces this year's lineup OSF Hip-Hop Poetry Open Mic Ashland's First Friday Art Walk showcases new exhibits by regional artists Jesse Lawson and Joe Moxley host 'Barkeeper' Third Fridays showcases local artists Dining Agave offers gourmet tacos, tamales, ensaladas and more Serra storms Seattle Sakura Japanese Sushi Restaurant opens in new location Restaurant Inspections: Sunday, March 1 Great Outdoor Grill offers healthful options Tempo Videos Classifieds Jobs Autos Real Estate FEATURED » Obits Blogs TV Listings Movie Listings Oregon Outdoors Oregon Healthy Living Magazines/Special Sections Business Services NEWS NOW South Medford girls continue to struggle at state tourney ... Tabor upsets No. 10 Raiders in NAIA tourney ... Our View: Daylight saving bill another waste of time ... South Medford girls continue to struggle at state tourney ... Tabor upsets No. 10 Raiders in NAIA tourney ... Our View: Daylight saving bill another waste of time ... Lost in Suburbia: Fifty shades of dirty dog By Tracy Beckerman More Content Now MailTribune.com By Tracy Beckerman More Content Now Posted Mar. 11, 2015 @ 12:01 am By Tracy Beckerman More Content Now Posted Mar. 11, 2015 @ 12:01 am » Social News p bs:newslist StartDate="20121121" EndDate="p bs:datecalc Months="3"" DateSort="1" UseObjects="1" ObjectClass="81" Taxonomywords="2325,665" ExactTaxonomyMatch="1" Image="1" Count="4" --> The dog smelled bad. Not merely dirty doggie bad. But smelled-like-he-rolled-in-dead-things bad. It was the kind of smell that singed your eyes and made you wish for a head cold. Or a Hazmat suit. It had been a year since he smelled this nasty and I had forgotten that this was a seasonal issue. There were things in the backyard that had long since died, then decomposed under the ice and snow for six months until they reached optimum decay, only to be discovered by the dog when the spring thaw began. Then of course there was the mud. Mud that has been sitting under snow for six months tends to get a really nice, pungent, swampy scent that is like a combination of slimy frog, rotten plant life, and dead fish. Since we live nowhere near a swamp, I have no idea why this would be the case, but nevertheless it does, and the dog loves rolling in this, too. When you combined the dead thing scent with the putrefied mud and rolled it all into dog, you got a smell that was so powerful, if harnessed and converted to energy, it could likely power the world for the next millennium … if the smell didn’t kill everyone first. There was no question the dog needed a bath - or maybe a week in a NASA decontamination unit – but the question was, who was going to do the dirty deed. I was pretty sure it was beyond my humble bathing capabilities, or anyone else in my family. This was a job for a professional. But it must have been a big week for smelly dogs because I tried several groomers with no luck. The earliest appointment I could get was in a week and I was certain that if we waited that long, our house would melt from the fumes. Not wanting to give him any more time to ferment, I decided I would take one for the team and wash the dog. I ran out and got this special dog shampoo for really, really dirty dogs that roll in mud and dead things (yes, there is such a product) and hauled him into the bath. The first shampoo took off the mud. The second shampoo took off the dead things. The third shampoo took off another layer of something leftover from Halloween. By his fourth shampoo the water finally ran clear and there was nothing left but dog. Surprisingly, he was actually smaller and whiter than I had remembered. The good news was, the dog was finally clean. However the bathtub and the bathroom looked like the aftermath of a mud wrestling competition. So next I cleaned the bathroom, and then all the towels I had used to clean the dog AND the bathroom. Four hours later, just as I put the last load of towels in the dryer, my husband walked in the door. “I washed the dog,” I announced. “Doesn’t it smell better in here?” He sniffed and then wrinkled his nose. “No,” he stated. “What do you mean?” I demanded. “The dog smells great!” “Yeah,” he said. “But now you need a bath.” Become a fan of Lost in Suburbia on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/LostinSuburbiaFanPage. By Tracy Beckerman More Content Now MailTribune.com By Tracy Beckerman More Content Now Posted Mar. 11, 2015 @ 12:01 am » Comment or view comments /* $( document ).ready(function() { // Jquery mobile is trying to style the button and leaving a blank gry button on top of a white button $("#viafouracoms .vf-comment-controls li.vf-right").html(' Submit '); });*/ » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. calendar Connect with MailTribune.com Facebook Twitter RSS Back to top Reader Services Reader Services Home Subscriptions Subscriber controls Contact us Submissions Photos Events Letters to the editor Corrections Announcements Obituaries Story ideas Since you asked Alerts Email Alerts RSS Feeds Text Alerts Advertise Media Kit Home Products and services Ad rates Advertising contacts Mail Tribune Daily Tidings The Nickel Shop Our Valley Blogs Stay Informed Email newsletter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. 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