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Take delight in lightening up By Sharon Johnson Dec 04, 2022 12:30 AM A A I’ve been told I have “no sense of humor.” I don’t think that’s true. I am Norwegian, however, and Scandinavians can be a somber lot. My brother, who speaks Norwegian and visits Norway, suggests it has something to do with our Viking heritage. I counter with “What about all those Ole and Lena jokes?” There’s actually a book titled “Scandinavian Humor and Other Myths.” I plan to order it, read it and then give it to my brother for Christmas. There’s a used copy on Amazon for $10.87 “in good condition” although “the bottom left corner of the item has a pea-sized light-brown stain.” It looks like there’s another copy for only $1.97, with no mention of a stain. As I age, I find I have an increased interest in humor or, better stated, in “lightening up.” I always look to experts when I ponder a life change, and Naomi Bagdonas, a well-regarded humor lecturer at the Stanford Graduate School of Business, says lightening up can be learned. “Levity is a mindset. It’s looking for reasons to be delighted rather than disappointed in the world around you.” All the experts say: “Levity is essential to well-being.” But those same experts suggest humor and levity are related — but different. Humor is more visible. It’s out there in the public square for all to see. A well-told joke or a bawdy story is typically met with broad smiles and outright guffawing. Maybe there’s an occasional chortle. It always feels like the person eliciting those reactions has a combination of quick wit and natural charisma. Levity, however, is centered around “a sense of lightness” and involves “not taking things too seriously.” I find when I hang out with people who make me laugh, people who make me happy, I am … happier. Whatever their humor style, “bold and irreverent” or “expressive and charismatic, “I am uplifted by their take on life. Whether I find these folks are my next-door neighbors or on a television sitcom, I plan to see more of them. And as I move into this next phase of my life, I will look for “what’s the tiniest bit amusing,” as suggested in a New York Times article by Carolyn Todd. One illustration: When you pass a dog park, note it resembles “a canine singles bar.” Start with what’s true and find quirky delight in it. Yesterday, for example, instead of berating myself for the decision to have a big piece of leftover pumpkin pie for breakfast, I sculpted the whipped topping into a smiley face and put a dollop of whipped cream on the nearby dog’s nose. She, of course, was delighted. I think she actually smiled. One more thought — it’s about something called “the benign violation” theory of humor. The best description of that is: “If something goes wrong, take it lightly.” Personal example: While awaiting a Zoom call yesterday morning, I forgot to black out the screen and mute the sound, and a lot of people I do not know observed my pie-eating/dog-treating breakfast moment. I think it made what was destined to be a difficult conversation easier. We all lightened up a bit. It ended well. Sharon Johnson is a retired educator. Reach her at [email protected]