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Southern Oregon Journal: Checking my shadow on Groundhog Day Sunday Jan 29, 2017 at 12:01 AM By Peggy Dover for the Mail Tribune With Groundhog Day, or as the French like to say, Jour de la Marmotte, nibbling at our heels, sounds of neighborhood festivities float out over the fog, lending an air of optimism. Ever an exciting time of year, I hope to drape my gables with dim, shadow-inhibiting lighting and pull out the Punxsutawney Phil cutouts to adorn my tree. Along with Philip and groundhogs everywhere, I’ll remember to rise and cast a glance at my own shadow. I’m pretty sure if I emerged from my burrow tomorrow, I would be alarmed at the behemoth of shadow before me and crawl back inside, thereby incurring six more weeks of Hallmark holiday movies. My current shadow would be hard to miss, with or without sun. I couldn’t miss it if I turned sideways and hid behind Dairy Queen. The furtive rodent celebration snuck up on me again this year and caught me in the middle of a bag of pistachios. My post-season weight loss diet is past due. There is apparently one diet plan of which I was not aware. I’m relieved because none of the other 42 diet plans advertised would work, I’m sure. Earlier today when I texted a happy birthday message to Cousin Randy in Bend, I mentioned cake in there somewhere. He told me that cake was not on his Lose It! diet plan. This one is an app that sounds simple and foolproof. That’s good for me, because simply cutting back doesn’t work. I start by slicing way back on say, okra. But soon I’m increasing my intake of maple bars little by little. The things I love slowly retake the throne. But with Lose It!, you simply plug in how many pounds you want to lose and let your phone take it from there. It helps you set a daily calorie budget, track your calorie count and exercise level. I would prefer an app to reach out and slap me when I reach for a bag of chips. The other feature, which I found slightly horrifying, is that they hook you up to a grid of sorts. These are like-minded app users to whom you are accountable. It’s bad enough to look myself in the mirror after chowing down on cold pizza, let alone having others testify to the spectacle. My cat doesn’t help. He eats and sleeps all day and never gains an ounce. Oliver also sits in front of me, watching me chew. I imagine him thinking, “Look, you don’t need that pasta, you tub. My metabolism can handle it. I will take care of it for you.” I did move in the right direction the other day though, when I bought a 64-ounce water jug. That’s how much water I’m supposed to drink every day. Do people do this? I got it home, filled it up and sliced some cucumber in there for zip. That jug stayed half full no matter how many times I refilled my glass! I mean, I may as well install a watering tank for livestock in my kitchen because I could no more empty it than this new jug. Plus, there are the obvious consequences of downing so much liquid all day long. I also enjoy tea and coffee. I may as well sell my home and invest in one of those tiny houses so I’m never farther than two steps from the facilities. There is hope for my weight loss and fitness goals, however, mostly because I exaggerate. Statements in this article are smaller than they appear. I got vicariously depressed for Cousin Randy when he said he was to have no birthday cake. I had enjoyed some with raspberry gelato for my own celebration last Monday (thank you, Lane) and couldn’t imagine any kind of celebration without a validating cake. So, after consuming the traditional pound cake for Groundhog Day, I will be good until Valentine’s Day. And my phone will never know. — Peggy Dover is a freelance writer living in Eagle Point. Email her at [email protected].