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Sections Home Page Local News AP News Archives Business Classifieds Event Calendar Forums Life Opinion Obituaries Photo Gallery Since We Asked Sports Tempo Weather Special Coverage 2006 Britt Festivals --> Shop Our Valley AutoFinder HomeFinder JobFinder Search Our Valley Special Sections Homelife Magazine Joy Magazine Readers Choice 2006 Oregon Golf Info Oregon Wine Info Our Valley Other Publications Local Links Ashland News eSouthernOregon Newspapers In Education Personals Moving Here Movie Listings TV Listings Volunteer Customer Service Advertise With Us Media Kit Place Classified Ad Contact Us FAQ's Home Delivery Site Map --> Email Story to a Friend August 12, 2006 TribKids Yuk it up! ;-P Teacher: I was very pleased to give you an 85 on the test. Student: Why don't you give me 100 and really enjoy yourself? Jane: I know someone who is 39 and still in the fourth grade. Billy: That's impossible! Advertisement Jane: It's true! He's my teacher. Why was it so hot after the baseball games? All the fans left. How does SpongeBob SquarePants begin a bedtime story for his pet snail, Gary? "Once upon a slime ..." You are what you ATE ... If the old saying "You are what you eat" is really true, then Americans are half-ton balls of popcorn, candy, meat, fish, chicken, fruit, vegetables and pizzas. Would you believe that the average family of four consumes 6,000 pounds of food a year? That's what a recent survey found. Here's how many pounds of each type of food the average U.S. resident eats in a year: 428 — Vegetables 279 — Fruit 200 — Grain (cereal, breads) 113 — Red meat (including hamburger, steak) 67 — Poultry (chicken, turkey) 30 — Cheese 28 — Ice cream (and other frozen dairy products) 25 — Candy 23 — Pizza (46 slices!) 15 — Fish Other stuff we ate: 250 eggs, 23 gallons of milk and 54 quarts of popcorn. You can make ... CHOCOLATE CRACKERS GET THIS STUFF: 1 (12-ounce) package semisweet or milk chocolate chips 1 tablespoon vegetable shortening; About 40 Town House- or Ritz-type butter-flavored crackers DO THIS WITH IT: 1. In a microwave-safe bowl, microwave chocolate chips and vegetable shortening on high for 1 minute; stir. Continue heating 30 seconds at a time, stirring after each heating, until chips are melted and mixture is smooth. 2. Gently drop crackers into chocolate one at a time. Using tongs, dip crackers into chocolate until covered and lightly tap excess chocolate off on edge of bowl. Place crackers on baking sheets lined with wax paper. (Note: If chocolate thickens, reheat in microwave for 10 to 20 seconds.) 3. Refrigerate crackers for 10 minutes, or until chocolate has hardened. Makes 40 snacks. -- From wire services Mail Tribune Home | Local News | Sports | Business | Obituaries | Life | Opinion AP News | Archives | Site Map | Community | Classified Copyright © 1997-2006 Mail Tribune, Inc. All rights reserved. Privacy Policy | Terms & Conditions | Website Feedback online casinos news Home Security Systems California Casinos Men's Clothing Southern Oregon Loans --> GMAT Prep Fundraisers Send Flowers Entertainment Guide --> Casinos Canada Trunks, Footlocker Online Casino Reviews Advertisement s Advertisement