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3 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation | Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? e-edition | subscribe | newsletter | deals Home News Latest Stories Mentally ill man dies in volley of gunfire with Medford police VIDEO: Shots fired in west Medford standoff with police 10 things to know for Tuesday Southern Oregon University's building boom adds up to $130 million South Medford, Ashland, St. Mary's students building video game Crime, Courts and Emergency Services Mentally ill man dies in volley of gunfire with Medford police VIDEO: Shots fired in west Medford standoff with police Emergency Services, March 17 One-time 'person of interest' in Grubbs case sentenced on bank robberies Medford teen sentenced to 7 years for pistol-whipping another teen over a girl Politics and Elections Arthur I. Cyr: South Korea represents long-term triumph – for them and for US Special election: Jackson County voters OK marijuana tax Ex-Merkley aide chosen as Oregon secretary of state Ashland: Budget increase, swimming pool funding discussion on council agenda Judge upholds Phoenix's moratorium on medical marijuana dispensaries Education Southern Oregon University's building boom adds up to $130 million South Medford, Ashland, St. Mary's students building video game Ashland High principal receives national award Work your body to save your braaaaains St. Mary's School buys campus from parish for $6.5 million Environment Herptilian haven Proposed new rules for Oregon critter catchers would require the killing of nuisance animals Jacksonville requests extension on reservoir dam-notching permit Blooms coming too early for Rogue Valley's bees Low snow closes Mt. Ashland bunny hill chairlift State News HIllsboro jail worker sentenced to four years for inmate liaisons Portland man sentenced to 6 months for aiming lasers at planes Oregon is first state to adopt automatic voter registration At Dorchester Conference, Oregon Republicans look past a bruising election Curry County commissioner's decision to opt out of insurance causes clamor Nation - World Obituaries Geneva Rosel Canty Shiela R. Ettlich Karen June Shaw Keo Jean Sedenius Death Notices Weather Photo Galleries Since You Asked Videos Web Cams Mail Tribune 100 Shareable Bank of America is predicting a massive Tesla collapse Mars One attracts science fiction geeks and people who hate society Sports Latest Stories Crater falls short in softball season opener Wade leads Heat win over Cavs OSU to serve as NCAA tourney host Blazers' rally falls short RESULTS / STANDINGS Varsity 541 College Sports OSU to serve as NCAA tourney host Familiar tourney foes in line for Ducks LIVE blog of the NCAA Tournament selection show Tourney filled with great story lines Cowboy Up Pro Sports Wade leads Heat win over Cavs Blazers' rally falls short Spartans’ season comes to end Aldridge scores 24 points, Blazers beat Raptors Spieth proves clutch at Valspar Community Sports Business Latest Stories Test Drive: 2015 Subaru Outback Limited Silvio Calabi: 2015 Cherokee is a modern Jeep Oregon winemaking emerges as mighty agricultural force Rogue Disposal plans natural gas fueling site Blog: Are You Superstitious? Real Estate News East McAndrews Road sees a resurgence in commercial projects Business briefs: March 7 New construction prices jump 18.2 percent in Jackson County People In Business People in Business: Feb. 28 People in Business Transportation Rogue Disposal plans natural gas fueling site Alaska, United Express boost Medford airport to record February CEO Rieder leaving Erickson March 31 Lodging gains bode well for travel industries Agriculture Harry & David announces new president Warm winter has fruit growers poised for action Briefcase: Business briefs for Feb. 21 Opinion Latest Landgren cartoon: Sunshine Week Michael Gerson: Tom Cotton letter to Iran: The roughest of drafts Letters to the Editor, March 17 Granlund cartoon: March madness and other madness Letters to the Editor, March 16 Editorials Our View: Keeping the light trained on government Other Views: State must rein in medical marijuana Our View: Daylight saving bill another waste of time Our View: Medford native Dave Frohnmayer leaves legacy of distinguished service Our View: Medford council shouldn't over-regulate backyard pot gardens Letters to the Editor Letters to the Editor, March 17 Letters to the Editor, March 16 Letters to the Editor, March 15 Letters to the Editor, March 14 Letters to the Editor, March 13 Columns Michael Gerson: Tom Cotton letter to Iran: The roughest of drafts Guest Opinion: Central Point Cemetery needs work and city action Charles Krauthammer: Early Onset Clinton Fatigue George Will: The prescience of Daniel Patrick Moynihan Dana Milbank: Jason Rezaian's detention a tragedy for Iran Guest Opinions Guest Opinion: Central Point Cemetery needs work and city action Guest Opinion: Return to clearcutting is wrong approach for counties Guest Opinion: Plan a Hawthorne playground for all children Guest Opinion: There is nothing uniform about the Uniform Crime Report GUEST OPINION: Police, community should work to prevent profiling Lifestyle Latest stories Blog: The prodigal Watterson Pam Stone: No binge benefits from ‘healthy’ snacks Garden Cameos: Now is the perfect time to spot wildflowers Paul Rogers: It’s time to assess the damage to yards Season Stepp: Tips to spice up your tacos Food Season Stepp: Tips to spice up your tacos Food for Thought: Where to splurge and save at the grocery store Prudence Hilburn: Loaded potatoes, Buffalo chicken call for Candied Bacon Bites for dessert Community blog: Top toast with smashing beet, cheese spread Gail Ciampa: Colcannon Soup with Parsley Pesto is a vegetarian alternative for St. Patrick’s Day Home and Garden Garden Cameos: Now is the perfect time to spot wildflowers Paul Rogers: It’s time to assess the damage to yards Home Help: This top garage trend keeps gaining momentum The delightful work of flowers Using universal design Health Community blog: Denial is Not a River in Egypt Health Watch: Living smart to protect your heart Community blog: Can Twentysomething Depression Be�Healed? Dr. Murray Feingold: What’s your excuse for being late? Community blog: The Future is Now Hiking Biking Faith Religion briefs: Friday, March 13 More religion events in the Rogue Valley Religion Briefs Religion briefs, Feb. 27 Religion briefs: Friday, Feb. 20 Milestones and Achievements Haga-Parks Exercise helps special-needs kids adjust to airport procedures Engagement: Workman-Wright Anniversary: Hofer Columnist for a Day Rogue Healthy Aging Tempo Latest stories Review: 'Same Time' after all these years Kites & Crows, Ryan Marchand and Mercy Duo face-off this weekend at Rising Stars music competition in Jacksonville City-rock band Shotgun Wedding performs at the Craterian Theater in Medford Randall Theatre presents playwright Bernard Slade's comedy Nitty Gritty Dirt Band co-founder John McEuen performs at the Unitarian Fellowship in Ashland Theater Review: Thanks for the Memories pulls off challenging 'Anastasia' Review: 'Same Time' after all these years Randall Theatre presents playwright Bernard Slade's comedy Thanks for the Memories presents 'Anastasia' TMTO's 'Bye Bye Birdie' takes flight Music Kites & Crows, Ryan Marchand and Mercy Duo face-off this weekend at Rising Stars music competition in Jacksonville Rogue Valley Chorale presents 'A Festival of Choirs' at the Craterian Theatre SOU's Chamber and Concert choirs present 'Songs of Passion' City-rock band Shotgun Wedding performs at the Craterian Theater in Medford Live Music in Local Clubs Community Events Ashland Independent Film Festival announces this year's lineup OSF Hip-Hop Poetry Open Mic Ashland's First Friday Art Walk showcases new exhibits by regional artists Jesse Lawson and Joe Moxley host 'Barkeeper' Third Fridays showcases local artists Dining Restaurant Inspections Agave offers gourmet tacos, tamales, ensaladas and more Serra storms Seattle Sakura Japanese Sushi Restaurant opens in new location Restaurant Inspections: Sunday, March 1 Tempo Videos Classifieds Jobs Autos Real Estate FEATURED » Obits Blogs TV Listings Movie Listings Oregon Outdoors Oregon Healthy Living Magazines/Special Sections Business Services NEWS NOW Mentally ill man dies in volley of gunfire with Medford police ... VIDEO: Shots fired in west Medford standoff with police ... Southern Oregon University's building boom adds up to $130 million ... Mentally ill man dies in volley of gunfire with Medford police ... VIDEO: Shots fired in west Medford standoff with police ... Southern Oregon University's building boom adds up to $130 million ... It Is What It Is: My idea of the perfect home Comment By Lisa Sugarman More Content Now MailTribune.com By Lisa Sugarman More Content Now Posted Mar. 16, 2015 at 8:58 AM By Lisa Sugarman More Content Now Posted Mar. 16, 2015 at 8:58 AM » Social News Now it’s possible that what I’m about to say could sound weird to you. Then again, it may remind you of your own childhood and the dumb things we used to fantasize about as kids. Either way, at the very least, I’m hoping you’ll be entertained. So when I was a little girl, I used to dream about what it would be like to live in a department store. Full time: 365. And while I know it’s kind of an odd concept, I have a feeling more people than are willing to admit have imagined the same thing. In my case, it probably stemmed from reading Don Freeman’s children’s book “Corduroy,” so many times when I was a kid. You know, the story about the little toy bear named Corduroy who lived on the shelf at a department store who wandered the floors at night looking for his missing button. Always was one of my favorites. The thing is, as I’m sure you’ve learned too, once we grow up, our adult brains start processing through all the stupid stuff we believed when we were kids, and we realize that most of the brilliant ideas we had as young people just aren’t feasible. In other words, we realize that we really were a bunch of idiots. And in my case, it didn’t take me long to realize that living in Jordan Marsh was a fundamentally flawed idea from inception. Sure, they had bathrooms, so that took care of one critical human need, and water bubblers so you could stay hydrated, but after that, my plan fell short. Very short. Like once the vending machines in the staff lounge were tapped, I’d be dead in less than a week. Terrible plan. It’s funny, though, how history tends to repeat itself so organically generation after generation. Just the other day, during a quick trip to Target, my 14-year-old daughter blurted out how Target would be the perfect home. Never knowing, mind you, that I had already pioneered the concept of department-store living back in the early ’70s. So I of course was like, “Oh my God! I totally used to wish I could do that!” To which Libby rolled her eyes and said it wouldn’t’ve been possible back then because superstores like Target, with every department imaginable, didn’t exist. (Hate when my kid out-thinks me. It’s irritating.) But in her case, her master plan showed far more advanced intelligence than mine. She accounted for things that, at the age of 14, would never have crossed my mind. Everything from home furnishings and electronics to food and clothes and every nuance in between. Kid’s got game. Granted, you probably couldn’t make this theory work in a traditional Target store because they lack some of the key elements for survival, like a pharmacy, a health clinic, a Starbucks, and a full grocery line. But she had accounted for that. Just walk into any one of the 239 SuperTarget stores, she said, and you could probably live a very fulfilling life if you never left the store again. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that she may, in fact, have actually figured out a way to make my dream a reality. Because as long as you took enough vitamin D supplements to avoid getting rickets, you could probably manage just fine. According to Libby, you’ve got a totally secure, climate-controlled environment, complete with everything a person would theoretically need to live. Theoretically. You’d have food, clothing and jewelry (for those special occasions when upper management came to do audits). You’d have a full electronics department, free Wi-Fi and Starbucks, so you’d be fully caffeinated and hardwired with the outside world. And, assuming you opened the doors every day and allowed people to either visit or shop, depending on your preference, you’d never be lonely. You’d also have a full health clinic on hand, just in case you hooked up with one of the electronics department guys and got pregnant. At which point he’d probably do the right thing and hit the jewelry department and pick you up and engagement ring. Then you could have the wedding in the lawn and garden department, after which you’d get the photos developed in their one-hour photo processing lab, and then, once the little bundle of joy came, you could have carte blanche in the baby section. And to work off your baby weight, you could spend your mornings in the sports and fitness department, hitting the health and beauty aisle to clean up after your kettlebell workout. Then, after you put the baby down for his nap, you could spend your nights reading all the classics and binge watching all five seasons of “Breaking Bad.” And should your little one start projectile vomiting during Season 3, you could quickly and easily scoot over to the health clinic, see a doctor, get a prescription and get it filled at the pharmacy. After which, you could shoot over to the toy department to buy the little fella a treat for being such a trooper with the doctor. See, happily ever after. A flawless plan. So unless I’m missing something, and I don’t think I am, Target may well be the perfect home. Now I just have to figure out how to break it to Dave and the girls that we’re moving... Lisa Sugarman lives in Marblehead, Massachusetts. Read and discuss all her columns at itiswhatitiscolumn.wordpress.com. She is also the author of “LIFE: It Is What It Is,” available on Amazon.com, at Whole Foods and at select booksellers. By Lisa Sugarman More Content Now MailTribune.com By Lisa Sugarman More Content Now Posted Mar. 16, 2015 at 8:58 AM » Comment or view comments Reader Reaction » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. calendar Connect with MailTribune.com Facebook Twitter RSS Back to top Reader Services Reader Services Home Subscriptions Subscriber controls Contact us Submissions Photos Events Letters to the editor Corrections Announcements Obituaries Story ideas Since you asked Alerts Email Alerts RSS Feeds Text Alerts Advertise Media Kit Home Products and services Ad rates Advertising contacts Mail Tribune Daily Tidings The Nickel Shop Our Valley Blogs Stay Informed Email newsletter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. Your privacy is important, read our privacy policy. © Copyright 2015 Local Media Group, Inc. 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