Document text
http://www.omniture.com --> Oregon Road Conditions & Cams Advertisement Email Story to a Friend May 23, 2006 SOU class explores psychology of love By john darling for the Mail Tribune It resembles more a support group than an upper-level university course: There are tears, hugs, stories of pain, loss and joy. But a "Love Class" at Southern Oregon University's Medford Campus is teaching future psychologists how to build connections with their clients by first building connections with each other. Taught by Ashland resident Zan Nix, who has a doctorate in spirituality, the Psychology 399 class is based on the teachings of the late Leo Buscaglia 1924-1998, a noted psychologist and author who taught at the University of Southern California. Among his bestselling books are "Love" and "Living, Loving, Learning." "It's a very important class. Psychology is all about humor, emotions and behavior and nothing is stronger than love in that spectrum," says SOU psychology chairwoman Lani Fujitsubo. "Psychology can be dry and seem irrelevant. Love, as psychology, is best learned, not as theory-based, but in a personal way — and Buscaglia was able to get this across. He added a lot to psychology about people's need to love and relate." Nix has set up a laboratory of sorts in which her 30 students practice love by telling their life stories, being honest, trusting each other, learning to listen and supporting their classmates. Says student Libby Peachey of Ashland, "I've never felt such a strong support system with perfect strangers, sharing intimate details of our lives." Class members often mention the near universal "yearning for connection" among people and a desire to end isolation — to throw off the notion of having to get by on your own without seeming to be needy. "I have a voice here, it's no longer a secret and I can see that speaking my experience changes things for others," says Melissa Subia of Medford, amid tears. "I don't have to put on my pretty little face and cute bow in my hair and pretend everything is perfect. I've done a good job with that for a long time. I know it's OK now not to be perfect." Steve Thomas of Ashland adds, "If one person exposes herself, it gives freedom for others to open and recognize we all have stuff we keep from the world. Here, I can be spontaneous, not judging, and take off the mask." Many women in the "Love Class" it's 80 percent female speak of being wounded or abandoned in the past by men. They say this is their first experience of speaking and showing feelings in front of males. "To me, guys have been really bad," says Linda Cecil of Grants Pass. "My past has been really bad. I'm seeing guys here with a gentle side. Brian and Bart classmates are the first guys I've let hug me and let into my space." As the class works to educate students on "emotional intelligence," it covers love from all angles — love for pets, one's hobby, partner, children, the elderly and lonely. During a recent class students shared stories of their love for friends. A friend, says Mara Lee of Ashland, has a way of never letting you down, competing with you or judging you but also "never letting you get away with anything." Carrie Benson of Medford said her friendship with a school pal became sorely tested when the friend came out as a lesbian and Benson judged her. "But then, over time, I opened up to accept her and know how much I love her." Shannon Kelly of Medford was "ready to pack it in" when two friends were there for her, giving her the space to cry and scream, she says, and have the experience of being vulnerable, "something I was taught not to be." University courses all demand a foundation in research, results and quantifiable bodies of knowledge. Nix uses Buscaglia's books as texts and requires term papers. "There's a strong message in education that it has to be intellectual and emphasize the mind — but the mind must not be disconnected from the heart," says Nix, adding that recent research shows that organizations, businesses and individuals do better when schooled in emotional intelligence. "It's not one or the other. You need both," she says. "My sense is that a safe place has been created to laugh, cry, connect and tell their stories in ways that some have never had. There's something about this class that is intersecting with a cultural need, like a 'humanity check,' a time to slow down the mind and check into the heart, with others." John Darling is a freelance writer living in Ashland. E-mail him at [email protected]. Advertisement s Mail Tribune Home | Local News | Sports | Business | Obituaries | Life | Opinion AP News | Archives | Site Map | Community | Classified Copyright © 1997-2006 Mail Tribune, Inc. All rights reserved. Privacy Policy | Terms & Conditions | Website Feedback www.bingo.com Home Security Systems Trunks, Footlocker Custom Build Computers Discount Hotel Reservations online casinos news Ashley Furniture HomeStore Send Flowers Southern Oregon Loans California Casinos GMAT Prep Windermere Van Vleet Sports Equipment Online Casino Reviews Online Bingo Entertainment Guide Online Casino Fundraisers Sudoku Online Casinos Canada Online Pharmacy