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Ground Zero visit offers focus for grief Sister-in-law of fireman killed Sept. 11 says his Seiad Valley relatives are a long way from closure By BILL VARBLE Mail Tribune Barbara Geidel wonders when the healing will start. It hasn't started yet. She knew that the day she was in the kitchen of her Seiad Valley, Calif., home and she heard her brother-in-law's voice on television. It was on an episode of the reality-based show "The Bravest." The voice shot through her. Her brother-in-law, Gary Geidel, was among the New York City firefighters lost Sept. 11 when he rushed into the World Trade Center to rescue people. The show was shot in July but delayed after the events of Sept. 11. Barbara later got copies of the tape from Hearst Entertainment, which made the show, to share with Gary's family. "Every one of the guys with Gary on that show were lost," she says. Barbara's husband, Ralph - a Fire Department of New York Rescue One veteran along with his father and his brothers - joined firefighters at Ground Zero to dig through the rubble after the terrorist attacks. Ralph got a flight from Medford with the aid of a White House staffer after planes had been grounded. Barbara Geidel later joined her husband and his family for 10 days, then came home to remote Northern California. She says Ralph is finally en route home, too. After several weeks at Ground Zero, he spent a few weeks helping his brother's wife with paperwork and visiting family members and old friends, many of whom lost loved ones Sept. 11. There's still been no funeral for Ralph's brother Gary. "His wife isn't ready for that," Barbara Geidel says. "She just went to the site for the first time two weeks ago. Up to then she would not look at TV news or the newspaper. She finally went and realized why everybody was having a hard time with her denial." Ralph Geidel hails from the Totenville neighborhood of Staten Island. He is a former U.S. Marine who served with Rescue One until a knee injury ended his career. The Geidels' niece, Gary's daughter, Tillie, just turned 7. "She is such a brave little girl," Barbara Geidel says. "She's getting counseling at school. She knows daddy is not coming home. She knew his job was dangerous. He talked to her about the possibility that he might one day not come home." At the memorial service for victims of the attack held Oct. 28 by New York City, Geidel saw people faint, even though the worst damage wasn't visible from the site of the service. "It was cool, windy and sunny," she says. "There were a lot of tears. It was pretty emotional. They gave out urns with World Trade Center soil and dust." She says firefighters were extremely upset when New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani cut the number of firefighters permitted on the WTC site to 25. He later increased the number to 50 after outraged firefighters fought on the site with New York City cops. "I was so angry at him," she says. "People on the floors above were burned. When those floors collapsed, people were pulverized. When you stand there in that fine powder, there are human remains in there." Ralph Geidel, an amateur artist, expressed his anger by drawing a cartoon. The image is that of the skeletal remains of a Rescue One firefighter, hauled off to the dump in Staten Island. "Don't scoop them up and send them to the dump," Barbara says. She says she doesn't know when the healing will begin, much less when things will be OK. "That's going to be hard," she says. "Maybe when we find Gary. The end of the story seems to be a long way off." Reach reporter Bill Varble at 776-4478 or e-mail [email protected] Mail Tribune Home | Ottaway Newspapers, Inc. | Dow Jones & Co., Inc. | Privacy | Contact Us Copyright � 2001 Mail Tribune, Inc.