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0 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation | Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? e-edition | subscribe | newsletter | deals Home News Latest Stories 'One spark of enthusiasm' has ignited town's can-do attitude Emergency services Since You Asked: You got pups? We got paper Mail Tribune 100 Get Up & Go: Nov. 29 Crime, Courts and Emergency Services Emergency services Wrap Up, Nov. 28 Former Central Point residents accused of abusing their adopted children Homemade bomb found inside stolen car after arrest of fleeing transient Police gain a clue in pumpkin smashing spree Politics and Elections Buckley again named Ways and Means Committee co-chairman Latest count shows Measure 92 supporters narrowing deficit Granlund cartoon: GOP wrecking balls Ballot measures played little role in mobilizing voters in state Senate race 'Euphoria' over pot initiative Education Homelessness is growing problem for Medford students Les AuCoin recommended for SOU board Good news for SOU: Enrollment's up Mom gives school lobby a makeover Crater students present play about Thoreau's night in jail Environment Hawks use I-5 as hunting ground Curbing urban runoff in Gold Hill Mt. View Estates' fill, riprap work lacked county permit Birders sought for bird counts Grow 'em before you plant 'em State News Bill would tighten limits on license plate readers UO teaching assistants prepared to strike Growers cheer higher Christmas tree prices Police dog fired for poor performance Turkey's great escape foils Thanksgiving plans Nation - World Grand jury won't indict Ferguson cop in shooting Obituaries Earle Morgan Swift Jr. Death Notices Lue K. 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Asante expands cardiac center Jackson County sees workforce and job growth Regional hotels and motels outperformed statewide marks in October Incorrect labeling prompts Kroger ice cream recall Real Estate News Dear Monty: Violation of HOA rules creates conflict Farmers file suit over GMO crop ban Financial webinars offered for veterans and their families Home prices rise across Jackson County People In Business People in Business, Nov. 18 People in Business, Nov. 8 Transportation Allegiant Air will resume Medford-Phoenix service May 22 Medford airport passenger counts sky high in October Erickson reports third quarter profit Agriculture Farmers file suit over GMO crop ban Lawsuit seeks to overturn Jackson County's GMO ban or net $4.2 million for farms Latest count shows Measure 92 supporters narrowing deficit Opinion Latest Other Views: Klamath Basin agreement deserves approval Granlund cartoon: Holiday boxes Kent Bush: Ferguson case shows racism belief system still reinforced Maddocks: Republicans claim president overstepped his constitutional powers in pardoning turkeys Amy Gehrt: Justice is not color-blind Editorials Other Views: Klamath Basin agreement deserves approval Our View: Cheers (too thankful for a jeer this week) Our View: Day of abundance, season of sharing Another View: Logging still has a place in Oregon Our View: Lawsuit reopens the GMO debate Letters to the Editor Letters to the Editor, Nov. 28 Letters to the Editor, Nov. 27 Letters to the Editor, Nov. 26 Letters to the Editor, Nov. 24 Letters to the Editor, Nov. 23 Guest Opinions Guest Opinion: Are we the preferred path to global devastation? Guest Opinion: Fight for the rights of independent voters will continue Guest Opinion: 'Natural' not necessarily better for forest management Guest Opinion: County voters rebuffed judicial appointment process Fix health care reform, don't scrap it Lifestyle Latest stories Barry Lewis: When in America, do as the Romans do Frank Talk: It was all just a dream Facing Extinction Looking Up: Orion, a starry friend, returns Fishing through readers' stream of consciousness Food Community blog: In soup or salad, savor pumpkin with leeks Be a gravy-making star on Thanksgiving Food for Thought: Add new twists on Thanksgiving favorites Community blog: Feast on this blog's Thanksgiving recipes, tips Kitchen Call: Both sides of the kiddie table Home and Garden 9 ways to green your gift wrap Dear Monty: How to find a good real estate attorney Home Help: Quick tips for getting your home ready for the holidays Mortgage insurance: Your questions answered Home Help: Spruce up your home with quick DIY painting projects Health Health Watch: Fuel up on carbs before workouts Health insurance enrollment help available Community blog: Appreciating Clouds: Year-Round Gratitude Community blog: A Little Toilet Talk 'Tis the season to be jolly Hiking Biking Faith Religion news: Pope aims to expedite sex abuse rulings Religion news: Seattle-based mega-church dissolves Religion Briefs 'Walk the talk' Religion briefs Milestones and Achievements ACCESS receives $50,000 donation from Wells Fargo Wedding: Rogers-Horn Century Club Wedding: Tomlinson-Nowak Local farmers need more products in grocery stores Columnist for a Day Rogue Healthy Aging Tempo Latest stories Brunch at Loft Brasserie 2014 Providence Festival of Trees A grand illumination at the Commons Lighting up memories Jacksonville's Victorian Christmas Theater OCT's holiday show is a wonderful play New 'Alice' has some for kids ... and adults 'It's a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play' opens at Oregon Cabaret Theatre 'Red Noses' a romp through slapstick and pathos SOU presents 'The Drunken City' Music Shae Johnson releases 'Can You Feel the Music' Jeff Kloetzel releases 'Long Time Coming' A new guitar slinger in town Peter Chianca: Top 40 songs even a dad could love The Farr Side: Different artists, common songs Community Events 2014 Providence Festival of Trees A grand illumination at the Commons Lighting up memories Jacksonville's Victorian Christmas New exhibits highlight Third Fridays Dining Brunch at Loft Brasserie The Bohemian Club Thanksgiving comes early at Taprock Word of Mouth: Brunch at Brothers' Restaurant Blue Toba is a cultural experience Tempo Videos Classifieds Jobs Autos Real Estate FEATURED » Obituaries Blogs TV Listings Movie Listings Oregon Outdoors Oregon Healthy Living Magazines & Special Sections NEWS NOW Homemade bomb found inside stolen car after arrest of fleeing transient ... Police gain a clue in pumpkin smashing spree ... Neglect leads list of adult care facility failings ... Homemade bomb found inside stolen car after arrest of fleeing transient ... Police gain a clue in pumpkin smashing spree ... Neglect leads list of adult care facility failings ... Dr. Elaine Heffner: Lessons from animals By Dr. Elaine Heffner More Content Now MailTribune.com By Dr. Elaine Heffner More Content Now Posted Oct. 7, 2014 @ 12:01 am By Dr. Elaine Heffner More Content Now Posted Oct. 7, 2014 @ 12:01 am » Social News A friend gave me a wonderful children’s book called “Cat in the City,” by Julie Salamon. Intended for 8- to 12-year-olds, it is a wonderful story for children with a level of sophistication that speaks to adults. It is a story about friendship between animals, between animals and humans, and about unexpected relationships. One way this book is for adults is that the animals in it are distinctly human — and pretty savvy ones at that. Even though they can’t speak they communicate most effectively, especially with each other. They seem to understand human language very well and interpret for each other what is going on. The hero of the story is a cat called Pretty Boy, named by the human with whom a new dog friend lives. Pretty Boy has many adventures that connect him with interesting humans and new animal friendships. Through these adventures and relationships, he develops a new sense of self, takes pride in his own abilities and discovers the pleasures of belonging, as well as the capacity for independence. The messages intended for children in this story can cause one to wonder why animals are used often to teach lessons in books for children. Bruno Bettelheim, the renowned psychologist, writing about what he calls “The Uses of Enchantment,” while focused on fairy tales has things to say about stories for children. He points out that stories that seem unrelated to the reality of children’s lives can speak to the inner, unconscious struggles, nameless anxieties and even violent fantasies children experience in the process of growing up. Through stories some of these unconscious struggles are able to come to awareness and worked through in imagination toward a positive resolution. Bettelheim notes that parents often believe that children should be diverted from what troubles them and be exposed only to the sunny side of things. We want children to believe that all people are good rather than the fact that we all have the potential to be aggressive and selfish. But children know that they are not always good and that often they would prefer not to be. This contradicts what they are told and makes a child a monster in his own eyes. Bettelheim points out that fairy tales present the basic dilemmas of life in a clear, simple form. The stories get across the message that struggling against difficulties is part of life. If one steadfastly meets unexpected hardships, one can master all obstacles and at the end emerge victorious. In “Cat in the City,” many of these themes emerge. Pretty Boy is the hero who is attached to a young boy who loves music and hears him struggle with the disappointment of discovering that the notes he plays on the cello at first sound nothing at all like the admired teacher’s playing. Although discouraged he sticks with it, dealing with criticism along the way and ultimately improves. An important aspect of inner conflict in children’s development is their struggle with dependence and independence involving separation from parents. Pretty Boy experiences this conflict, enjoying the comfort of being fed and cared for but also wanting to strike out on his own and show his own mettle. Traditional fairy tales may provide the six degrees of separation necessary for children to allow their fears to be brought nearer to the surface. But the “Cat in the City” and its two degrees of separation brought by animals interaction with the adults in their lives, does a good job of speaking to children – while giving adults some important messages as well. Elaine Heffner, LCSW, Ed.D., has written for Parents Magazine, Fox.com, Redbook, Disney online and PBS Parents, as well as other publications. She has appeared on PBS, ABC, Fox TV and other networks. Dr. Heffner is the author of “Goodenoughmothering: the Best of the Blog,” as well as “Mothering: the Emotional Experience of Motherhood after Freud and Feminism.” She is a psychotherapist and parent educator in private practice, as well as a senior lecturer of education in psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College. Dr. Heffner was a co-founder and served as director of the Nursery School Treatment Center at Payne Whitney Clinic, New York Hospital. And she blogs at www.goodenoughmothering.com. By Dr. Elaine Heffner More Content Now MailTribune.com By Dr. Elaine Heffner More Content Now Posted Oct. 7, 2014 @ 12:01 am » Comment or view comments Reader Reaction » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. calendar Connect with MailTribune.com Facebook Twitter RSS Back to top Reader Services Reader Services Home Subscriptions Subscriber controls Contact us Submissions Photos Events Letters to the editor Corrections Announcements Obituaries Story ideas Since you asked Alerts Email Alerts RSS Feeds Text Alerts Advertise Media Kit Home Products and services Ad rates Advertising contacts Mail Tribune Daily Tidings The Nickel Shop Our Valley Blogs Stay Informed Email newsletter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. 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