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Over the Back Fence By HANK HENRY Early birds don't fly with nighthawks It's a nightmare. There you are, walking down the aisle to marry the girl who will be your wife. The two of you stand in front of the man who will marry you. He clears his throat and says, "Before I marry you, there is a question I want to ask each of you: Are you a morning person or a night person?" Your bride-to-be looks puzzled, but she finally answers, "I'm a morning person." "And you, son?" "I'm a night person," you say. The man clears his throat and says, "By the authority granted me, I hereby refuse to marry you. Marriage is hard enough, with all the deep-seated differences between males and females. To put a morning person together with a night person -- that would put too much of a strain on your marriage." He closes his book, there is a puff of smoke, and you find yourself sitting up in bed, thoroughly frightened. It takes a little while to remember you are already married; that your wife is asleep beside you. It certainly felt real. Whether your mate is a morning person or a night person is something that rarely gets discussed before a couple marries. Over time, many couples slowly begin to recognize that they're operating on entirely different peak-energy cycles. If you and your mate happen to run on the same cycle, congratulations. What you have probably guessed by now is that my wife, Nora, and I are opposites. I was born a night person; she was born a morning person. The difference in our energy levels can vary widely at certain times of day. This doesn't make a great difference until about age 50, because younger minds and bodies operate fairly well even when they're working at their lowest energy levels of the day. As a night person, I had problems working a morning person's schedule during the years I was in radio. The most important time of day in terms of advertising sold was what we called "morning drive time," the period from 6 a.m. to 9 a.m. when the listenership was the highest. To prepare for the morning shows, the staff had to arrive at the station by 5 a.m., which meant I stumbled around for the first hour waiting for energy to kick in. In the evening, I would begin to really wake up, but I had to be in bed by 8 or 9 p.m., and it was hard to get to sleep. Over the years, I eventually got my sleep pattern to work better, but I was still not a morning person. Then I went into television where the peak time for newscasts was 6 p.m., which was more to my liking. Nora has never changed from being a morning person. She almost always gets up at 5:30 a.m., while I sleep until 7 a.m. Why are there morning people and night people? Textbooks say our wake-and-sleeping cycle is regulated deep inside the brain. The term "body clock" refers to a tiny bundle of nerve cells located directly behind the eyes that transmit chemical messages on a regular schedule. Scientists are still learning why the brain manages the body's circadian rhythms with peaks either in the morning or evening. In the United States, it is estimated that 25 percent of adults have difficulty sleeping, and that increases to 50 percent of the senior citizens. After doing some reading, I'm still puzzled why my wife is a morning person and I'm best in the evening. I do know that I was a lot worse as a night owl years ago than I am today. Even before Nora and I married (nearly 45 years ago) I had trouble waking up from a nap and instantly being bright-eyed and wide awake. Nora called me at my apartment late one afternoon to tell me something, and I had to call her back later to find out what I had said. After we were married, we lived in a very small house. It was so small that the refrigerator and a portable wardrobe closet were kept on the enclosed back porch because there wasn't room for them inside. One morning, I was standing in front of the refrigerator with the door open, looking befuddled. Nora asked me what I was looking for. I told her I was looking for my shoes. Now we live in a home with a refrigerator at one end and closets at the other end. It's less confusing that way. (Hank Henry is a retired Jackson County commissioner and a former radio and television announcer. Call him at 772-9055.) Prime Times front page Mail Tribune front page Copyright � The Mail Tribune 1999, Medford, Oregon USA