Document text
1 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation | Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? e-edition | subscribe | newsletter | deals Home News Latest Stories 'This isn't how we certainly wanted this thing to end' VIDEO: Shots fired in west Medford standoff with police 10 things to know for Tuesday Southern Oregon University's building boom adds up to $130 million South Medford, Ashland, St. Mary's students building video game Crime, Courts and Emergency Services 'This isn't how we certainly wanted this thing to end' VIDEO: Shots fired in west Medford standoff with police Emergency Services, March 17 One-time 'person of interest' in Grubbs case sentenced on bank robberies Medford teen sentenced to 7 years for pistol-whipping another teen over a girl Politics and Elections Arthur I. Cyr: South Korea represents long-term triumph – for them and for US Special election: Jackson County voters OK marijuana tax Ex-Merkley aide chosen as Oregon secretary of state Ashland: Budget increase, swimming pool funding discussion on council agenda Judge upholds Phoenix's moratorium on medical marijuana dispensaries Education Southern Oregon University's building boom adds up to $130 million South Medford, Ashland, St. Mary's students building video game Ashland High principal receives national award Work your body to save your braaaaains St. Mary's School buys campus from parish for $6.5 million Environment Herptilian haven Proposed new rules for Oregon critter catchers would require the killing of nuisance animals Jacksonville requests extension on reservoir dam-notching permit Blooms coming too early for Rogue Valley's bees Low snow closes Mt. Ashland bunny hill chairlift State News HIllsboro jail worker sentenced to four years for inmate liaisons Portland man sentenced to 6 months for aiming lasers at planes Oregon is first state to adopt automatic voter registration At Dorchester Conference, Oregon Republicans look past a bruising election Curry County commissioner's decision to opt out of insurance causes clamor Nation - World Obituaries Geneva Rosel Canty Shiela R. Ettlich Karen June Shaw Keo Jean Sedenius Death Notices Weather Photo Galleries Since You Asked Videos Web Cams Mail Tribune 100 Shareable Bank of America is predicting a massive Tesla collapse Mars One attracts science fiction geeks and people who hate society Sports Latest Stories Crater falls short in softball season opener Wade leads Heat win over Cavs OSU to serve as NCAA tourney host Blazers' rally falls short RESULTS / STANDINGS Varsity 541 College Sports OSU to serve as NCAA tourney host Familiar tourney foes in line for Ducks LIVE blog of the NCAA Tournament selection show Tourney filled with great story lines Cowboy Up Pro Sports Wade leads Heat win over Cavs Blazers' rally falls short Spartans’ season comes to end Aldridge scores 24 points, Blazers beat Raptors Spieth proves clutch at Valspar Community Sports Business Latest Stories Test Drive: 2015 Subaru Outback Limited Silvio Calabi: 2015 Cherokee is a modern Jeep Oregon winemaking emerges as mighty agricultural force Rogue Disposal plans natural gas fueling site Blog: Are You Superstitious? Real Estate News East McAndrews Road sees a resurgence in commercial projects Business briefs: March 7 New construction prices jump 18.2 percent in Jackson County People In Business People in Business: Feb. 28 People in Business Transportation Rogue Disposal plans natural gas fueling site Alaska, United Express boost Medford airport to record February CEO Rieder leaving Erickson March 31 Lodging gains bode well for travel industries Agriculture Harry & David announces new president Warm winter has fruit growers poised for action Briefcase: Business briefs for Feb. 21 Opinion Latest Landgren cartoon: Sunshine Week Michael Gerson: Tom Cotton letter to Iran: The roughest of drafts Letters to the Editor, March 17 Granlund cartoon: March madness and other madness Letters to the Editor, March 16 Editorials Our View: Keeping the light trained on government Other Views: State must rein in medical marijuana Our View: Daylight saving bill another waste of time Our View: Medford native Dave Frohnmayer leaves legacy of distinguished service Our View: Medford council shouldn't over-regulate backyard pot gardens Letters to the Editor Letters to the Editor, March 17 Letters to the Editor, March 16 Letters to the Editor, March 15 Letters to the Editor, March 14 Letters to the Editor, March 13 Columns Michael Gerson: Tom Cotton letter to Iran: The roughest of drafts Guest Opinion: Central Point Cemetery needs work and city action Charles Krauthammer: Early Onset Clinton Fatigue George Will: The prescience of Daniel Patrick Moynihan Dana Milbank: Jason Rezaian's detention a tragedy for Iran Guest Opinions Guest Opinion: Central Point Cemetery needs work and city action Guest Opinion: Return to clearcutting is wrong approach for counties Guest Opinion: Plan a Hawthorne playground for all children Guest Opinion: There is nothing uniform about the Uniform Crime Report GUEST OPINION: Police, community should work to prevent profiling Lifestyle Latest stories Blog: The prodigal Watterson Pam Stone: No binge benefits from ‘healthy’ snacks Garden Cameos: Now is the perfect time to spot wildflowers Paul Rogers: It’s time to assess the damage to yards Season Stepp: Tips to spice up your tacos Food Season Stepp: Tips to spice up your tacos Food for Thought: Where to splurge and save at the grocery store Prudence Hilburn: Loaded potatoes, Buffalo chicken call for Candied Bacon Bites for dessert Community blog: Top toast with smashing beet, cheese spread Gail Ciampa: Colcannon Soup with Parsley Pesto is a vegetarian alternative for St. Patrick’s Day Home and Garden Garden Cameos: Now is the perfect time to spot wildflowers Paul Rogers: It’s time to assess the damage to yards Home Help: This top garage trend keeps gaining momentum The delightful work of flowers Using universal design Health Community blog: Denial is Not a River in Egypt Health Watch: Living smart to protect your heart Community blog: Can Twentysomething Depression Be�Healed? Dr. Murray Feingold: What’s your excuse for being late? Community blog: The Future is Now Hiking Biking Faith Religion briefs: Friday, March 13 More religion events in the Rogue Valley Religion Briefs Religion briefs, Feb. 27 Religion briefs: Friday, Feb. 20 Milestones and Achievements Haga-Parks Exercise helps special-needs kids adjust to airport procedures Engagement: Workman-Wright Anniversary: Hofer Columnist for a Day Rogue Healthy Aging Tempo Latest stories Review: 'Same Time' after all these years Kites & Crows, Ryan Marchand and Mercy Duo face-off this weekend at Rising Stars music competition in Jacksonville City-rock band Shotgun Wedding performs at the Craterian Theater in Medford Randall Theatre presents playwright Bernard Slade's comedy Nitty Gritty Dirt Band co-founder John McEuen performs at the Unitarian Fellowship in Ashland Theater Review: Thanks for the Memories pulls off challenging 'Anastasia' Review: 'Same Time' after all these years Randall Theatre presents playwright Bernard Slade's comedy Thanks for the Memories presents 'Anastasia' TMTO's 'Bye Bye Birdie' takes flight Music Kites & Crows, Ryan Marchand and Mercy Duo face-off this weekend at Rising Stars music competition in Jacksonville Rogue Valley Chorale presents 'A Festival of Choirs' at the Craterian Theatre SOU's Chamber and Concert choirs present 'Songs of Passion' City-rock band Shotgun Wedding performs at the Craterian Theater in Medford Live Music in Local Clubs Community Events Ashland Independent Film Festival announces this year's lineup OSF Hip-Hop Poetry Open Mic Ashland's First Friday Art Walk showcases new exhibits by regional artists Jesse Lawson and Joe Moxley host 'Barkeeper' Third Fridays showcases local artists Dining Restaurant Inspections Agave offers gourmet tacos, tamales, ensaladas and more Serra storms Seattle Sakura Japanese Sushi Restaurant opens in new location Restaurant Inspections: Sunday, March 1 Tempo Videos Classifieds Jobs Autos Real Estate FEATURED » Obits Blogs TV Listings Movie Listings Oregon Outdoors Oregon Healthy Living Magazines/Special Sections Business Services NEWS NOW 'This isn't how we certainly wanted this thing to end' ... VIDEO: Shots fired in west Medford standoff with police ... Southern Oregon University's building boom adds up to $130 million ... 'This isn't how we certainly wanted this thing to end' ... VIDEO: Shots fired in west Medford standoff with police ... Southern Oregon University's building boom adds up to $130 million ... Wry & Ginger: Things that go 'batter up' in the night Comment By Sid McKeen More Content Now MailTribune.com By Sid McKeen More Content Now Posted Mar. 16, 2015 at 9:41 AM By Sid McKeen More Content Now Posted Mar. 16, 2015 at 9:41 AM » Social News You’re not going to believe what was going down in our bathroom the other night. I woke from a sound sleep about quarter to 3 a.m. to an earsplitting cacophony of smashing noises. The sounds were deafening. I sprang from my bed, like the guy in the Christmas poem, to see what was the matter. The walls shook from repeated rat-a-tat blows that sounded like we were under attack from enemy aircraft. There were holes in the roof big enough to heave Manhattan phone books through. With only a night light to show the way, I cleared enough space on the floor to advance into the shower area. There — right in the middle of everything — stood a giant of a man swinging a baseball bat wildly, knocking balls thrown from who-knows-where and sending tiles and toilet-fixture fragments crashing off the ceiling, walls and floor. “Hey, what do you think you’re doing?” I screamed. That’s when I discovered the identity of the intruder. It was none other than David Ortiz, the Boston Red Sox designated hitter, in full uniform. There was no mistaking that bull-moose physique, the wide, winning smile, the Dominican accent or the immense No. 34 on his back. It was Big Papi in the flesh. I was too bummed out to ask for his autograph, but it passed through my head. “I’m really sorry, man,” he said, tossing his Louisville Slugger into the trash heap that used to be my bathroom. “Last thing I remember is I was falling off to sleep after a day in the batting cage back in Fort Myers. I don’t have no memory of how I got here, but I tell you right now, I’ll pay for the damage, man. I’ll even buy you a new house if you want, with as many bathrooms as you think you need.” “They got this new rule this year, man, the top dogs in the commissioner’s office,” he told me. “They say we gotta keep one foot in the batter’s box every time at bat to help speed up the games. That kinda got me upset, and I must have walked here in my sleep and somehow took it out on you. I’m really sorry, man, and I want to make it up to you.” None of it ever happened, of course. It was all just a bad dream, probably brought on by my fickle digestive tract combined with my usual excitement at sizing up the latest version of the Sox. I’ve been a fan since 1940, for better or worse, mostly you-know-what, and people like us have learned how to keep hope alive. I leave it to you to figure out the significance of the dream. Did I place Papi in my shower because I’m a lifelong control freak, and I’m looking for him to bat “cleanup”? Is the shower some kind of metaphor for the recent history of Red Sox baseball, going from cold to hot to cold in the last three years of play? Was I making my bathroom available so my favorite team would find a way to flush last year down the drain and find their way back to the throne room they call the World Series? Enough of the Freudian conjecture. Who cares? Our place is intact. Spring, more welcome this year than I can ever recall, is just around the bend, and nothing says spring like baseball. As a seasonal rite of passage, it sure beats pushing the clock ahead another hour. So, batter up. Let the games begin. Go spring. Go baseball. Go Sox, Go David. And you’re welcome to drop by for BP anytime, big guy. I’ll even leave the light on for ya. Sid McKeen is a columnist for The Worcester (Mass.) Telegram & Gazette. He can be reached at [email protected]. By Sid McKeen More Content Now MailTribune.com By Sid McKeen More Content Now Posted Mar. 16, 2015 at 9:41 AM » Comment or view comments Reader Reaction » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. calendar Connect with MailTribune.com Facebook Twitter RSS Back to top Reader Services Reader Services Home Subscriptions Subscriber controls Contact us Submissions Photos Events Letters to the editor Corrections Announcements Obituaries Story ideas Since you asked Alerts Email Alerts RSS Feeds Text Alerts Advertise Media Kit Home Products and services Ad rates Advertising contacts Mail Tribune Daily Tidings The Nickel Shop Our Valley Blogs Stay Informed Email newsletter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. Your privacy is important, read our privacy policy. © Copyright 2015 Local Media Group, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Local Media Group Publications Original content available for non-commercial use under a Creative Commons license, except where noted. MailTribune.com | P.O. Box 1108, Medford, OR 97501