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Prime Times Weekly publication of the Mail Tribune , Medford, Oregon DO'S & DON'TS; 'Growing old is not a right; it's a privilege' By STAN HINDEN special to The Washington Post Can you help yourself age successfully? I believe you can. I have a personal list of do's and don'ts that works for me, and I'm happy to share it with you. I recognize that the list may be most useful to those who enjoy relatively good health. It's fairly easy to grow old successfully when you can get around easily and do what you want. It's a lot harder when you have physical limitations -- although every day I see people do amazing things in spite of their infirmities. With this in mind, here's my list of do's: 1. Find an activity you really love. It can be a paid job, a volunteer position, a hobby or a sport. Make it the centerpiece of your life. It's a terrific feeling to be able to spend your time at something you really enjoy. 2. Maintain your independence. For as long as your health and finances allow, do things for yourself. Live by your own schedule, and come and go as you please. 3. Exercise regularly. Exercise is not only good for the body, it is also good for the mind. Exercise helps reduce tension and anxiety and provides a sense of accomplishment. 4. Eat healthfully. With the help of a doctor or nutritionist, figure out what foods are best for you and make sure to include them in your daily diet. 5. Keep your brain in gear. Newspapers, books, magazines and TV shows that deal with current issues are all good ways to stay focused on the world around you. Join a book club or discussion group. 6. Stay involved with people. Scores of charitable, religious and civic groups need volunteers. It's a good way to meet people and develop friendships. 7. When trouble strikes, take advantage of your experience and inner strength. Remember that you've spent a lifetime practicing survival strategies. Share your strength with those who need it. 8. Pace yourself as you age. It's OK to walk a bit slower, talk a bit slower and even drive in the slow lane. If other drivers honk at you, let them rush on by. 9. Keep your sense of humor. If you can't remember the good jokes you hear, write them down so you can retell them to friends at a later time. 10. Find a way to be friends with your children and grandchildren -- even though they may have very busy lives. You need them and, whether they realize it or not, they need you. Here are the don'ts: 1. Don't tell the same story to the same person more than once ... OK, not more than twice. 2. Try not to bore your friends and relatives with endless talk about your health problems. When somebody asks "How are you?," don't tell them. 3. Don't neglect old friends -- especially the ones who played an important role in your life. Time goes by quickly, and you never know how many more chances you'll get to see and talk to those friends. 4. Avoid anger and confrontation. It's an imperfect world, and people make mistakes, even when they're trying to do their best. 5. Don't assume that age makes you wise and that the world is waiting for your advice. If your friends or relatives want advice, they'll ask for it. 6. Avoid living in the past. The past may make for great stories, but it's the present that most people are interested in. And by the way, e-mail is a terrific opportunity to connect with your children and grandchildren. 7. Don't miss your opportunities. You wanted to see the Baltimore Orioles play last season, but you never got there. You wanted to see the van Gogh exhibit, but you missed it. This is the time of life to go and see and do. 8. Try not to become a grumpy old man or woman. Cheerful and optimistic is better. 9. Don't irritate your family or neighbors. For instance, if you suffer from hearing loss, get a hearing aid so you're not always saying "What?" And, if you have to play the television loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear, get a headset that plugs into your TV. 10. Don't gripe about your birthdays. Enjoy them. Each year is a gift. Think about the alternative, and you'll enjoy your birthdays even more. And remember what my wife, Sara, says: "Growing old is not a right. It's a privilege." Use it wisely. Prime Times front page Mail Tribune front page Copyright � The Mail Tribune 1998, Medford, Oregon USA