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0 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation | Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? e-edition | subscribe | newsletter | deals Home News Latest Stories Emergency Services Get Up & Go: Jan. 13 Ducks fans' emotions run the gamut in big game A weapon against overdose Ashland robotics team aims to build a winner Crime, Courts and Emergency Services Emergency Services A weapon against overdose Woman reportedly beat girlfriend with police baton Central Point police say drunken driver hit house Emergency Services Politics and Elections Oregon Legislature convenes, session starts Feb. 12 Councilman stirs online dust-up with anti-marijuana post State certifies recount showing failure of GMO-labeling measure Education Ashland robotics team aims to build a winner Design and innovation program proposed at Talent Middle School College on the K-12 dime Students forge links between forest health and people Medford School Board meeting deferred because of Ducks game Environment OR-7 now officially the leader of his pack Ashland trails up for changes Monument expansion expected to increase tourism, protect resources Biologist resigns over LNG reporting failure Bird flu discovered in Winston backyard flock State News Purchase will transfer large Central Oregon ranch to BLM Kitzhaber focuses on inequality in inauguration speech Oregon Legislature convenes, session starts Feb. 12 Oregon State University plans $60 million forestry complex Washington man arrested in Portland hotel slaying Nation - World Obama makes Maduro’s ‘insolent Yankees’ line harder to sell Obituaries Robert (Bob) Merlyn Fasel Audrey Nyoda Kerr - Delora Lay Van Horn Donnalee Bell Norman D. Roberts Weather Photo Galleries Since You Asked Videos Web Cams Mail Tribune 100 Shareable In memoriam: 2014’s notable deaths Looking back: Do you remember 2014’s biggest stories? Sports Latest Stories Ducks lose out to Ohio State in national title game, 42-20 TCU climbs to No. 3 in final Top 25 poll No major incidents after Oregon's defeat Mariota falls in what might be his final game Buckeyes' Elliott and his linemen star with title on line Varsity 541 College Sports Ducks lose out to Ohio State in national title game, 42-20 TCU climbs to No. 3 in final Top 25 poll No major incidents after Oregon's defeat Mariota falls in what might be his final game Buckeyes' Elliott and his linemen star with title on line Pro Sports Harden boosts Rockets over Nets Fox, Broncos part ways after playoff failure Reed rallies to win Kapalua in a playoff Lillard heats up in Blazer victory Randolph, Grizz win 2OT battle Community Sports Business Latest Stories Economic future looking brighter Silvio Calabi: The cars of the year Business briefs People in Business Blog: Former Meier & Frank stores avoid Macy's hit list Real Estate News Jackson County real estate market headed back to normal Dear Monty: Best start for 1st-time homebuyers People In Business Transportation Medford airport traffic flies to new heights Falling gas prices help spur travel at Medford airport Agriculture Rising prices bear fruit for local pear growers Opinion Latest Our View: Approaching college with a running start Guest Opinion: Reforms needed to build upon John Day’s success Letters to the Editor, Jan. 13 Jan. 12 Letters to the Editor Our View: A pipeline should not run through it Editorials Our View: Approaching college with a running start Our View: A pipeline should not run through it Other Views: ACLU leader helped change Oregon Our View: It's best to prepare for the worst Our View: Falls has work to do to restore trust Letters to the Editor Letters to the Editor, Jan. 13 Jan. 12 Letters to the Editor Jan. 11 Letters to the Editor Letters to the Editor, Jan. 9 Letters to the Editor, Jan. 8 Guest Opinions Guest Opinion: Reforms needed to build upon John Day’s success Guest Opinion: FERC fails our planet Guest Opinion: East is east and west is west Guest Opinion: Get the best deal on pipeline Guest Opinion: Say yes to clean energy jobs, no to the LNG project Lifestyle Latest stories Dr. Elaine Heffner: Children, privacy and big data Food for Thought: Give up gluten, but not all grains Kitchen Call: Roasted pork, Tuscan style Book Notes: Essays on aging, from an aging poet Community blog: Braised greens and potatoes epitomize season Food Food for Thought: Give up gluten, but not all grains Kitchen Call: Roasted pork, Tuscan style Community blog: Braised greens and potatoes epitomize season Community blog: Happy New Beer Year! Community blog: Scanty spuds stretch winter greens into salad Home and Garden Home Help: Heighten your home’s style this year 11 reasons why we love wrought iron fencing Dear Monty: Eight great tips to ponder before investing in real estate Home Help: Timeless or trendy? Achieve both in your home decor this year Dear Monty: Best start for 1st-time homebuyers Health Community blog: Dont Let Fear Run Your Life Dr. Murray Feingold: Separation anxiety common in adults Health Watch: Staying fit as a frequent flyer Community blog: Tale of the Tape Community blog: We Don't Have To Conspire Against Good Health Hiking Biking Faith Old stained-glass windows face threats Churches start new year with messages of hope (No heading) Churches, synagogs host seasonal events Bethel Church helps families at McLoughlin Middle School Milestones and Achievements 50 years and counting: Bulebar Wedding: Lindsey-Maria Rios New arrivals Since You Asked: Sheriff's Office sells off foreclosed homes Mt. Ashland Ski Area shut down again by lack of snow Columnist for a Day Rogue Healthy Aging Tempo Latest stories Thanks for the Memories Theatre presents 'Rent' Live Music in Local Clubs Patty Groth's Morning Glory is still a delight 100 Watt Mind unveils 'Creatures' American Guitar Masters play the Imperial Theater Thanks for the Memories Theatre presents 'Rent' Tangled up in Dylan OSF's 'Great Society' up for Kennedy Prize Next Stage presents a tribute to an iconic folk artist Camelot's 'Fiddler' is a charmer Music Live Music in Local Clubs 100 Watt Mind unveils 'Creatures' American Guitar Masters play the Imperial Chamber Music Concerts presents Tesla Quartet Blues jam tonight at Little Brown Jug Community Events Art Presence showcases 'Naked Art' New Schneider Museum exhibits highlight First Friday Celebrate winter solstice with the Bad Film Society Tomaseen Foley's "A Celtic Christmas" returns to the Craterian Theater Stefan Baumann and Eugene Bennett highlight Third Fridays Dining Patty Groth's Morning Glory is still a delight Entertaining with a gift of treasure Jackson Creek Pizza Co. is a good downtown haunt Dobra Tea menu offers hundreds of brews Food for Thought: Wintertime wining and dining Tempo Videos Classifieds Jobs Autos Real Estate FEATURED » Obituaries Blogs TV Listings Movie Listings Oregon Outdoors Oregon Healthy Living Magazines & Special Sections NEWS NOW Our View: Approaching college with a running start ... Guest Opinion: Reforms needed to build upon John Day’s success ... A weapon against overdose ... Our View: Approaching college with a running start ... Guest Opinion: Reforms needed to build upon John Day’s success ... A weapon against overdose ... Dr. Elaine Heffner: The party's over Comment By Dr. Elaine Heffner More Content Now MailTribune.com By Dr. Elaine Heffner More Content Now Posted Jan. 6, 2015 @ 12:01 am By Dr. Elaine Heffner More Content Now Posted Jan. 6, 2015 @ 12:01 am » Social News Happy new year! The holiday is over, welcome to reality – time to face school and work. For children and parents, too, an adjustment to the reality of daily life can be challenging after this long holiday period that seems to start earlier every year. The tree ornaments are packed up for another year, the menorah is put away, the stores, homes and streets lose their festive decorations. With all the parties and presents, children had been transported into what may have felt like a fantasy world. There may be some resistance to the re-entry into the everyday world. Transitions are often hard – especially for young children. Sunday night blues are common even for adults facing work after a weekend. But little children daily often resist just moving from one activity to another, even when the change is to something they like doing. They as yet do not have the tools they need to be flexible moving from one thing to another. They get stuck in the moment – even a bad moment, as parents can attest after trying to move children out of such a moment. In the same way, young children may have trouble calling up within themselves experiences or feelings they are not having at that moment. If they are disappointed, angry or sad, that becomes the totality of what life is all about. It often seems impossible that they will get over anything that is happening, or that they are feeling. In the same way, the good feelings and experiences are not supposed to end. Along these lines, pre-school children in particular are still operating in large measure through the pleasure principle. They want to have and do what brings them pleasure and are not yet ready to defer, or give up what they want, in the service of a larger goal, such as getting enough sleep to feel rested the next day. It is also hard to wait for what they want, or to imagine that there will be other times of fun in the future. The concept of time is abstract – compared to now. For all these reasons, children often seem to regress after a long holiday, or whenever there is a significant change in children’s lives, such as travel, a parent’s absence or even after an illness. Bedtime, meals or even following usual routines seem disrupted. Children may protest doing ordinary things they had long mastered, or require the kind of help they had no longer needed. Parents often attribute such changes to children being over-tired and over-stimulated, which of course, may play a role. For the most part, however, the seeming regression reflects the fact that developmental steps are not yet firmly in place and are easily interrupted by changes in children’s lives that bring about changes in familiar routines and daily patterns of behavior. When a disruption is due to a holiday such as the one just ended, it becomes hard to give up the pleasures that have been experienced. The good news is this, too, shall pass. The seeming regression is just temporary. The key is to make some concessions to what may feel like needy or less mature behavior on the part of our children. Just dropping back a bit to earlier expectations can enable us to lead our children to the level they had earlier achieved. As with other aspects of development, having already mastered certain steps, it takes less time to regain them. Besides, as I write this it is snowing. Children can use their new sleds or saucers tomorrow – or hopefully, one day soon. Elaine Heffner, LCSW, Ed.D., has written for Parents Magazine, Fox.com, Redbook, Disney online and PBS Parents, as well as other publications. She has appeared on PBS, ABC, Fox TV and other networks. Dr. Heffner is the author of “Goodenoughmothering: The Best of the Blog,” as well as “Mothering: The Emotional Experience of Motherhood after Freud and Feminism.” She is a psychotherapist and parent educator in private practice, as well as a senior lecturer of education in psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College. Dr. Heffner was a co-founder and served as director of the Nursery School Treatment Center at Payne Whitney Clinic, New York Hospital. And she blogs at goodenoughmothering.com. By Dr. Elaine Heffner More Content Now MailTribune.com By Dr. Elaine Heffner More Content Now Posted Jan. 6, 2015 @ 12:01 am » Comment or view comments Reader Reaction » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. calendar Connect with MailTribune.com Facebook Twitter RSS Back to top Reader Services Reader Services Home Subscriptions Subscriber controls Contact us Submissions Photos Events Letters to the editor Corrections Announcements Obituaries Story ideas Since you asked Alerts Email Alerts RSS Feeds Text Alerts Advertise Media Kit Home Products and services Ad rates Advertising contacts Mail Tribune Daily Tidings The Nickel Shop Our Valley Blogs Stay Informed Email newsletter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. 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