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Wry & Ginger: Daylight saving and our hour of need Comment By Sid McKeen More Content Now MailTribune.com By Sid McKeen More Content Now Posted Mar. 30, 2015 at 8:41 AM Updated Mar 30, 2015 at 9:41 AM By Sid McKeen More Content Now Posted Mar. 30, 2015 at 8:41 AM Updated Mar 30, 2015 at 9:41 AM » Social News It’s been three weeks now since we lost an hour to embark on another round of daylight saving time. I’m just beginning to get used to it. Every time my wife asks if I’ve done something she asked me to do earlier, I explain that I’d have gotten to it already but for that hour we never had. I know we pushed the clocks ahead March 8, but that means we’re still running an hour behind. If the world survives, not a given the way things have been going, we’ll get our hour back on the first day of November. In an ideal universe, we’d get it back with interest — an hour and 15 minutes, say. Sadly, universes are no more perfect than worlds. So we should all start thinking now of how best to use that hour we get back next fall. (Though if Congress somehow manages to get its grubby hands on it, we could lose it for good.) Here, as a public service, are a dozen humble suggestions of my own for making use of those 60 minutes you have in the bank come autumn: 1. Stick some of those little rods along the edges of your lawn so the plow drivers can see where the public road ends and your property begins. Make bets with neighbors on how many make it ‘til the next snowstorm, which will be around again by next Tuesday. 2. Go into your favorite market advertising that it accepts “pre-orders” for Thanksgiving turkeys, and when asked how big a bird you want, explain that you are only “pre-ordering” now and you’ll be back next week to order. 3. Place a call to the folks at Geico and ask for a quote on your car insurance, but insist on speaking only with the gecko himself “because he’s so cute.” 4. Order one of everything displayed in the Hammacher Schlemmer catalog, request gift packaging for each, and when asked for your credit card number, explain that none of the inmates in your institution is allowed to use credit. 5. If you play the piano, try doing 60 straight performances of Chopin’s “Minute Waltz” and see how it comes out on the clock. (Hint: Even if you’re really good, it’s going to take an hour and a half.) 6. Make a collect call to the White House and ask to speak to President Obama himself. Tell whoever answers that you just had a sudden urge to reach out and touch someone. 7. Try to find a “cool, dry place” in your home to store things — not the attic, of course, where it’s too warm or the cellar, where it’s too damp. 8. Click every channel you can get on your TV and see if anything you find would be worth spending 20 seconds of your time on. 9. Call a hundred phone numbers at random in the telephone directory (if you still have one and can read the fine print) and ask to speak to Adrian. Keep a record of the strangest answers. 10. Read aloud the name of every stock on the financial pages and its value that day, and see how long it takes before you have complete privacy. 11. Deliberately catch a cold, take a cold remedy and see whether it’s gone in a week or seven days. 12. Write me to say what you think of this list, and remember that ding-a-ling is hyphenated. Sid McKeen can be reached at [email protected]. By Sid McKeen More Content Now MailTribune.com By Sid McKeen More Content Now Posted Mar. 30, 2015 at 8:41 AM Updated Mar 30, 2015 at 9:41 AM » Comment or view comments Reader Reaction » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. Southern Oregon Directory Featured Businesses Loading... 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