Document text
July 21, 1939
Mrs. Alberta Grisham (white)
Arcade Building,
Hendersonville, N.C.
Waitreas
Mrs. Luline Mabry (Interviewer)
Frank rasstano (writer)
STELLA DEAN: WAITRESS
°AginAl NAMPA Chapted Name
Mrs. Alberta Grisham nella Dean
Yale, Oklahoma Cole, Oklahoma
Long Beach, California Ocean View, California
Everton, Uissouri Piney Grove, Mo.
Horaoe Grisham Garret
Vaughn Grisham Sid
Bendersonvi.le, N.C. Cloudaville, N.C.
STELLA DEAN: WAITRESS
Well, at last you've caught me when I wasn't busy.
That doesn't happen often to a waitress, I can tell you
moan, there are very few times when she gets a chance
to talk, especially in a tourist town like this, in the
summer, when everybody is eating out. It certainly feels
good to talk to someone, thou h, because I haven't got many
friends in North Carolina, and even then I don't talk much
about my personal affairs. As a matter of fact, I haven't
thought much about the story of my life. I don't know if I
can even begin. But I'll try to tell it to you anyway.
When I was nine or ten, my father left his farm in
Kansas to go west Missouri, Oklahoma, Texas, and that way
into California. I honestly don't know exactly what made
him want to move. I don't think he knew exactly, either.
He gave a dozen reason. Liaid then it was like it is now:
people didn't seem to want farm produce, or if they did
they didn't want 00 pay anything for it. That was the main
reason, Then Maw's health wasn't any too good, either. She'd
worked hard, and Paw said he figured that if he didn't get
her out of the dust and heat of Kansas she'd die. And be-
sides, Pawld been bitten by the traveling bus, and he didn't
like Kansas anyway. Said he had enough of it.
So he rig,3ed up a truck :Ike n house car and started
out, working along the way for our keep and for gas and oil
for the truck, sometimes as a derrick hand in the oil fields,
sometimes just naturally taking any job he could get; and for
awhile, when he strue Cole, Cklahoma be tot a steady job
and decided to quit tramping an0 laid over for seven years
the lonaest we over stayed in one place, up to that time.
It was funny, how nioe it felt to be living in a house
again. We had been aishing through the heat and dust so
long, a few miles a day, cram -ed up in the true, that when
we got in a house again it was fun lust being able to stretch
out and draw a decent breath knowing t at a sudden turn in
the road wasn't going to throw you off your feet. Why, some-
times on that track I thauallt I coulfIn't etand It an7 longer.
even when w4oved the air we stirred up choked us and the
sand and dust was over everything even got in our eyes and
in our throats until sonetimes we could hardly breathe. And
when we stoved, the inside of the rig got like n furnace. I
used to get so light-headed from the blisterin: heat, I'd
wobble around like a field hand on a Saturday night binge.
Well, after that, I can tell you, it vas darn nice livini
in a house again. And the electric lights, nice soft beds
and things like that were a blessing to Yaw, too. Riding all
day, for weeks, on that truck hadn't done her any good, it
Paw hadn't decided to lay over in Cole I guess she'd have
be n done for, I wonder even to this day haw she stood it
But then I
can stand
ys say there ain't no limit to what some people
sure surprise you sometiaes. Anyway, Uaw did,
ea got a job in the oil fields and I started to school
that ftU1. I'd never been to school before, save for a short
tie
ok in
sas and when 7 first began at Cole I'd make
some terrible blunders and the whole room would laugh, and
ltd come home crying to my mother. That was only at first,
thoaah. After that, I got used to the jibes of the other
kids; and in a little while I could give better than they
could send, so they let me alone.
Like I said, we laid over in Cole about seven years.
That's the only schooling I ever got, sore for some night
school work: in Ocean View, California. That was after l'awid
got tired of Cole and decided to move on to the coast. I
honestly don't know what made him quit his job in the oil
fields* Only know te used to _1st pretty disgusted sometimes
with the lon hours he had to put in and the twelve or fifteen
dollars a week pay he used to draw. Anyway, he pulled stakes,
and loafed across Texas, the old truck wheezing out a pitlful
few miles a day through heat so bad, day and night, that you
could hardly breathe or sleep or even move. .ou don't know
what the teat is Ili:e In the Southwest until you've been out
there cooped up in a true: on the road in the summer. The
dust out on the field's glinner with the glare of the sun
until your eyeballe burned 'lust to look at it, and after
awhile it all' look like an endless lake, like one of those
miraes„ save where a few scattered trees or a farmer working
a lateh with his sweating horses broke u7 the illusion.
It vs_ a relief when we passed over that country and
finally got to Ocean Vivir„ I can tell you. Paw decided to
stop there. For the first few nights we slept in the rig.
Then Paw heard of a. house for rent and we moved down there.
It used to be an ald suer cottage, near the ocean, set on
piles driven into the sand, and screened in for the most part
like those suer places usually are. But it didn't get very
cold that fall, and we were pretty well used to weathering any
sort of place, so we :-Iade the best of it. And.that winter,
after Paled found rfgular work, I went down and enrolled in a
public ni4ht school.
Well, that's how things stood just then. I was getting
along pretty good in school, Paw was working, and Mawld never
looked better or so content in all her life Everything
seemed okay, and I guess everything vev, for the time being.
Only they didn't stay that ma:'. BecauA, about that time Ocean
View had a big earthquake, which didn't hurt us none, but
which pretty near scared the life out of us. It wrecked
business, though, and Pa' s lob folded up. I remobber him
oomin, home and telling Maw we'd have to load up in the truck
again and pacfiz off book to Missouri Said it vas too dangerous
staying around places where the wind ind the ocean kicked up
so much hell. Maw Net looked at him in that tired way of
hers. I know, I know, Paw," she said. ABut why you just
don't come out and say you want to be traveling agiin, beats
ma," Law's like th,t. She could always see through Paw.
Moving again sort of put a crimp in y plans for an
education. kaybe under different circumstances I'd of
stayed behind and got a job which would have paid my way
through a good school. You see, I always wanted to get ahead.
But you know how it is when everything just folds up, like
it did when we had the earthquake? You are too mixed up to
think straight, nnd too scared, and that's just the way I
ions. Jo when Paw said e was startink beck East I didnit•
say nothini:, lust t:oped he wouldn't be too ions getting
through the flat country on the way ha -elf:. And at that he
did make pretty good time over the plains, and for the first
tile I began to perk up and take notice of thins and people,
and the like of that sometimes, even having n little fun
out of tho people we'd meet.
Sometimes thoulh, the people- weren't what you could
call very nioe. I remember one time when Paw laid over in
Oklahoma to pick up a few dollars working in a lumber mill*
and we were livin nearby in a tent in a sort of oommunity
eamp. Paw vms working overtime and Usw and me were simply
drooling with the het, so we'd come outside ln the right
for a brvr,th of fresh air. You'd think that at night the
eamp'd te asleep, r anyway still. ut you don't know them
places, I'm afraid. The.7 crawl w!th life* like flea on a
mangy doze and it all hours, too. And theri-'s certainly a lot
of 41rty things go on in apinoe like that. The kids don't
even go out of sight when they do thing. And some of the
women ain't careful, either. It used to make me sick. Right
in broad daylight. Uaybe I was getting squeamish, like Ma'
used to any, but I didn't like it. You see, I had graduated
from the pigtail stage, and was blossoming out into n young
lady* and those things lust struck me funny.
Anyway, to -et back tc that night Maw and 1:#, were sitting
out in front of the tent when all of a sudden we heard a
woman yell, WI got hid In the guts with the knife that time.*
3ay, you should have seen the way I jumped. gomething terrible.
Maw's mouth dropAod open, like a fiah out of water, or a
scared baby. WO didn't know what it was or what to do. 1
thought it might be a murder, but it didn't turn out to be
anything after all. I just thought to mention it, though,
to show you what the camp was like. You see, someone was
butchering yes, at that time of the night and in the
dark had rammed the knife into the hog's belly. I could
tell that when I heard the woman call out again and say,
"For Oodadighty's salm, so-tebody fetch up a lantern before I
poke nrother hole in these :.tinking guts."
Yes, there was always something going on there. Oh, it
was awful. Then there was the rain. It flooded out every-
thing. I'll never forget tow it rained. Day and nit, for
ten solid da7s it rained. Tould of had a hard ti,le finding
a dry atIteh of clothing in the entire canp. And it was
awful gloomy, becaune you know the feeling you let when it
rains and the sun don't shIne and you vent the feel of dry
things and you let all clammy and can't Bern to get warm?
and being cooped up in an eight by twelve tent all the time
ain't no jokc, either. I honestly didn't know what to do
with myself. and Maw was worse off. It was all right until
the steady dri7 of water on the canvas began to get on her
nerves. Then she nearly went to pieces. Pretty soon she
eau;Ot cold, and got chills, and I had to put her to bed
and nurse her. And she complained a lot, too, and that
kept Paw from etting his full rest, and in the morning
he could hardly drag himself out to the job. I'm not
blaming :_aw„ though. You see, she ha,: been through a lot
since shtipad been married. Yes. maybe I had too, But
I was young. Not that it didn't affect me. But with Maw
It was different. She couldn't see much, laying there on
her back, or do anything, either, and she was unhanpy and
cried and complained about the wet a lot. She was pretty
miserable then, I can tell you; it we_rn't until I went and
got 'fa. to see exactly how things stood and he decided to
push on that she ben to avt. better.
I began to take more notice of thin7s when we struck
the d again. I 3uess it as because I was growing up.
Anyway, I began to notice how Paled changed. Around the
face, I mean. guess it was the driving and the heat and
the worry
Maw had got to look sort of droopy too. But I
guess that was =stly because of ter clothes. She wasn't
so old. But she had been weari,Ig the sa:le faded dress for
so long, and her shoes were run down at the heels, and she'd
lost weiht and everyt—ing fit tier so loose that she just
looked old. Of course, was after all only a kid, Maybe
:ust thoulht she looked old. And 7'av: too. Only I don't
think so, because they had been through a lot and it was
bound to tell.
Anyway, that's the thoughts that struck me as I rode
along in the truck. I eouldn't sleep sometimes, thinking
that if I kept up the life we had been leading I would get
like Maw and Paw. I'd lay awake and watch them and sort of
feel crawl y to think that maybe my own life would be such a
mess. Not that I blamed He worked when be oould. But
it was mostly working for nothinl. se used to say, though,
that we were better off on the road. Fe said that he guessed
wed have strved if we had stayed on the farm.
7:ell, we rolled along east until we 3ot back to Missouri.
Then we laid over in Piney Grove. That's a small farming town.
Paw began lookin3 for soothing to do, going from door to door
and talk:lag to neople about giving him work. A farmer offered
him a job, and he took it. As handyman. It didn't last long
Two years. Then Paw -7ot fed up again, working like the devil
for someone else and gettinl nothing more than board and a few
dollars a month, But Paw was hard up for money. So he stuck
it out. For the two years, I mean. And that gave me a chance
to meet Garret.
I guess I fell for Garret pretty hard. I was lurt eighteen.
A girl that age would. And I never had any other fellow. You
ma, I'd been on the move most of my life. Anyway, Vlore was
Garret living on a farm near where we lived, and I met him one
day at a pionic, and pretty soon I got to runnin3 arourd with
him.
We got along fine then Garret and me, I mean, I liked
to have him around. He'd laugh and joke, and I liked him for
that And then he used to tell me that I was a knockout, and
that rgide ne feel pod; undo anyway, maybe I was, because I'd
had my hair bobbed and Maw used to say how I ou,Ibt to 3et in
.9.
the movies with my big eyes and dark eyelash s. And I was
filled out in the proper places, so I guess that caught
Garret's eye too.
Anyway, my head was sort of turned by being paid attention
to for the first time in my life, so I guess I leaped before I
looked, I fouA out things about Garret later. After we were
married. rostly that he was lazy. But I couldn't be expected
to get a really good nlant on that side of him until we were
married. I did take notice then. But it was too late. It
was after Z:id was born.
Sid was born in Ocean View. You see, riilat after Garret
and me was married, Paw started back to the coast with latir
in the old truck and Garret and his folks pulled stakes too
and went with Paw, and naturally I had to zo too. Well we
landed in Ocean View, and garret went out and got a job. Be
worked at it until 7.1d was born, then he quit or got fired,
I don't remember which. Anyway, there he was out of work,
and just when we needed things the most. That's when I first
discovered that he well, that he just didn't want to work.
When I'd say anythInp:: to him, he'd just get cross and pout.
But I kept after to get a job so I could buy the proper
food for Sid. 3od knows, I didn't ask hiri to do anything a
honest to goodness husban houldn't do. 1 didn't even ask
him to buy oranle juice and prepared foods for Sid. All I
wanted wr! deeent thins, like milk tnd eggs.
1 he pioke1 up odd jobs here and there, but in the
end it was always the same story: the work as too hard, or
the boss didn't like him, or something like tat, and then
he'd quit or got fired and stay out of work till we were down
to our last Cent.
Then one day he said his folks had decided to go back to
Uissouri, and he ens going with them. When I aske4 him what
was to become of ry and Side he said that we could live on
Paw until he could send for us, or anyway let a &went Job
and send us some money. Well, he didn't do either, lie just
hung around his own people in Piney ()rove until he WO3 fed up
with them again. And then he came baok to California. And that
was where I put my foot down about his loafin,r,. Then he went
out and looked*or work. Ne said he tried hard. I honestly
don't know. 3ut he didn't seem to be able to find an7. Then
he said that if Sid and WO would go back to Missouri with hi,
he was cure he could get semethik to do. enethin worth
while. 1 asked him what he had in mind, but he wouldn't say
for sure. *I heard there's somethin7, goin to open up in
nay'',rove,' he seid "I don't know for certain just that
it is, but you and Sid come back with me 3nd well get along
fine."
6011., I *gaily didn't know what to think. It clrtainly
had me Nessini. :aut I figured we couldn't live or ?am all
the time, and anyway we couldn't be much worse off than we
were So I went bac% to LAssouri with him.
Cay, listen after all you ain't intersted in what a
batter my husband turned out to be, or how nean his folks
treated me. Besides, I want to forget that part of it. 7ust
let me ssy that I worried myself into a neraous bra
and finally had to paok US :a14 and what few clothes I had
and go bac'a to my own folks. I didn't know what else to
do. And it turned out for the best. You sae, my folks were
livIng here in North Carolina then, in the mountains, and the
fresh air and the change did me a world of aood. I begaa to
feel darn good for aatile, and just ''her I we look!ng at the
world throug.ose colored glauses who should pop in n me one
day but my husband.
couldn't stand for that. Him sponging on my folks* I
nean. Jo I aersuadea Ilia to ao baca to ::iesouri, and to aet
him to do it I took Sid and went back with hima We lived with
his folks for awhila. I triad hard to make a go of it. I even
aot a job and turned my noney over to him to save for a little
lace like we always talked about having, and a oar, but he
squandered the money, so I knew it just waan't any use then.
Co I 04ne back here to Uloudsville and landed a job. As
4 anitres»J. It laated three month. he the tourist rush
was ovea they rAlid they didn't need ae. I went around from
one plaoe to another after that and finally I lot n job at a
hotel. I waited on tanles there, too. Only it waaallt as hard
ta the, first Joh. I w s gettina used to the aora, and I
wasn't so clumsy, and anyway tlasro wasn't the rush because it
was during the tag end of the tourist season. But that hotel
*lased the dinina room in the winter. So that job didn't last
either. 7:hea they let ae go, I ried answering ads, and .1 run
down the only aood pair of Shoes 1 had following leads. But
I didn't get s thing to do tat winter. I didn't get a thin
to do, in fact, until this spring, when 1 at last found a job
dovn the street in a restaurant Then I heard about this job,
which pays more, so 1 came on down here lnd have been here
ever stice.
L:,to you see how thifls have gone with me, .ere 1 am,
nearly thirty, got a boy to raise, nnd nothing to look forward
to. No future. :Al, I guess I'll make the best of it. I'll
have to. I'll have to for l'Ad's sa. I'd hats for him to
turn out like hie f ther. It really worries me sometimes.
hot that I think he will. But there is alw:,.ys the possibility.
Especially If 1 coulln't care for him and he got into someone
else's hands. But if 1 can hang on to my job everything will
be all right* Sid has the makings of a man. Oarret wme :met
no good. But :Ad is different" He ain't a bit like his
father, and thank lod for that. I know that's an awful. thing
to say about your own husband. But its:7 the truth. re just
hap7ened to turn my head when I wan young. Or I guess I would
never married hin. I don't know whether I ever loved him*
Only don't now. I honestly hardly ever thing about him
anymore.
Ch, there's so much to be done. letting ad properly
educated, for one. Then I ot ambitions of my own. I want
a little home. ii.nd flowers. ;:ven chickens maybe, like Paw
used to keep on the farm down in Kansas. I guess I/11 never
get them working as a waitress. It certtinly makes me dis-
couraged somflpimes.
ie.
Salary/ Oho I make fifteen dollars a week. That ain't
is It? Not and ha7e enough to do the thin3s I was telling
you about. But maybe I'll strAce s=ething better some day.
Then mlaybe I ooA.d send Sid off to school a religious schools
I'd like it to be, because then he would certainly not get off
on the wrong track.
Say, there's a customer just come in, so I won't be able
to talk to you any longer. But before you go I'd like to ask
you something. 3o you believe in prayers':' Really? qoah,
n glad to learn that. Me, I've never been very religious.
Didn't have the. tine, I guess, But 1 just lately took to
oln re ular to chvxch and learned to pray. It does me good.
No, not for myself. For Sid* I pray for hlm to grow up and
be a fine nan. I pray that he won't turn out to be like his
father. !Cu don't thkhk that's bad of Ilo, do you?