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Every so often, you come across someone or a group of someones who, when faced with deciding how to act in a particularly difficult situation, says the following: “Don’t just sit there ... do something. ANYTHING!” (Yes, these folks always speak in capital letters.) Lately, it seems that this group of someones has converged in Salem and piled out of an Uber the size of one of those cars that brings the clown act into the center ring of the circus. (I know it sounds like it should be a metaphor ... but it really isn’t.) When the duly elected for whom we Oregonians voted aren’t losing committee appointments after using disparaging remarks during hearings; when they aren’t approving press releases that tenuously tie together a proposed rise in cigarette taxes with police shootings thousands of miles away; and when they aren’t holding sexual harassment training sessions during which the taxpayer-paid expert trainers encourage victims not to report unwanted advances or risk being perceived as “tattlers,” joking that “snitches get stitches” — who’s running this thing? Jeff “Where it’s he said against she said, she always wins” Kruse? While they’re doing all of that, this same state government is coming up with dozens of proposals for new laws that make the lives of their constituents so much better, while justifying their existence. (Although, I’m afraid, not in that order.) The ideas ... and I’m being generous in some cases ... in this legislative session have been popping up with the speed and randomness of the furry targets in a game of Whack-a-Mole. They cover such a wide range of unintended consequences, that it would go against Article 1 of the Sunday Columnists Code to ignore swinging at them with our rubber mallets. Let’s see ... where to begin? Take away our kicker refunds to spit a drop into the bucket that is the systemic stupidity of the PERS tsunami? Nah ... too easy. A statewide ban on providing single-use plastic bags and foam food containers? Nope ... went down that rabbit, err, mole hole a couple of weeks ago. Instead, I think I’ll take aim at pieces of legislation currently circling on tricycles inside the Big Top that are intended to change or influence the lives of teenagers. Yep, Salem’s group of someones is all over the map in how it wants to order around those (thus far) too young to vote. One bill would provide condom machines in “50 percent” of school bathrooms (make your own joke) so they can be available for students in grades 7 to 12. One bill would make optional the use of helmets for scooter riders over the age of 16. But the bill gaining the most public notice nationally is the one proposing lowering the voting age to 16. No wonder they also want to ensure those kids still wear their scooter helmets. So let’s get this straight: You can’t smoke in Oregon — yeah, right — until you’re 21. You can’t drink in Oregon — yeah, right — until you’re 21. You can’t get married in Oregon (without parental consent) until you’re 18. You can’t drive a car without restrictions by yourself in Oregon until you’re 18. Meanwhile, the state wants to bar those under the age of 21 from purchasing certain weapons. All of those age restrictions carry an inherent underlying philosophy — that those of a certain age are not informed or mature enough to make wise choices. AND YET, WE WANT THEM TO BE ABLE TO VOTE??? Heck, the voting age was lowered nationally to 18 in 1971 ... and the first thing we did with that influx of new decision-makers was to re-elect Nixon. State Sen. Shemia Fagan, a Democrat from Portland, said Monday during a press conference announcing the idea that 16-year-olds should have a stake in their state’s political future. “It’s time to lower the voting age in Oregon and give young people a chance to participate at the ballot about decisions that affect their homes, their clean air and clean water future, their schools, and as we’ve seen, their very lives,” she said, referencing the Florida school shooting. Let’s see ... clean air, clean water, education, gun laws. Not that I’m saying there’s an agenda here — yeah, right — but I wonder if the Honorable Sen. Fagan has considered that perhaps there also might be a sizable contingent of 16-year-olds who would relish the chance to vote for conservative candidates and causes. Don’t get me wrong here, I have nothing against 16-year-olds ... although it’s harder and harder to remember when I was one. And today’s plugged-in adolescents are far more politically astute than those of us who depended on The Weekly Reader for insight. But, frankly — and maybe it’s because I’m a wee bit jealous — there should be a sense of unencumbered joy involved with being a kid ... even a teenager. Once you are faced with making adult decisions, the mistakes and the foolishness take on an entirely new weight. Just look at what the adult voting public has put into law, and into office. Before we ruin their final years of relative sanity by luring our 16-year-olds into this morass, someone should do something. Anything. According to Article 2 of the Sunday Columnists Code, Mail Tribune copy desk chief Robert Galvin is required to tell you that his email address is [email protected].