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0 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation | Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? e-edition | subscribe | newsletter | deals Classifieds Jobs Autos Real Estate FEATURED » NEWS NOW Medford outage reduced to less than 70 residents ... Local agencies simulate emergency at gas-manufacturing plant ... Naloxone credited with nine overdose saves ... Medford outage reduced to less than 70 residents ... Local agencies simulate emergency at gas-manufacturing plant ... Naloxone credited with nine overdose saves ... Jeff Vrabel: Unhappy accidents are hard to predict Comment By Jeff Vrabel More Content Now MailTribune.com By Jeff Vrabel More Content Now Posted Dec. 1, 2014 at 8:41 AM By Jeff Vrabel More Content Now Posted Dec. 1, 2014 at 8:41 AM » Social News You would think that a 3-year-old having three accidents at the house would preclude him from having a fourth at a Barnes and Noble but, man, you would be distressingly, seriously wrong. The potty training is coming along pretty well, and by that, I mean my son pooped on the kitchen floor tonight during dinner, so maybe you and I have different definitions of the words “pretty well.” It goes in fits and starts, is what I’m saying. We’re getting a handle on the pee thing, but poop-training remains a widely unexplored wilderness of hope and possibility, which is to say I’m starting to believe it’ll maybe possibly happen when he’s 12. It’s partly happening: “I’m wet,” he’ll confess, but quickly add, “But my bottom is dry!” It probably says something about the kind of father I am that my first instinct is to congratulate him for having a dry bottom, and not to chastise him for hosing down the front of his trousers with such enthusiasm that there was actual dripping. We lucked into something: The boy’s daycare handles a good bit of the potty training, or at least partners and counsels with us on it. Last week, I actually got an email at like 10 in the morning from the delightful Ms. Jen, who reported that my son both announced his need to go poop in the potty, but then — wonders never cease! — went and DID IT. This may not seem like news that demands an individual email, but lo there was much rejoicing. I might have cried in a Starbucks; it all happened so fast. So we have teamwork, which is great. But the daycare’s potty-training plan has one fatal flaw: They don’t come back to my house, which would frankly be really nice of them. Because when we get back here, things get a little less consistent. I know what we’re supposed to be doing, that there’s a system of rewards and incentives and screen time and peeing on Cheerios for some reason, but it just doesn’t happen here. Which brings us back to the bookstore. Now naturally, when you’ve planned a day of shopping with a kid who’s like 47 percent potty-trained, you know you’re rolling the dice. But since he’d had three, count them THREE accidents during the morning, I believed, understandably I think, that the tank was empty. This was, of course, not the case, and I could tell it wasn’t case because my son betrays some quiet subtle tells. For instance, in this case, he hid under the Thomas the Tank Engine table in the kids’ section and laid there until I came to get him. “Is everything OK, buddy?” I asked. “Yeah,” came the tiny, muted reply. “Did you poop?” I asked, absorbing the looks of the other parents whose kids were being delayed from their train fun by my son’s bowels. “Yeah,” he muttered again. “Do you want to go get changed?” I asked, and he turned his head and gave me a sad, hopeful look, one that said, “I bet you left the backpack in the car, so now you’re gonna carry me and my poop out of the store, into the car, change me in 40-degree wind and then carry me back in 40 minutes later, aren’t you?” Yeah. Jeff Vrabel definitely cried in the Starbucks. He can be reached at jeffvrabel.com and/or stalked at facebook.com/jeffvrabelwriter. By Jeff Vrabel More Content Now MailTribune.com By Jeff Vrabel More Content Now Posted Dec. 1, 2014 at 8:41 AM » Comment or view comments Reader Reaction » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. Southern Oregon Directory Featured Businesses Loading... 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