Friday Funnies: Cue the Monkeys

Robert Malone — Collected Works

2026-05-29

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I read the above - and thought… “Time to fact check.”Yes, in fact, the above is true.Under Senate Republican Conference Rule III, five Republican senators can force a meeting of the Republican Conference by submitting a written request.The Conference Chair (currently Tom Cotton) is then required to call the meeting.Once the conference is meeting, a motion could be made to hold a leadership election or vote of confidence.Republican Conference rules then require a secret ballot. It would take 27 Senators out of 53 to vote to remove Thune as Senate Majority Leader.The people need to demand action!Aliens walk among us!Somewhere along the way, between No Child Left Behind, Common Core, and the Obama years, math apparently stopped being about getting the right answer and started being about explaining your feelings to the number seven.A generation of Millennials was told there are twelve different ways to solve 2 + 2, provided they can draw a colorful diagram, write a reflective essay, and form a small discussion group about the emotional journey of addition.Back in the day, if you got the answer wrong, your teacher handed the paper back with a red mark.Under New Math, getting the answer wrong just means you haven't fully explored your mathematical truth yet. The result is a generation that can create a 47-slide PowerPoint explaining why 2 + 2 equals 5, but still needs a smart phone with a calculator app to figure out the tip at a diner.Which reminds me of a certain song…Cuing up next!Monkeypox is waiting in line…Malone News is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Thanks for reading Malone News! This post is public so feel free to share it.SharePrince Caspian, the peacock is on tick patrol duty - while hanging with his humans.Yes, our peafowl hang out with us.A little farm update:A few days ago, we had a single pea-baby hatch.  Normally, the solution is to go get some chicks to keep him company, but more chickens is not what we need. Our coop is at full capacity, we have juvenile turkeys in our smaller run, and eggs are overflowing on the kitchen counter.We hopefully have more eggs to hatch in a few days, so the little guy will get avian company soon enough.So, for now - I am playing peahen. We have a little peababy under foot, on the sofa when we watch TV, and on our bed as we drink coffee in the morning… You get the idea.He has become quite tame and seems to be thriving.JGM