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Yankee Folk
YANKEE MERCHANT
'They ain't been brought up right"
Every young feller I've hired acts just like that when you try to tell
them anything. Dunno whether it's true in other towns or not. I don't expect
a young feller to know everything when I hire him. They's a It of tricks to
handling a sack of grain and coal chutes and things. A feller can tucker his
self all out doing things they's an easier way to do. I try to tell 'em and
they act insulted.
It don't make so much difference what they do around here, even though
they don't use their heads at all but just go at everything hind end first.
They'll learn in time. But I do get mad when they don't do aa I tell /em for
my customers. ilhen I was a boy and worked out, I felt I was obliged to do as
(--my boss said.
I like to have them deliver the grain and feed where the customer wants
it. (I tell the boys so. And 1 explain to them that the customer isn't always
round, so they should use their heads and put the bags *here they'll be handy
for the customer, in ,case they don't know where he keeps his feed as any
fool ought to be able to find out. tBut do they do it? I guess noti Seems
like they tear out to the place with the truck and when nobody sees them they
upend the truck and dump the bags in the first place they see, then tear away
again. I hear more hollering from customers over that than over anything else.
Man comes back from somewheres, maybe late at night, and can't get into his
barn without moving a mess of heavy grain bags. Maybe in his best clothes, too.
If he'd -a been willing to movkem in the first place, held-alought 'em at a
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chain store a little cheaper than I can sell. But he figures it's worth
the extry to have the bags lugged for him. That's how stay in business,
and how the young fellers have a job with me. But they don't think of that.
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They don't like to carry the heavy bags on their shoulders, and think ifithey
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can get out of it they are coming out ahead. he way to get a steady job and
keep it isn't to see how munch work you can get out of. The young people don't
'know that. They ain't been brought up right.]
Talk about leaving things where they don't belong. Some of them never
leave anything at all. And that's due near as bad. I sent a young feller
over the river with a load of coal. B4 come back with the load. Said the
folks weren't to home. Was the cellar winder fastened? Be didn't know. Did
you ask some of the neighbors where they was? H. hadn't thought of that.
Well, you take that load right back and you deliver it somehow. It's going
to be a cold night and those folks will want their coal.° 114 went back, and it
seams that the mamma was in the house all the time. The young feller had been
so careful not to disturb nobody that she hadn't heard him. And only saw him
when he was leaving with the coal. She yelled as loud as she could, but he
didn't hear her. She said he drove that truck awful fast.
Another time I sent young Stebbins —you know him —across the river up the
other way with half a ton of coal. bielf a ton, mind, just a little jag,
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and it's three four miles over there and same distanee_back. But they was
snow on the ground, the driveway hadn't been shovelled, and he couldn't back
in. JUst the women folks to home. 'Course I knew the place. Couldn't back
in? Why the house sits dun near in the road. 'Didn't you have a shovel? Yes,
he had. 'Couldn't you shovel just those few feet so's you could back in? W411,
he never thought of it. Couldn't you have gone across the street to Buffam's
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store and borrowed one of their old baskets and carried that littlo jag in?
Well, he never thought of it. 0 So you oome back here with it? Suppose you
think I'll toll you to never mind, we'll just dump the little load back in
the bunkers and forget all about it, and just let tem freeze over there?
Bah: I had to laugh. Be says, says he, "Miss Merriman stopped me just now
and says she wants a half ton of coal." "Oh she did, did she? I says. And
there she was right in front of her house, and there you was with a half ton
of coal on your truck that you couldn't get rid of. Now, why didn't you de-
liver it to her?eC,I says. Well, he didn't think of it:
Now, I'll tell you how we done when I was younger. 'Course those were
the hose and baggy days and we couldn't go joy riding with a couple tons of
coal at fifty miles an hour. But we managed to make deliveries somehow.
Paul Breinig lived on that estate just beyond Wanamaker Pond, on the
hill to the right. Be used coal for cooking, and he'd told ma that he wanted
some coal as soon as I could get it to him. I loaded up right away and started
off with the bosses. When I got to the foot of 'Ohog Bill, I mat Breinii; and
his whole family in their automobile, which was a novelty in then days. Be
didn't stop or holler anything so I kept on going, figuring that he was just
going to the post office, or somewheres, and would be right back. I come to
his place and waited a while but he didn't come. I tried the doors and they
was all locked, except one where the screen door was fastened but I could see
that the inside door wa0t. I went to a barbed wire fence across the road and
twisted off a piece of wire. I made a hook on Jens end and fed it careful
throigh the screen. Finally, I got hold of the hook on the door and unlocked
it. Then I went in and opened up to suit myself and basketed in the coal.
After I got it in I waited a while for Breinig to cote back. But he didn't
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eons. And I got soa4let that he had gone away somewheres for the night. And
I didn't want to leave the door unlockod, So got out the wire and after
a few tries I managed to hook the screen again, and so I come away.
Breinig Game down the next morning to pay ma. "Dunn.0 he said,
"how the hell did you get that coal in? The doors was all locked. And they
was looked when I got back. But the coal was there. How'd you do it?"
"Mister," I says, "I can get into any gol dunned house in this town. I
know 'em all. And I know how to get in. Nobody can keep no out not if
you've ordered something from me. You can look your house up as tight as you
want. But if you order coal, I'll get that coal in right in the bin where
you want it!"
But he teased so hard, and I mould see it worried him. Be =ASA quite
right in his head, you know, so told him how it was dads. But there you are,
would one of these young fellers think of that? I guess not. They'd -a come
back with the load 'cause the folks waSAN to home. And that's one reason why
small business MAU are disappearing. These young fellers wasn't brought up
right to make small business men.
You say there are too many *mall business men now sitliag in the middle
of the road? Let ma tell you, son, that this town would be a dun sight better
off if we had some business hare that would keep fifty or seventy-five men
busy winters; if these young fellers would start making things the way they
used to when I was a boy!
Maybe I mean 'small mosufactur I always thought that was what they
was talking about in Washington when they said/ "email bantams man." We don't
need nobody trained up to do any trading.
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bibs that when I was a boy used to braid hats. Straw hats, you know.;
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/i crown I ed. And when got up to two dollars and a half I could have a
t had one feller who was a hatter. I got a cent for every hat
pair of shoes matifby what I've been calling a small business man.) They wein't
(like -the kind the kids have now. They USA really leather boots. And sometimes
they had (popper toes. the real fancy ones had a little bit of red leather
set in 'ea. All kids have to do now when they want a pair of shoes is to hol-
ler. In those days we had to earn 'ma. And believe me, we took care of 'ea,
too. Upt 'ea greased and put away neat. We didn't wear tem more'n we had to.
Went barefoot mostly. My feet got so tough that I could walk right on this-
tles and not feel 'am. Even today I ain't got a corn, nor
broken arch nor nothing. Feet's as good as they ever 1111.8.
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Oh it ain't the kid fault. They ain't brought up right. And a lot of
it is this dummachinery. That's what chased the fellers out that used to hire
the kids and train 'am. You just watch now, it won't be long before they ain't
no small farmers either. All the farming that is done will be done by rich
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fellers, or by companies. I tell lie, the small farmer can't afford to put
in the milk coolers and the milk rooms and aluminum -paint his barns and every-
thing like the government tells him he must do else he can't sell his milk.
And the same with everything else he raises. 6Lost as bad as taxes. BO pays
taxes to hire government fellers to came round and tell him he can't do some-
thing to make money enough to pay his next taxes. All the way be can got out
of spending; the little money he has is to stop farming. You hear 'em hollert,
about settling people on the land. Why the hell don't they fix it so's those
that's on the land now can stay there?
Not that they do stay there much, though. Try to see any farmer and you'll
find he ain't to hone. Gone off riding in his automobile. Him and his whole
a bunion, nor a
fri
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dum family.
2' When I run a farm we didn't have no aUtomobiles to'gO riding in. 'Course
we had a carriage hoes or two and went to market once a week like everybody else
But we.got our hoeing all done before the weeds was higher'n the crops, by God, 1
...and before it was time to hay. We got our hay in prompt, too, and started the
next job. Didn't let the haying go till after snowily. They.holler about how
they can't hire no help. We couldn't hire none either!) Nobody would work for
money. Oh no, nobody would take any money for what they did. They just *raded
work. Your neighbor would help you get in the hay, and then you went and help
m I him. There wasn't all this stuff of figuring out if you was getting a proper
/return on your farm investment, what your overhead Was and what your time was
worth, such as the agricultural colleges teach nowadays.
Guess they must teach 'am to leave their machinery out in the field all
I winter, for so many of 'am does it. I always put what little machinery I had
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I under cover and looked after it the way I was trained to look after my boots.
But these oollege farmers don't. Let the machinery all go to hell and then buy
more. No wonder they can't show a profit on their farms all the time they are
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riding around in their automobiles.
Leon Alexander graduated from State College.
He'd inherited that big
farm just this side the state line guess maybe some of the farm was over in
New Hampshire, too. Well, he got most all the kinds of farm machinery they was
in the world. Got a job as agent, too. He had the first manure spreader I ever
see. Kept it under the barn where the manure could be pushed through the
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floor right into it. That was an efficiency method he bet learned at State.
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\Well sir,,a man wanted to buy a manure spreader and he heard about Leon being
the agent and having one, so he went up to see LOOR.1 Oh yes, Leon had one and
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Itio explainedl-to the manLa I_ll about !tient how much it cost, and the efficient way of
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filling it. The-Aman was real interest. and wanted to see it. Leon took hissi
out round the bark- hi hadn't -been there himself for some time -Iliad showed
him where the spreader was.) Lucky be come along or the man never woulda found
it.
jug was all covered up with manure so deep that only the end of the
Ii;o—le was showing: Leon got the idea of how to fill her up all right. He just
didn't think to take her out and spread the manure on the fields now and then. 1
Leon was a funny feller. He dropped dead over in Greenfield. Should
think be would. All he ever did was eat never took no exercise. Farming
didn't give it to him. Not the way he farmed. Be was quite a church feller.
Sang in the choir and never smoked, nor drank, nor nothing. I went to a
church supper once and be was there. Never went again. It make me sick. I
did go to a supper at Masonic Hall one time the Masons was giving a public
installation and Darby invited me to coma, when he was the head one. There
was Leon Alexander and Frank Montague and Frank Williams and Charlie Stearns
and a lot of those M*. Hermon professors all the same thing. Pass 'em a
dish of mashed potatoes and they'd scoop half of it off on to their plates.
V Then tllk'd take a couple of pieces of meat enough for a small family and
a damn good helping of everything else they was in sight, and never say
nothing. Just .it there hunched over their plates shoveling it in. And then
by God, yell for morel I never see such a passel of hogs in my lifel MY
stomach never bothers me. I guess I can eat anything plenty of exercise in
the grain and coal business. But I'd be ashamed to eat the way those fellers
do. And look at the bellies on tem. They all walk as if they was carrying
bass drums. Probably Old Moody started it. He had a big belly. You know.
Wouldn't never touch a mite of liquor, but he sure did shovel in the food.
Guess he ektpped that place in Scripture where it says to be temperate in all
things.
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Well, Leon would got up in the morning and help his man milk the cows.
Be was selling milk to a boy's camp up on the Ridge. Then he'd take the
milk to the camp and stay there for breakfast, 'cause it didn't cost him
anything. Bed get back about nine o'clock, maybe, and then he'd fool
around and get out to the field about eleven.
One year he hired me to cut grass on that big field of his east of the
road. There wasn't no houses there then. 'Course I came bright and early
to do what I could in the cool of the morning. I had a good pair of hosses,
but they wasn't fast walkers. When Leon come he showed up with a hoes that,
by God, couldn't walk two miles an hour. Darned old plug, all right for a
plough, maybe. But Leon had him on the rake. Light job, you know, where
we generally put our good carriage hoaxes. Darned if I couldn't cut faster
than Leon could rake. Finally be said it looked like rain and thought I
better help him get the hay under cover. I didn't see no signs of rain but
I took one of my hosses and !Welled the raking job. Leon hitched his plug
onto the funniest looking hay wagon you ever see. 'Twas a bit bigger than a
kid's toy wagon and it did have four wheels. Be and his man pitched the hay
into it. But they didn't use no system at all. A load of hay is built up,
you know, with forkfuls of hay like a brick chimney or a atone wall. They
just pitched it on any old may made a kind of big haycock so's one forkful
mould top the load si 'stead of regular rows like we did it. Mhybe it was
the way he was taught at State. Then they wouldn't bind the load, nor
nothing, just start for the barn. On the way the forkfuls would keep tumbling
off like kids out of a truck at a school picnic. But they wouldn't stop, no
sirs They went straight for the barn with whatever was left on the wagon.
And they never picked it up on the may back neither. I know I went by there
late in the fall, and here the field was, covered with little haycocks where
the wagon had been. AndodMINIem, the rest of the grass hadn't been cut neitheri
College or no college, Leon just wasn't brought up right.)
Robert Wilder