Document text
Forms to he Filled out for Each Interview
STATE
/TALE OF liFORKER
ADDRESS
DATE
SUBJECT
FORM A
Circumstances of Interview
Now York
Earl Bowman
86 Mist 12th St., N.Y.C.
May 10, 1939
"Bob 'Mite's Self-Skianint Skunks"
1. Date and time of inter-Jieo;
2. Place of interview
3. Name and address of informant
4. Name and address of person, if any, who put you in
touch with informant.
Name and adress of person, if any, aocorpanyine, you
C. Description of room, house, surroundinEs, etc.
FOLKLORE
NEW YORK
(Use as many additional sheets as necessary, for any of the forms,
e.(;11 lerinr the prober headini and the number to which the material
refers.)
"Yeah, Bob was jest like lots of danced fool men is ant always has been
"They ain't satisfied with all thl damned things they is in this world an'
which Ratchure herself has made, so they git idea they want to 'xperiment ant
cross -breed somethin' with somethin, else and I-Gawd make somethinl new ant en-
tirely different.
"Fact is, they think they's a danced sigh smarter'n Natchure herself is ant
can do somethin' she can't do or else somethin, she forgot to do.
"Yeah, that's the way they is, ant Natchure let's 'em go jest about
so far ant then she says: 'Hey, you damned fools, what'd think you're doinl, try
in' to mix up what I've done made ant make somethint new? You've gone far enough.
I-Gawdl, Am' she stops 'am shorternt hell...
"She sure does. Take mules for instance
"Men wasn't satisfied with horses an' they wasn't satisfied with jack -asses.
So what do they go an' do? They go an' put 'am together-- They take a horse -mare
ant jackass an' breed 'em together an, git a damned mule:I That's what they git...
it ain't a horse ant it ain't a jackass. It's jest a danced mule ant anybody that's
ever had any experience with a cussed mule knows what a mule is.
"MIMI:as so damned smart-aleoky they thought: 'I-Gawd, see what we've
donel We've gone an' oross-breeded a jackass ant a horse -mare ant plumb created
new 'species' (I think that's what you call it) of animal* That's what we've
done. Eell, we're a damned sight smarter'n Natcher herself 1st' men thought.
"Then Natchure says: "Th' hell you're smarter'n nal Jest try to breed that
damned bastard thing you got by marryin' a respectable horse -mare with a cussed
jackass. Jest try to breed it --an' see what you'll get* I-Gawd you wont git
nothinti I let you do it ONCE jest to make you think you was smart as hell. But
try to make your cussed mules a permanent institution. Jest try it-- I'll dare
you toil
'That's at Fatohure told men regardin, mules, an' I-Gawd, Natohnre
knowed what she was taikin' about... As far as mulls is concerned thqy's
jest temporary. No damned mule ever had a mule for a Par or a mule for a
Me. They Jest ain't capable of it, I-Gawd.
"That's th' way it works ever' time man thinks they're gain' to breed
somethint new by erose-breedint two things that already was. Natohure Oast
don't allow it, that's all they is to it.
'But man ain't go no sense an, they keep on tryin' to beat Natebure at
her own game. /*God they do. Even some of us Pioneers of till Far Nest in th'
early days, ant that had ought to knowed better was that way
'Hell, I blamed a feller—fJonsai was his name I think —out in that flows
country where Bob an' me rode them cyclones told you about onct an' Nam damn nigh
wore out all her aprons shooin, gem away from our camp so they wouldn't bust up
that old speckled hen lion had set under till wagon so the could hatch out a settin'
of eggs ant fun -ache' herself...
'Mall, that feller, he was a Pioneer, but he got th' idea he'd raise a new
kind of beef=animal—a new kind of cattle by °mean' buffalo bulls with cattle
cows and vioorevergy. So, he goes an' rounds up some buffalos an' drives tem to
th' ranch ant cross -breeds tem with his cattle, an' then sets taak ant waits to
see what happens. well, I-Gawd he got calves that was a damned mixture of sem
bothl
'They was till funniest lookinl damn mares anybody ever seen.- Hell, 1-Gawd,
I ought to know I seen 4=6
'They wasn't buffalo ant they wasn't cattle -critters.
'They was Jost part ant part, so Jones (I'm pretty damn sure that was his
name) called sem' loattaloes. Maybe that was as good a name as any for easy
so that's what he called tem...
1.0awd, Jones thought he'd gone ant done a hell of a smart thing.
BO thought he'd gone ant invented a plumb new kind of waanimal--
-5
"Then Natchure stepped in ant says: 'Hell, Jones, you ain't so damned smart.
Maybe you think you are but you airOti I let you mix them buffalo that I made up
with them cattle that I made an' tgit one offspring. But that's as far as I'm
coin' to let you go. Them bastard things you call Icattaloest ain't gain' to be
permanent.' That's what Natchure told that feller Jones, who, beim' a Pioneer
of th' Far West in a early day ought to a-knowed betterin to try to be a 'creator'
on his awn hook like Natchure is on herin.
"Well, I-Gamd, Natchure was right. Them 'cattalos:' wasn't permanent. As far
as 'perpetuatint, theirselves they couldn't do a damned bit more about it than them
mules could*, They was jest plumb helpless in that respect....
"Yeah, that's th' way Natchure is, she let's darn nigh anything cross -breed
itself with clanged nigh anything else; but jest once.
"She don't mind things playin, around ant bein' damn fools if they ain't
got any better sense than to do it, but I-Gawd she draws th' line at lettin, 'em
make any permanent self-perpetuatin' new kinds of bastard -animals by mixint their
selves up that way.
"That's th' way Natchure is, she's awful patient an' ain't always naggin"
but I-Gawd when she does put her foot down she sure as hell puts it down ant means
business.
"So, that's the way it is about cross-breedinl things an, I figger it ain't
unreasonable to ',pose that 'wolverines' is part cat -critters ant part wolf-ctit-
tors. They's probably jest a sort of one-time experiment some cat -animal like a
catamount or cougar or somethint like that an' a wolf -animal has tried... That's
probtly why they's so clanged scarce. They're more'n likely plumb incapable of
producint more of their on kind of critters by breedin, among theirselves, so when
one happens it's jest th' result of a cross-breedinl experiment like I said.
"Anyhow, scarce as they is, I-Gawd I've seen millions of 'em an' no doggone
wolverine looks like any other cussed animal I ever seen so that's what I rigger
they are...jest a clanged bastard thing that never had no right to be in till first
place an' is plumb helpless to keep on beine on its own' hook, like mules an'
cattaloes and et cetery which comes from cross-breedine Natchure don't have
any use for to begin with.
"That's the way I figger it about wolverines, an' in some respects it was
a danged sight worse in regard to Bob White's eself-skinnine skunks' which he
tried to establish by cross-breedine things Natchure never intended ought to
cross -breed in the first place, an' so raise hisself somethine brand-new in the
akunk line.
"l'ob jest thought he could out -smart Natchure an' I-Gawd him ant Mam (Bob's
wife) an' me also found out that any man that gits the idea he can out -smart
Natchure sure has got a hell of a surprise °amine&
"Bo must a -got his 'self-akinnine 'skunk' idea that time when he was escaped
down there in the Kiowa country an' we seen that feller Jones tryine to cross -breed
cattle an' buffaloes
"But on second thought maybe Bob got his idea when we was in that Dig Bend,
Texas -Mexico section where the wind blowed all the hair off everething like I told
you about...
"Yeah, that's where Bob probely got it 'cause there was a Mexican down there
that was cross-breedine doggone dogs, I-Gawd, that's what I said--- Dogs with
dadgummed she -goats ahe raisin' 'pup -kids' that barked instead of bleatine like
ordinary goats does.
"They was the damnedest things anybody ever seen, them 'pup -kids' that was
half dog an' half goat was I-Gawd,Ied ought to know, I've seen dozens of tem.
"At first when you look at one of 'em you think its jest a funny lookine
sort of 'goat, then when you look at it again, I-Gawd it looks more like a dog
than it does a goat and then when you look at it a little longer, hell, the
cussed thing don't look like anything that seems possible --it jest looks like
somethine that never was an' never ought to have been in the first place. I-Gawd
that's exactly what one of them 'pup -kids' looked likei Jest like somethine that
waangt___
-7
"Hut they: sure was. For 'bout thy time you'd git to thin:kin' they ain't
no each a cussed critter, th' danced thing'd up an bark. I-Gawd that's what
it'd do. Then I -gosh you'd think: 'Hell, it must be some kind of a 'dog -thing.'
Then till next thing you'd know damned if it would back off ant take a runnin'
butt at somethinl ant you'd jest natcherally thinL: 1Goddlemighty, it must be a
cussed goat -critter.' Ant there you are, you're so darned mixad up an' confused
about it you don't actually realize what th' hell it is.
"That's what them darned 'pup -goat' things that cussed Mexican, (his name
was Pedro Garcia San Diego Gonzales-- No, I-Gawd to be plumb truthful an' ac
Curate I made a mistake an, ought to said his first name was 'Miguel' 'cause that's
what it was when I come to think of it) was raisin' by cross-breedin, dogs with
she goats. Toth, that's what th' damned things was like.
"I ain't sayint his idea wasn't pretty good. His idea was that th' goat
part of th' clanged things would go out ant graze on cactus an' Spanish Dagger,
soap weed an' loco like goats does ant he wouldn't have to go with 'em to herd
gem 'cause if a damned coyote or 'lobo' (wolf) or catamount or even a cussed
wild -oat or anything cone around th' dog ---part of them 'pup -kids' would bark
an scare till doggone varmits amyl
'I-Gawd it worked. Thl 'dog -part' of them Ipuplikids' was betterin any danged
whole dog they ever was to keep varmints from ketchin' th' goat -part of theirselvest
"Ant in addition, when it cone milkinf time th v dog -part of them tpuna-kids'
would round up th' goat -part of theirselves ant drive theirselves back tn th' cor-
ral ant all till damned Mexican (yeah, I'm danged sure his first name was Miguel)
had to do vial go out ant milk tem.
"It sure was a hell of a schema an' nobody but a darned Mexican that's so
cussed lazy he don't mant to do any more walkinl or for that matter anything else
that he has to would a -thought up...
41111,300.
"Yeah, so you see, I-Gawd, that's probably where Bob White rot his
ins!'ration about oross-breedin' somethin' with skunks that would raise some-
tring that'd be self-skinnin', 'cause if dogs'll cross -breed with she -goats an'
vicey-versey they ain't much doubt but what any danged thing they is would
cross -breed with any other danged thin 7 they is if they jest tried it hard
enough.
"So that's probily where Bob White got his 'self-skinrin' skunk idea...
"In a way nobody can blame Bob much for wantin' to Ista lish 'self-skinnin'
skunks if he could scheme out some way to do it, 'cause skunk skins is valuable
an' always was, even as far back a when Bob an' Yam (Bob's wife) ant 1:ie was
Pioneers in thy Far West in the early days.
"Yeah, skunk skins was valuable as hell with th' difficulty was to skin
th' damned things without gittin' all flavore: up ;ith th' smell of 'em. That
was th' difficulty.
"An' I-Gawd anybody that's ever skun a couple of skunks ('specially
skunks as powerful in regard to smellin' ability as skunks used to be in th'
Far West in th' early days) knows how cussed p'rsltent skunk -smell is about
hanginl on' an' how danged niEh impossible it is to it .Asp'rated from it
when anybody's all flavored up with it.
"It sure as hell does han7 on an' it also sure as hell makes whoever
it's hangin' on to thmned miserable, an' in addition, I-Gawd it affects any-
body they it close to or even in th' same neighborhood of doggone nigh as bad.
"But th' whole danged Far West was 7:ractically saturated with skunks in
them early days when Bob White an' Nam an' was 21oneer.; in it. Gawd, they
was millions an' prob'ly, if anybody didn't want to be plump accurate an'
trut an' not ixaggerate like so:Ae damned liars does, they :as even billions
of 'era.
-9-
"Natcherally, it was a hell of a temptation to kill a dozen or so, or
I-Gawd maybe even a hundred of 'em an' skin 'em 'cause skunk skins was jest
th' same as ready cash.
"It was a awful temptati:m an' I r,otta admit, I-osh, that Bob an' me
would weaken once in vwhile an' kill a mess of them damnod skunks anl skin 'em
jest to 'it some ready cash.
"'Course we knowod it wasn't ri ht to yield to temptation that 'way, an'
'specially that kind of a te ptation. But like ever'ody else Bob an' me was
jest human an' when you figger it out ever' human they is or ever was or ever
will be yields more or less to sol.e sort of a cussed temptition sooner or
later.
"So, maybe if Bob an' me did yield to that skunk-skinnint temptation
once in a while, an' like we did I-Gawd, perhaps we was jest bein' human after
all an' amne:', if I can see why th' hell any other human that'd more'n likely
done the same t-ia if they'd been tempted to skin them cussed skunks like
Bob an' me was ou7ht to blame us for doin' what they'd probtly done theirselves.
"No, sir, I -Gaud I can't.
"jut, 'course to be plumb honest about it maybe Bob an' meld ought to
boon stroner-willed an' resisted our temptation to skin them damn skunks
'cause when we'd s7it all flavored up with their cussed smell Mu she'd have
to suffer as much as
Bob an' ma did. Natcherally, that wasn't fair to Yam
'cause as far as I know, I-Gawd she never skun a doggone skunk in her life ant
prob'ly never would have even if her doggone life depended on it.
"Yes, sir, I realize now that Bob ant me sure as hell done Nam wrong by
gittin' ourselves flavored up with skunk -small an' then poor Lam havin' to
6_011 it with us...an' ,i,ake her suffer too.
-10
"No, sir, I-Gawd, we hadn't ought to done it& 'Cause no damn man'
ain't cot no damn right to yield to no damn temptation like skinnint skunks
or any other da-n thing --an' git all flavored ul with skunk -smell an' make
somebody smell it too.
"I-Gawd, that ain't right. -eoirle ought to think twit, or evon oftener,
'fore yieldint to their damn temil,tation to skin a few skunks or somethint an'
figger out if its goin' to result in somebody else that's ;21umb innocent
havin1 to smell th' doggone skunk -smell they it theirselves flavored with an'
suffer also th° same as theirselves.
"But Bol) an' me was so 'fatuated with th' idea of skinflint them cilsed
skunks, 'cause their skins was th' same as ready cash we never stopped to
realize how muoh Mam Lii:ht have to suffer also smellint th' skunk flavor on
us-- Virhich snows, I-Gawd, that -eo7lets all alike, when they it to thinkin'
of theirselves, I--osh they jest natcherally don't think of nobody or nothin'
else but their tamned selves ant nobody else.
"Even us Pioneers of th' Far west in th' early days, like Bob an' me,
ant who'd a -died any damn day for Lam if she'd a -needed it, I-Gawd, wasn't
elways a7, thoughtful ant considerate of our mimLen-Floneers as we'd ought to
a -been.
"Yeah, I -Gad, we wasn't, an 'cause we wasn't ;41214 she had to smell 'job's
an' my skunk flavor an' suffer also.
"It makes me plumb ashamed when I -blink about it, but I-Gawd that's th'
way it was ant regrettint it or bein' ashamed ain't goin' to do no good 'cause
when a damned thing's done she's done ant that's all they is to it-- It ain't
goin' to be un-did by no damned beint ashamed or regrettin'. Th' only thing
that does a cussed bit of good is not to do th' dadgumred thing in th' first
-11
place.
"Yeah, I-Gamd, that's th' way it is an' Mem she suffered. She sure
as hell did.
"3ut Ham was awful patient an' she didn't want to comulain or do nothin'
that would interfere with Bob's an' my schemes, or disc urage us none or break
our spirits or nothin', so she kept still jest as long I-Gavd as she could.
That's th' way them mimmen-Pioneers was, they'd jest natcherally go through
hell an' brimstone 'fore they'd discourage or break th' spirits of us
en
Pioneers in the Far West in th' early days. They knowed damn well that if
they whined an' belly -ached till they broke our doggone spirits we never
would be worth a damn anymore-- We'd jest be like a poor darned broncho that's
had us spirit broke b bein' jerked anl abused an' kicked an' beat over th'
head by some danged fool while he was breakint him.
"Yeah, I-Gawd, them mimmen-Pioneers of till Far West didn't want us men
Pioneers to be no damned...worms...
"They sure as hell didn't.
"So, Main stood Bob's an' my skunk -smell 'Val she jest couldn't stand it
no longer. An' finally, I-Gawd, in self-defense she jest had to up an' resist
an' speak her mind:
"'Bob White, an' you too Steve Robertson,' Main said one evenin' at supper
when ;ob ant me had a little more skunk -flavor on us than usual, in fact so
danced much it practically spoilt Main's supper, 'Bob White,' Wm said, 'you
an' Steve Robertson's jest gotta quit skinflint them cussed skunks ant gittin'
all flavored up with skunk -smell. I jest can't endure it another doggone day
or night either for that matter. My appetite's already practically ruin't by
it an' I ain't had a decent night sleepint for Gawd knows how long. If anybody
thinks its any pleasure to sleep with a man that Lm0118 as 'skunky' as you do
-12
wean yo: 'oeo tc ")ed, Job 7.hite, all I L,otta say is that they's eot a darned
iesaiar id3a of what leasure consists of-- If a woman's gotta sleep with
s'skeek-smellin' man she'd jest as well not sleep with any doggone an as far
as it'„ beim' pleasant's concerned. For myself, I-Gawd, I jest wont do it
anymore!' Yen says.
"IGoeelemi-hty, Them,' Bob says, awful reeretful, 'I never drelmt (dreamed)
you felt that way about me an Stave havin' skunh-flevor on us fro!' ski:In:int
them damnee s'unkst elhy, damnit, Uam, I rouldi't be un-aereeable for you to
sleee with for all thy damned skunk -skins in th' whole clanged world, an' I-Gawd
,ou gotta admet that's a :ell of a lot of skuek-skies, !eql!' 'Art jest to
:rove it,' Bob says, I'll promise on my Lacr'd word never to skin another
doggone skunk as lone as I live-- Hell, Lam, they ain't nothin' I wouldn't
do 'fore I'd .o anyteilv to make it so's it would't i)e. a eleasuro for you to
sleol viik ec, Llaml 'onost, tiGawd they a'n't!' Bob says plumb earnest.
"7011, if yel want ,ac to it oy enjoyment out of slespinl with you, Bob
?Lite, or with eatie' with you or elth eein° around you in any sha-e whatever,'
Mam says, erim-like, II-Gav11 you'd better not skin no ,ore skunks, that's all
I ;:ot to sayt'
"am, she was plumb in earnest an' so was Bob. An' as far as I know he
never did skin another doeeono skunk in eis life.
"Jut that didn't keep hie from ylshinl for them skunk -skins 'cause every
darned me of 'em was jest the same as ready cash. An' sere all them whole
damn herds of skunks runnint 'round like they was, re, a awful temptation.
"2e) waeted them damn skunk -skins terrible ut he'd promised Lam on Lis
saorld word he wouldn't never skin another eassed skunk an I-Cawd a Pioneer
like Bob ant we was would rather die than break his doggone promise...
-13
"So, that's the way it was till one day Bob cot his idea. It was a hell
of a idea, I cotta admt. :el- TEE ::11-aab -rcited about it when he got it. But
as far as I was concerned I hed my doubts richt from the start.
"Bob's ide, was to cross -breed h:-'cLuck-.-allahse (which shed their skins)
with sno-skunks or vicey-vercey whichever wc-.,c plaasabler, an' raise rhat he
called 'skunk -wallahs
"I -Gard, it'll work:' Bob says, are when them damn 'skunk -wallahs'
unskin theirselves all we cotta do is co :lit an' gather u, the donone skins
an' ever' cussed ene ofees-.'11 be jest th' same as ready cash like reglear
skunk -skins '_81'
"'Yeah,' I says, 'but her de ye'.: damn tiincs I 11 cross -breed to
start with, an' also hew tn' hell
oine to ind out if a cussed chwk-
walla:'s a he -c ,oc-willeh or a se-cl-,ck-valla', I-rard, that's what I'd like
to knoll Llso,ix a ition, ac fvr as Ien. concerned,' I says, 'the Lame
applies to C-2aks. rers'nally, I ai It :ev r yet been alle to toll r he -skunk
from L ke-s'-uzk jet hy loc)?tne at 'cm from a distance an' I-Gawd that'c the
only arysd: his right mind wants tc, or is -oit' te look at ten,' I says.'
hell, we'll jest have to take a chanc't or that,' Pob says, 'I'll fix
so -e cross-breedine corrals an' then make some chuck-wtllah traps to ketch
my start :f chuck-y.allahs in an' also s me sl-,m1- trais tc ketoll semr esunks to
cress-bre d with, an' I -Gard, we'll sore 'em out the best we can, after which
*e'll ut tk' he-chtck-wallahs with uh' nL-s-unks, en' te
with the '-o-sks Pne sooner or later one or the isLer's jest bound to crnss-
breed. Hell, if that damn rexican down in t -e 3ic Bend, Texas -Mexico c-untry
c-uld cross -breed he-doc-s with she -!-cats au' raise them damn -kids' they
a'Ln't no reasnr earth why we can't cross -breed he -skunks with she-:huck-
wallahs or jest the opposite as the case night bet Bob says plumb enthusiastic.
I-Gawd, Nam an' me put in two miserable damned months helpin'
Bob sort out his he -skunks from his she -skunks anI also she -chuck -.wallahs from
he -chuck -wallahs an' in additicn, Lam she jest danged nigh wore herself out
catchin' rormen-oriokets to feed th' darned things on...(It was down in th'
southeast corner of Nevada where they's a hell of a lot of Lormon-orickets an'
also th' cussed country is practically saturated with th' biTgest chuck -wallahs
you ever seen an' more damn skunks I-Gawd than anywhere else in th' world.)
"Bob, he ggered if we fed 'em on 'r:orson-orickets'--which is big an'
fat an' awful juicy —they'd cross -breed quicker an' more effective.
"For two whole damn months Nam an' me stood it.
"Yeah, for twomhole miserable months Nam an' me slaved an' worked tryin'
to help 3ob Eit them cussed chuck -wallahs to cross -breed with them doggone
skunks an' raise iskiinlr-wallahs' which would be practically 'self-skinnin'
skunks--
"Finally Nam, she couldn't stand it no longer so she said:
"'Bob White, an' you too, Steve Robertson, we're gittin out of this
cussed country an' 7oint where they ain't so danged many skunks to tempt you
with their skins! Ant also, where I hope they ain't no dcrzone chunk -wallahs
a-talll I'm plumb sick of tryinl to tell a he -chuck -wallah from a she -chuck
wallah an' a shL-skunk from a he -skunk... An' in addition, I'm also sick an'
wore out from catchin' Lormon-crickets to feed th' damn things on while they're
tryin' to make up their minds to cross -breed or not! So, I-Gawd, we're gittin'
out of here-- That's all they is to itl'
"Well, Bob knowed they wasn't no use arguin' with Mem whenever she did
finally speak out her mind like that, so, I-Gawd that's what we done. We ot
out of there ani come on up here to Idaho--
-15
"So that's th' way it was. An' I don't know yet, an' I don't give a
damn, whether them cussed he -chuck -wallahs ever did cross -breed with them
dogTone she -skunks, or jest th' opposite an' raise them darned self-skinnin'
skunk -wallahs Bob Wite hoped to hell they'd raise.
"Hell, they may ti1l b- tryLn' it as far as I cnow, but one thing I do
know goddam well an' that is that .ob nite NUG awful disappointed
"Which men...not only us Pioneers of till Far Vet, but till whole damn
works usually is when they try to be smarter'n Natcheure...
!Hell, we'd better git to beat
The End.