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ONE COPY WITH THE WOODRUM COMMITTEE
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Herman Spector
POSTAL TELEGRAPH
Howsa wedduh? It's drastic. Rainin cats an dogs, an I stepped
in a puddle of it. My mudder should see me now. She'd gimme hell.
But dat's life, ain't it? Oh, I'm loinin. I'm no dummy. I'm oney
on de job a few munts, but I'm loinin. Like now, I'm stallin. Ya
tink I ain't gettin paid for die? I'm gettin paid fer dis. Looka
-me what I'm sayin! It's de troot, dough, ya gotta stall. Dey don't
give ya time to breed. Ya know de sayin: Lincoln freed de slaves?
Put FT's puttin em back again. Dat's de troot. I'll never forget
de foist delivry. I ran like hell. I was green, whaddeya expect?
No more, dough. I don't run no more.
Dere's nuttin to it, dis job. Nuttin ever happens. Not even
tips. De monotony kills ya. Once in a while we have fights, sure,'
but nuttin outta de way, what ye'd call interestin. Once in a while
dere's a battle royal. Not over nuttin at all. Just like dis. Oh
yeah, de foist day out dey stole my watch. Put dat in it. Dere's
crooked in dis outfit. Ya gotta chain yer pants dawn. But we get
along alright. Dey call me two -ton, two gun, anyting. Dere's nine
of us in dis branch. De fellas? Regalia fellas: hardboiled types,
ya know. De manager is O.K. Say, ya know what we gonna do Tanks giving?
We gonna hire out a horse, put a uniform on him, an ride. Like dis.
Just for a laugh. To show people. Dey call us horses. So dere you
are. Naw, it's no more mutts horses. Know what I do when I see
one of dose Western Union guys? I go 1 whypp, whyppl
(whistling. derisively.) Well, I guess I betta scrambefore da boss
catches wise. Solongl
Herman Spector
HANSOM IS AS HANSOM DOES
She was a real fine-looking lady. They used to dress pretty
in those days, especially the ladies, they sat in my coach so nice
and neat you could see them from top to bottom. It was in the
wintertime, real cold, it don't get cold as that anymore. She had
a little black box with her, I remember she told no to be very care-
ful with it, she made no put it right between my feet on the step
"don't let it out of your sight one minute," she said. We went to
the bank over on Avenue C. The snow was so deep that the bottom
of the poach was dragging, that's how heavy it snowed in those days.
And will you believe it, when we came to the bank and I handed the
box back to her she told me there was a quarter of a million dollars
in it Oh, it was quite safe, there was no holding -ups in the city
then. We never heard of such things then. They weren't so bold,
you know. There were train robberies, yes, but they didn't compare
to what goes on nowadays daylight robberies and things. It was
more peaceful.
People would be peaceful, if they'd let em. These big managers
want to hog it all. That's the may it is. They don't realize it,
but all they've got is the pro -duce of the laboring man. That's the
truth, but they won't admit it. Well, it may be bold of me to say
it, but that's my belief. Whatever they got is taken from the pro-
duoe of the laborer. The President knows it. He's putting the country
back on its feet. Why this country was in such bad shape when he took
charge of the government, it's hard to say what would have happened&
Would have been a lot worse if the Republicans were in. You know it,
and I know it. They only want the rich to get back in power, that's
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what they want. But I don't think they'll get. No sir, don't think
they will
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Haw old do ye think I am? 79... Yes sir, I'm 79. See that
coach standing there? She's over thirty years old. And just as
trim and fine as the day she was built. Wheels, crossbars, springs;
Why, you could go over every part of her, I bet you couldn't slip
a pencil through anyplace! They don't make em like that anymore.
The first one of them coaches was made special for Queen Victoria.
That's how the name came out, Victories. Yes,sir. Paid eleven
hundred for her, new, an I wouldn't part with her for the fanciest
autermobile goin. Oh, I've got nothing against the autermobile.
It's all right, if you want to get there fast. But people who like
to ride slow, look around at the scenery, we take them. It's enjoy-
able, ye. know. When the sun is out, the park all green I have
a man, American Terbacker man, always rides up to 110th Street and
back in the summer. Just for the sun. Belll ride all the way up
with us, going at a trot, then he'll say "Turn around, and walk the
horse." And we'll go back, him with his face right in the sun, get-
ting the full benefit of it, and when we get back he'll give me a
five dollar bill. Every day, almost, in the summer. Oh, he's a
fine man. He don't like these autermobiles, except for business.
"But when I want to enjoy myself," he says, "I prefer a horse and
carriage."
That's the way it is. Everybody had different tastes. I think
people generally are alright, just let them aloni. There's good and
there's bad in all walks of life. That's what I say. Yes, that's a
good horse there. He's pretty smart, too. He's neighing now because
he wants to go home. Almost time to go home now. We don't stay here
later than five -five -thirty.... Oh, that? Sure, he let it go, now
he won't MOVe from the spot, it keeps him warm. Got all the good out
of it that was in it now he let it go. Same way with you, ain't it?
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Get all the good out of a thing, then drop it. That's commonsense,
ain't it? That's good horse sense