Document text
February, 1939.
,iooert Lee vright,
6alisbury, C.
Attorney at Law
Tiilliam Edward hennessee, writer.
COUN''SELOR-AT-LAW
Original Name Changed Name
Robert Lee Wright Stonewall Dexter
COUNSELOR -AT -LAW'
Slowly, along the hot and dusty Carolina road moved a
battered Studebaker wagon. Sitting in the straw of its bed
were Jefferson Davis, Stonewall Jackson, Julius Caesar and
Naopleon sonaparte. This was no assembly of the great in
Valhalla nor was it a dream of past glories. These were
the Dexter children in the year 1875. The Dexters were
moving in on Drytown.
In addition to those bearers of great names there were
Pa and Ma Dexter. Pa was a little cricket of a man, sun-
burned and deeply lined. His feet, encased in enormous
boots hung negligently over the dasnooard but now and then
landed with empnasis on tne latter part of the mule's
anatomy. Pa had been raised "down in ildssissip" in the
gumbo mud country. He was first shod at twenty in a pair
of boots, washed into his front yard by tne turbulent
river. .,hey had been made for a larger man, but they
suited Pa exactly. From then on his boots, when he was
shod, were large and spacious. "Clumpin' Billy" he had
been called by the soldiers whom ne nad sutlared during
the recent strife. Ae always said that shoes "binded"
him.
Ma Dexter, an ample unsmiling woman, had borne
Clumpin' Billy four sons in five years and had worked
his fields and tended his stock while doing so. Her labors
of both kinds had left their marks. But, in spite of her
dead expression, her seeming impassivity, there was iron
in hia Dexter's soul. A few months before, while preparing
their dinner, sne had lifted from over the kitchen door
Pa's old squirrel rifle, shut a marauding negro slinking
across his barn lot and, without going out to ascertain
the extent of her damage to his carcass, had returned to
the preparation of the meal. To every cackle and chirrup
from her spouse she turned a deaf ear and a jaundiced
eye.
Pa Dexter was proud of his boys. He had little of
knowledge to impart to them but in naming them he drew
upon the combined classical and contemporary knowledge
of himself and Ma. Jefferson Davis, he knew, was almost
deified by all southerners. Stonewall Jackson had
kicked him in the pants when he had noisily driven his
sutler's wagon into Jackson's camp at midnight. Julius
Caesar and Napoleon Bonaparte were legendary figures
from the Bible, he reckoned, anyway they had been great
and famous and probably worthy of passing their names to
two of the Dexter progeny.
"hose there names, now I give 'em boys sumpin' to
live up to right from the start. iiebbe I can't ever give
em much else, but they'll allus hey to say their Pa an'
Ma started 'em out right."
As a sutler Pa had milked both armies. Each desperately
needed certain supplies which could be obtained only from
the other, so both had shut tired eyes and, with tongue
in cheek, had allowed Pa full access behind the lines. At
first both sides had tried to extract military information
from him; both had employed him as a spy and both had. been
unsuccessful. He had said that he was willing and had
drawn spy's pay from both sides but the only things he
saw were the looks and amounts and pieces of goods to be
bought, sold or batered. Finally both armies suffered
his mercantile services and avoided him as a source of
military information.
But Pa had seen more than he told. He had seen that
the Confederacy was in desperate straits and he therefore
sold the medical supplies which he brought down from
Baltimore only for virtually their own weight in rare
southern gold. With very little of this he had bought
many bales of the cotton drugging the southern markets
and sold it for good Yankee gold to frantic, cotton
hungry manufacturers of the flimsy Union uniforms. Pa
had "done right well for hisself" and, now that taxes were
confiscating much valuable real estate in the reconstructed
south, he "lowed he'd buy a mite of it, mebbe";,might be
good policy, he thought.
For policy and gold were Pa's lares and penates. Gold,
he had found, was power, and policy was a watchword to govern
his every thought and act. It was the one moral lesson
inculcated into the characters of his brood. It was his
and became their slo6an, their deux-ex-machina.
Pa did not vote in Drytown. he did not express political
opinion. It was not good policy. He knew that he had to
live his life among southern democrats and ne wanted contracts
again to supply northern republicans, both soldiers and laymen
who were overseeing the gentle Reconstruction. 6o he didn't
take sides just yet.
Thus the Dexters moved in on Drytown. They camped in
Fraley's lieadow until Pa could pick up a good bargain in a
house at a forced sale. Then they moved in. Pa had bought
the furniture too but it didn't suit either him or ia. They
sold the old, dark mahogany and rosewood to some negroes
and bought freely of the new golden oak and rococo walnut
which was beginning to be sold to gladden the hearts of
.the newly wealthy.
but if it wasn't good policy to join a political party,
Pa knew that it was good policy to join a church. He there-
fore went up town one Sunday to overlook the various congre-
gations.
"Now hit's like this, Ma", he started at the dinner
table that noon, "I looked 'em all over and ti,e best
dressed an' the most haughty like an' unsmilin' of 'em
all was the 'Piscopals. Now the pot keeps a-bilin' an'
a-bilin' 'till finally what's been on the bottom gits
to tne top. Hit's our day now an' tne Dexters is the top
of the pot, Maw. The top of the pot, I tell you. So
we'll all jine the 'Piscopal church an' be somebody."
But such was not to be. 1,4ext day Pa went to see
the really reverend Dr. Sparrow, the Episcopal rector. He
began his application with a more or less minute summary
of his financial condition and ended by informing the
staid rector that the Dexters had now become the top
of the pot and tnerefore desired admittance to St. !Fark's
Church.
"Mr. Dexter", answered the unsmiling rector, calling
all the finessee and discernment of his cavalier ancestors
to his aid in this barbarian assault upon the sacred
traditions of his charge, "I'm very glad that you and
your family have decided to adopt the Episcopal faith.
It will be great pleasure to nave you as a communicant
and a real addition to the church, I assure you. However,
to be perfectly frank, there are no vacancies on our church
rolls at the present time. Depend upon it though that I
shall place your name upon our waiting list and should a
vacancy occur, I shall be only too glad to inform you."
Pa Dexter was very pleased at this hospitality and
so informed his family. however, vacancies seemed rare
in the Episcopal "waiting list" and not wanting to be
longer without religious affiliation he struck upon an
excellent idea.
"Now, you boys, your Pa's goin' to give you our
policy from now on. Napoleon, you're the youngest and hit
takes a long time to be a doctor and a doctor needs a
lot of patients 'cause most of 'em don't pay anyhow. So
I want that you be a baptist, 'cause there's more of 'em.
"Stonewall, you're the smartest an' the most argufyin'
so I want you to be a lawyer. Now these here Presbyterians
has got all the money and is the heads of most of the bus-
inesses, so I want that you be a Presbyterian.
"Jeff, these here Germans set a site of store about
buryin' their dead folks proper and fancy and they're all
Lutherans. Now I want that you be a undertaker and a
Lutheran.
"An' Julius, you can be a druggist an' a Methodist.
Those are about the only two left an' you seem like you're
gonna be right no 'count anyway, so it don't make much
difference. Now me and your Lila, we'll just set back and
be indifferent like and go to church with each one of you
kinda turn about.
"So you boys do like I say an' be wnat I say an' jine
what I tell you an' watch your policy an' then you'll see;
the Dexters is the top of the pot an' no matter how much
the pot biles, they're gonna stay right tnere on top."
Blumpin' Billy lived for many years. He lived to see
all of his sons follow the vocations and religious policies
which he had urged. He saw each of tnem an officer in his
respective church. But Julius didn't remain one long. He
put one Saturday night entirely too close to Sunday morning
and, tipsy and uncertain, stumbled with collection plate
and was helped from the church and barred from the steward-
ship. His drug store soon liquified and disappeared down
his thirsty gullet, so Pa bougnt him some brusnes and ladders
(hoping secretly he would break his neck which he later
did) and set him up as a house painter.
'Ycliu can't leastways drink the paint an' you always
was right artistic. Reckon that's why you ain't no good",
he told him.
But Stonewall and Napoleon and Jefferson worked and
prospered. Slight, pale and somewhat dandified counterparts
of Clumpint Billy, each took his place in the business and
religious, if not quite in the social, life of the community.
From doctor, to undertaker, to lawyer, as from Tinker
to Evers to Chance, each dovetailed with and covered for
the others. Birth, health, death and material prosperity,
they catered to the imperative needs, the basic occurrences
of life.
Stonewall, as Pa Dexter had long before stated, was the
smartest. When i4apoleon "saw a girl out of a fix" or gave
a man too many prescriptions for "misery pills", it was
Stonewall who quieted things and eased the cases around the
courts. nhen Jefferson saw slim chances of collecting burial
expenses from an estate, it was Stonewall who had himself
appointed administrator and saw his brothers as preferred
creditors only.
laighty in politics too became Stonewall. He had
allied himself by marriage with a slightly faded, very
maidenly, ugly duckling, daughter of one of the county's
financial and political barons. He thus assured himself
political preferment and his wife future financial
emolument.
The state began to be agitated by a temperance movement
and Stonewall did a surprising thing. Although Drytown and
the surrounding county, including the ruling political ring,
was dripping wet, although all the money, tne important
money, had been derived from or was dependent upon the
"liquor interests", he aligned himself whole-heartedly
with the dry cause.
His father-in-law who, though retired from business
and political activity, was a mild wet and who had here-
tofore steered his political course and advised as to
his policies, became rather surprised and went to him
for an explanation.
"It's policy, sir, policy", Stonewall explained.
"My old father was anactremely wise man. He always insisted
that we adopt a definite policy on every issue and stick
to it. Now I have never indulged in intoxicants. I don't
believe in drinking besides I don't like tile taste of
liquor and it disagrees with my stomach. I nave no
money invested in liquor in any way for I have long foreseen
the coming of state-wide prohibition.
"There are also other considerations. I represent,
as you know, a great many of the liquor interests and
those engaged, legally or illegally, in the business.
Now would they want a 'wet' to represent them? Decidedly
no. When I go into court there are thirteen men I must
consider: a judge and twelve jurymen. Now suppose the
judge is a wet. If he is to lean either way it will be
toward my wet clients; but suppose he is a dry, then I shall
have his consideration. And as with tne judge so and more so
with the jury. The wets will be with my client, the drys
with me. We shall have them coming and going.
"It's like Cyrus Johnston's will. Cyrus came to me
and said that he wanted to leave all his money to his
friends and exclude his kinfolk. He was an old bachelor
and had no immediate family. He said that his will had been
worrying him considerably. He was afraid that his kin would
try to break it and succeed. I told him that I could draw
one that would absolutely hold and I did. He left the
Presbyterian, the Lutheran, the tiethodist and the Baptist
churches each one hundred dollars and I defy anyone to
break a will like that. Why? It's very simple, sir: in
this county you could hardly assemble a jury wherein at
least ninety percent of the personnel is not affiliated
with those four faiths. Now if you creak one part of a
will, you break it all and can you imagine a bunch of men
throwing aside a will wnerein their cnurcn was beneficiary?
"It's policy, sir, and a good one, I think. And
besides, sir, I see tne signs of the times, I believe.
The state snail in a fiti years ue dry, and I, as a leader,
shall be among the winners. Besides the attendant publicity--"
And so Stonewall became a dry.
Even more than Clumpin' Billy's life, Stonewall's was
dictated by policy. It finally became an obsession. He
would not speak, he would not act until his mind had rapidly
thought out the effect. Each sentence, each i.,osture was
dictated by his mind and by a prearranged plan. His soul
became a script in the play of his life. From arising to
retiring he was the hero or the villain, but never the
comedian, in his petty puppet show of existence.
In spite of nis wispy size he always managed to dress
so that he stood out from the common nerd. Never loudly
dressed, but always just a little differently habited.
Striped trousers, a black frock coat, white shirt and
string bow was his habitual adornment, while a broad
brimmed, black planter's hat and heavy ebony cane (loaded)
completed the ensemble. His brc)thers dressed likewise.
It was rather fortunate how it came about.
Stebbins ran a clothing store. Stebbins' wife became
ill and after due and careful attention on the part of
Dr. Dexter she became a chronic invalid requiring many
visits from him, who was the clan Casanova. After many
years the doctor closed her eyes in eternal sleep and
Jefferson lowered her into her final resting place.
But the expense of it all nad been too much for Mr.
Stebbins' business. He could not meet tne statements of
the Messrs. Dexter. So Dr. Dexter petitioned for a
receivership for Stebbins and Company. Jefferson was another
creditor and was appointed receiver and Honorable Stonewall
Jackson Dexter, attorney and counselor -at -law, practice in
State and Federal Courts, became in nis twofold capacity,
attorney for the receiver and attorney for the creditors.
Without so much as a ripple, without so much as a
change of name, Stebbins and Company became nothing at
all. The assets had strangely diminished, almost dis-
appeared. So Dexter, Dexter and Dexter took stock for
their various and sundry fees and credits --and that was
that.
And the Dexters became well dressed for life, unvarying
as was their dress, it was first stylish, then conservative,
then quaint, as the years rolled by; but though monotonous,
it was always slightly outstanding.
With the clothes Stonewall developed and maintained
an air, a poise, a pose, as distinctive and unique as his
mincing walk. He was always calm, suave and deliberate.
His unlighted cigar, which lasted, as part of his stage
setting, from breakfast until supper, always protruded
from the corner of his mouth or from his fingers folded
over his loaded cane. It was his wand, his baton, his
focal point. His speech was low and clear. He bit off
the end of each phrase and sentence with the same finality
which snapped off the frayed or cnewed ends of his cigar.
His motions and gestures were unhurried and circular. Rarely,
even in his most passionate flights of oratory did he raise his
voice or make a gesture in the horizontal or vertical planes.
When his voice was raised, it squeaked.
The cane was his bulwark and his defense. ihough with
hardly the bravery of a mole, he strutted and threatened and
brandished the cane. He took particular pains to keep the
public informed that the cane was loaded and that he kept a
long, razor-sharpe knife in his hip pocket. So, many men
would smile and allow him considerable verbal freedom rather
than brave the cane or the knife.
Many tricks were up his broadcloth sleeves.
It is said that while solicitor of the county police
court in his younger days, he postponed from time to time for
many weeks the prosecution of a notorious bootlegger. It was
understood that the defendant had been caught with the goods
and intended pleading guilty anyway when tried. The matter
finally became so flagrant that one day, during Dexter's
absence, the case was called up for trial by the judge and the
defendant, as was expected, pleaded guilty. Before
sentence, the judge asked him why his case nad been
postponed.
"Why, Judge," the bootlegger innocently, for
replied, "I got caught by the Federal officers just
sheriff caught me in this matter. I went and hired
to defend me in the Federal Court and he postponed
passing
so long
once,
after the
Mr. Dexter
this case
because he said he didn't want to convict me in this case
until after he had cleared me in the Federal Court."
But his tricks were not always of the shady variety.
Sometimes they savored almost of genius. He was a rough and
ready psychologist of no little ability.
Once, when defending a hardened thief from another
county, he cleared him purely and simply by a pseudonym.
Jake Potts was a bad man. He was a drunkard, a ramping,
ravaging gutter Dionysus, and a thief of the first water. But
he was a good-hearted thief and among the half -world of
Priceville, where he lived, he had many friends.
But on this occasion Jake had departed the environs of
Priceville in his thieving and had tried it in Drytown and was
promptly caught with the goods upon him. He had very little,
if any, defense and practically no character of a speakable
nauure, with which to strengthen his defense. But Stonewall
was not a whit dismayed or disheartened.
"Jake", he informed his client, "I want you to get every
acquaintance of yours from Priceville who can muster carfare
to come down here for the trial. We'll want them for character
witnesses."
"Character witnesses": gasped Jake. "Lord love you,
counsellor, I got no character. Everybody in Priceville knows
I'd steal anything that ain't nailed down but a red hot stove.
How'm I going to get character witness?"
"Don't you worry about that, Jake", advised Stonewall.
"You get them here in numbers and I'll make character witnesses
out of them without their knowing it. And I'll clear you, too.
The more there are of them the surer you are of acquittal."
It was always his policy to use as many witnesses
as possible. Most farmers like the dollar a day and
mileage they got for coming to court, not to speak of the
holiday from work. It made them friendly. Besides he got
to meet and know that many more people and each in turn,
for possible future business, learned the location of his
office. And, if he lost, there were more people to ex-
plain the loss in their communities, as no one relished
testifying on the wrong side. If he won there would be
more to sing his praises and witness his victory.
So Jake went back to Priceville and returned the day
of his trial with all the rag -tag and bob -tail of his
community, but a well -washed and well -shaved and well
brushed rag -tag.
Immediately after the trial opened Stonewall played
his trump card. He christened lying, stealing, Jake Potts,
"Honest Jake:"
As each witness, numbers and legions of them it seemed,
was examined he was asked many questions about "Honest Jake".
Hundreds of times he managed to bring up the name "Honest
Jake". He even had the officers referring to the defendant
as "Honest Jake". It became a part of him as much as his
red nose and spotted vest. Honesty and Jake became synonymous.
The appellation was hammered so steadily, so incessantly
into the conscious and subconscious minds of each juryman
that, almost indisputable evidence to the contrary not-
withstanding, without leaving the box, the jury acquitted
"Honest Jake". The judge was forced to order the nams,
res gestae of the larceny, turned over again to the defen-
dant. Mrs. Dexter had country ham at her next book -club
meeting.
On another occasion in an important murder trail
Stonewall was examining a very important and very hostile
witness. The witness, an old man, pretended a deafness
which, at least in part, Stonewall doubted. The old man had
a long, curved ear trumpet. When asked a question favorable
to the prosecution, tie managed to hear very well, but when
an embarrassing question was propounded, he went completely
deaf and unable to understand even with the aid of that
long, glistening trumpet.
Things began to look ugly for the defendant and Stone-
wall realized tat unless the old man's testimony was im-
peached before he left the stand, his client stood an
extremely good chance of having his neck stretched until he
was very, very dead. Tne old man became more and more
difficult with his "Hey?" and "Louder, please, bin a mite
deef".
Finally he asked the witness a particularly em-
barrassing question. He ,)hook his head sadly. He couldn't
begin to hear; the ear trumpet was pointed at Stonewall at
a mocking angle. Again Stonewall asked the question but
much louder, and as he asked it again he gradually approached
the site to wnich the trumpet was held. A fourth time the
question was shouted and a fifth. .0y this time he was back
of the old man and out of his range of vision.
Then the tactics changed.
"Mr. White, you're considered one of the leading
farmers in your comAunity are you not?"
This, asked in a moderate voice, was different. The
witness heard it readily and answered in the affirmative.
"Mr. White," gradually putting his hand over the
end of the trumpet, Stonewall almost purred the question,
"You have the reputation of being an honest, and truthful
man, have you not?"
Mr. White, ear trumpet clearly stopped up and therefore
useless, readily heard and answered.
And then Mr. White, whose unsupported word had almost
stretched the neck of Stonewall's client, stood dis-
credited by his own ears.
But Shakespeare was Stonewall's true love, or so he
said on many occasions. He quoted him in every case from a
dog fight to a crap game. To each jury he imparted some
Shakespearian love and quotation. To Dexter every line of
beauty written in the English language or translated there-
into was Shakespeare, every line of poetry, every profound
philosophical quotation was "from Shakespeare, gentlemen,
the bard of Avon."
There were some mean enough to claim that he had
never even read Shakespeare and that the set which reposed
in a prominent place in his office library had its pages
still uncut. It was even said by these mean people that he
had been sold the set in an unguarded moment by a slick book
drummer who said it was the "latest autographed edition."
And truly upon the title page of each volume was a facsimile of
the bard
s signature
Stonewall was not even embarrassed at the titter of
bench and bar when an out-of-town contemporary, while opposing
him and addressing the jury quoted from the psalms and said:
"And that, my friends of the jury, is from the immortal
Shakespeare's "David and Goliath" as my opponent, Mr. Dexter,
scholar that he is, will no doubt verifty."
"You are right for once", agreed Stonewall, "I remember
the passage clearly. It is from the third act."
But, sad o relate, our hero never attained his real
goal. Money he had made and invested well. He was wealthy
as wealth was reckoned in Drytown; but this was not enough.
wanted a judgeship; the "mister" prefixing his name be-
came obnoxious. He had been recorder in the petty county
court and this bore with the office the courtesy title of
"judge". But somehow it wasn't the same thing.
Stonewall ran for judge twice. He was ignominiously
defeated both times. Even his best clients, men whose property
and liberty he had saved by his astuteness and trickery, re-
fused him their sup,ort. They admired, purchased and used
his brains, his schemes, his pretty tricks at the bar, but on
the bench they wanted no more of them or him.
But two there were to whom he was "the judge" his
wife and his faithful cook. When he entered his portals, he
became Judge Dexter, the patrician southern gentleman, a
Randolph, a Ruffin, yea, even a Marshall. With his wife it
was "Judge Dexter says this and so". She never called him
Stony, or Dex, or even Stonewall. With iiunt TiIdy it was
mornin', Jedge" and 'Evenin', Jedge". Truly in his home
he was an unsung Coke or Blackstone.
And, ah, that home that Stonewall had builded! The
house might have been the ancestral demesne of a Fairfax or
a Langhorne, but the lot was too small and geranium beds
surrounded each transplanted and somewhat dusty boxwood.
The tall Georgian columns appeared from a distance to
be arising from the public sidewalk and the front door,
beaming upon it beveled glass the encrusted Dexter escutcheon,
was held open by a grinning Mickey Mouse in red pants.
But the Dexter arms are beautiful. A large execution
was framed in the entrance hallway and carved elaborately upon
the newel post. It makes no difference that metal is blazoned
upon metal or color upon color therein; it Itatters little
that ducal supporters are blazoned with the helmet of a prince,
the arms are beautiful and large and well displayed, showing
both imagination and ingenuity on the part of the artist, and
beauty is, after all, what counts.
And so we leave"the Judge". From the grub -box back of
of the wagon in Fraley's meadow to the pseudo -ancestral
board under the i_roud Dexter arms is a long jump, but Stonewall
was agile and he made it.
--oo0oo--