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- Subscribe - Contact Us - Rate Card - Place an Ad Archives Revels Classifieds Real Estate Menu Guide Wedding Weather Subscribe Contact Us June 8, 2006 Essentially Ashland The spirit is willing, but ... Lance Pugh A couple of days ago I threw down the gauntlet. As sunny weather approaches and the lure of the lake beckons, it’s time to get the body ready and display the physique in full view of any who might care to cast a gaze. When I rowed for UCLA, the motto on the boathouse wall was: “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” I went. The first step was to take an honest inventory, a candid intake of how I appear to others. I set up the tripod, put on a bathing suit, set the timer and struck some poses. While in my mind I saw a blacksmith’s hammer pounding hot iron on a massive anvil, the traitorous camera, which will be available for next to nothing in my next yard sale, reported that the Hindenburg apparently survived its torching at Lakehurst, New Jersey. While I thought of bulging biceps, coiled quadriceps, the chest of a gorilla, an oak tree for a neck and Popeye forearms, the digital photos indicated that the Pillsbury Doughboy had just completed a six-month binge of HBO, chips and chocolate. Sheer determination Soon I was mowing the yard like a zombie on steroids, this in between push-ups, sit-ups, rope-skipping and shadow-boxing, which, amazingly, I managed to do in the shade. I kept this up for several hours, convinced that sheer effort and determination would tighten things a couple of notches in a matter of hours. Yet I sensed that more was needed. I grabbed my helmet and gloves, and took off on a training ride. I have an advanced wireless computer on my bike that uses GPS to report my speed and direction, while other links feed in my heart rate and elevation. I took off fast and rode like the wind, or thought I did. Unfortunately, there was no tailwind, nor any cooling breeze, to aid my progress. I was passed by a woman pulling two kids in a trailer, some teen riding with his hands over his head and, finally, by a little girl on a very small bike with training wheels. Somewhat discouraged, I pedaled home, only to find my dog, Spooky, holding his leash in his mouth. The way to Muscle Beach I took the hint. We walked down across the railroad tracks, through a meadow, by a construction site, past the skateboard park and through the Plaza. By then I really needed to sit down for a bit, there to reflect on how fit Iron Mike looked while he gazed both into the past and the future. After a sip of water, we headed home, taking shortcuts through the alleys of the Railroad District as my legs started giving out. My back ached so much that I resembled a crab, lurching and clawing my way back to the house. Luckily, the alley route kept me mostly hidden from public view. The lawn did look good, especially the part that was in the shade. I stumbled over to a lush patch and collapsed, secure in the feeling that I had made real progress toward Muscle Beach. I must have drifted off for a few minutes, for I woke in a start from a dream of a pot of boiling water and drawn butter. But I relaxed when I realized that it was only Spooky using me as a salt lick. It was then that my wife, Annette, arrived home and stood over me. Her head swiveled like an attack radar array before she delivered her judgment. “At least the yard is buff,” she remarked, and headed inside. “Essentially Ashland” will appear in this space each Thursday. Lance Pugh can be reached at [email protected]. His forthcoming book is “Essentially Ashland…The Missing Years: 1971-2006.” DailyTidings.com Home Page Archives | Revels | Classifieds | Real Estate Guide | Weather | Subscribe | Contact Us Copyright 2005 Ashland Daily Tidings and Ottaway Newspapers All Rights Reserved Ceramic Piggy Banks Women's & Men's Slippers Accelerate Weightloss Products Backpacks Online Pharmacy Mailing Lists Vegas Travel Guide Search Engine Optimization Student Loans Hammocks Water Filter Custom Made Computers Helzberg Diamonds Online Casinos Community Bonus Casino Mortgage Calculator Security Systems Click Here Advertisement .:Advertisements:. Site Search: RESOURCES - Mail Tribune News - ODOT Road Cams