Document text
- Subscribe - Contact Us - Rate Card - Place an Ad Archives Revels Classifieds Real Estate Menu Guide Wedding Weather Subscribe Contact Us May 18, 2006 MOVIE: In Review Poseidon remake sinks to the bottom By Donald Lind For the Tidings “Poseidon,” the remake of the 1972 Irwin Allen disaster epic breaks a cardinal rule about cheesy disaster movies: if you’re going to film a cheesy disaster movie, at least do it with style. It is remarkable how completely pedestrian this new summer offering is. Besides failing to engage the audience by creating characters to care about, the film does nothing to get the audience pumped for the thrill of escaping a sinking ship. Everything from the plot to the stunts comes across so plainly, that it is a wonder why anyone bothered with this. This review is being written without having seen the original, and so the new film will be judged on its own merits. Though the general consensus calls 1972’s “The Poseidon Adventure” a cheesy ball of yarn and this new version does have its share of eye-rolling moments. The plot is simple: Passengers aboard the luxury liner Poseidon are celebrating New Year’s Eve in various ways. All is well until a rare 150-foot rogue wave comes along and capsizes the giant vessel, trapping all under water. A few survivors (read: the few the camera focused on during the ridiculously short prologue) team up to find a way to the surface rather than risk waiting for outside help. In order to make room for wall-to-wall stunts and suspense, the characters have depth akin to kiddie pool. We have the loner leader of the “team,” Dylan Johns (Josh Lucas); the shady ex-mayor and fireman (Kurt Russell), along with his daughter (Emmy Rossum) and her boyfriend (Mike Vogel); a mother and her quirky son (Jacinda Barrett and Jimmy Bennett), a depressed architect who has been jilted by an old lover (Richard Dreyfuss) and a stowaway (Mia Maestro). Their back stories are told in anecdotal fashion in the film’s first ten minutes. The group spends the next ninety minutes braving raging waters, flash fires, faulty controls and bad writing, trying to make the audience care who dies next. So much time crafting daring escapes to the next level for the heroes, like building a catwalk from one balcony to another or spider-crawling up a ventilation shaft, the dialogue ends up being: “If you don’t (insert the performing of a dangerous stunt here), you die!” Director Wolfgang Petersen made a classic submarine adventure in 1981’s “Das Boot,” and a pretty good true-story sea disaster film in 2000’s “The Perfect Storm.” But he seems to give little to no effort to make this film feel worthwhile. In addition to the bad plot, the scenery looks merely okay pre-and-post-wave, the score is overbearing and the film takes itself too seriously at points. The effects, apart from the big wave look really cheap and weak. The capsize scene is the definite highlight, with the big wave blocking out the moon in a money shot. But ads already gave it away, and nothing else here matches that image. Besides, it looked better in Petersen’s “Perfect Storm.” The actors don’t have much in the way of meaningful dialogue, but the actors have to be commended on the stunt work. It appeared that the actors did most of their stunts themselves, and they did well in physically demanding situations. Apart from that, “Poseidon” is a wash. It is adrift without the benefit of over-the-top cheesy fun. It is just…there. NOW PLAYING Kinky Boots Charlie takes up the reins of the family’s traditional Northhampton shoe business when his father dies. But bankruptcy looms without new orders, so Charlie looks to London for fresh ideas. He discovers through Lola, a sassy cabaret star, a world of outrageous fashion and stylish, erotic boots for men — a niche market a long way from mens classic brogues. Joel Edgerton, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Sarah-Jane Potts, Jemima Rooper. PG-13 for thematic material involving sexuality, and for language/106 min. Tsotsi In Zulu / Xhosa / Afrikaans with English subtitles This South African crime drama goes back six days in the life of a ruthless young gang leader who steals a woman’s car, unaware that her baby is in the back seat. As he comes to care for the child, he begins to rediscover his humanity, dignity, and capacity to love. Based on the novel by Athol Fugard. This year’s Oscar winner for Best Foreign Language Film. Presley Chweneqagae, Mothusi Mogano. R for language and some strong violent content/94 min. CSA: Confederate States of America A faux documentary takes a look at an America where the South won the Civil War. Supposedly produced by a British broadcasting company, the film is presented as a production being shown controversially for the first time on television in the U.S. Through the use of of fabricated movie segments, government information films, commercials, news breaks, as well as actual stock footage from our own history, a provocative story is told of a country which, in many ways, frighteningly follows a parallel with our own. Written and Directed by Kevin Willmott; Narrated by Charles Frank Not Rate/89 min. Thank You for Smoking Nick Naylor, chief spokesman for Big Tobacco, makes his living defending the rights of smokers and cigarette makers. Confronted by health zealots out to ban tobacco, and an opportunistic senator who wants to put poison labels on cigarette packs, Nick goes on a PR offensive. Aaron Eckhart, Robert Duvall, Katie Holmes. R for language and some sexual content/92 min. Going Shopping A boutique owner is thrown into a terminal cash flow bind because of the spendthrift ways of her aging boyfriend. Faced with the seemingly impossible job of raising $40,000 over the weekend, Holly turns to her friends, her mother, and an affable loan shark, with mixed results, while also mounting a huge sale - and trying to shove her bad boyfriend out of her life and welcome in a new, perhaps better one. Directed by Henry Jaglom, written by Victoria Foyt and Henry Jaglom Victoria Foyt, Rob Morrow, Lee Grant, Mae Whitman, Bruce Davison, Jennifer Grant, Cynthia Sikes. PG-13 for brief strong language/106 min. Da Vinci Code A Harvard symbologist is called in to decipher a baffling riddle found near the murdered body of the elderly curator of the Louvre. The cipher leads to a trail of clues hidden in the works of Da Vinci, who was involved in a secret society. But there are those who would protect those secrets. Directed by Ron Howard (“A Brilliant Mind”, “Cinderella Man”) Tom Hanks, Audrey Tautou, Ian McKellen, Alfred Molina, Paul Bettany, Jean Reno. PG-13 for disturbing images, violence, some nudity, thematic material, brief drug references and sexual content/149 min. Poseidon A rogue wave capsizes a luxury liner in the middle of the North Atlantic. As the unstable vessel rapidly floods, deck by deck, a small group of survivors desperately battle to reach the surface. Directed by Wolfgang Peterson (“Das Boot”, “Perfect Storm”) Josh Lucas, Kurt Russell, Richard Dreyfuss, Emmy Rossum, Andre Braugher, Kevin Dillon. PG-13 for intense prolonged sequences of disaster and peril/98 min. Over the Hedge Woodland animals wake up from their hibernation to discover a suburban housing development encroaching on their forest home. As they learn to co-exist with, and even exploit this strange world, some humans become determined to rid their neighborhood of the animals they consider pests. Animated; Voice talents of Bruce Willis, Steve Carrell, Garry Shandling, Allison Janney, Thomas Haden Church, William Shatner, Nick Nolte, Catherine O-Hara, Eugene Levy, Wanda Sykes. PG for some rude humor and mild comic action/83 min. Mission: Impossible 3 Ethan’s mission, should he accept it, is to capture the “Rabbits Foot” and subdue the international terrorist that has eluded authorities worldwide. Directed by J.J. Abrahms (“Lost”, “Alias”) Tom Cruise, Keri Russell, Lawrence Fishburne, Ving Rhams, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Billy Crudup. PG-13 for intense sequences of frenetic violence and menace, disturbing images and some sensuality/126 min. Just My Luck Ashley, a young professional just out of college, has lived a super-charmed life and has always taken her good luck for granted. When she kisses a handsome stranger at a party, she accidentally swaps her good fortune for his horribly bad luck, and her charmed life turns into a living hell. Lindsay Lohan, Chris Pine, Samaire Armstrong, Bree Turner, Faizon Love, Missi Pyle PG-13 for some brief sexual references/103m/F/Fox RV An overworked executive persuades his wife and children to give up their Hawaiian vacation for some “family bonding” on a cross-country RV trip. Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld (“Men in Black”); Starring Robin Williams, Jeff Daniels, Cheryl Hines, Kristin Chenoweth. PG for crude humor, innuendo and language/102 min. DailyTidings.com Home Page Archives | Revels | Classifieds | Real Estate Guide | Weather | Subscribe | Contact Us Copyright 2005 Ashland Daily Tidings and Ottaway Newspapers All Rights Reserved Ceramic Piggy Banks Women's & Men's Slippers Accelerate Weightloss Products Backpacks Online Pharmacy Mailing Lists Vegas Travel Guide Search Engine Optimization Student Loans Hammocks Water Filter Custom Made Computers Helzberg Diamonds Online Casinos Community Bonus Casino Mortgage Calculator Security Systems Click Here Advertisement .:Advertisements:. Site Search: RESOURCES - Mail Tribune News - ODOT Road Cams