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- Subscribe - Contact Us - Rate Card - Place an Ad Archives Revels Classifieds Real Estate Local Scene Wedding Weather Subscribe Contact Us February 14, 2006 For sheer entertainment, the Mid-East action beats duck hunting From the RIGHT side MIKE GREEN Available now! Click here for a 37% discount Americans love a good joke. And why not? Laughter is good medicine and good exercise. Even telling bad jokes is a favorite pastime across the fruited plains. And not unlike a number of European nations, we Americans also find levity in poking fun at the plight of others. Even given circumstances where there is a lack of plight but a desire to develop a bit of mirth exists, we are quite adept at conjuring up reasons to instigate discord and then delight in the reaction of those who are unwitting targets … more commonly referred to as the butt of the joke or prank. Over the past couple of days, unless you've been hanging out on the moon or visiting outside the country on an island devoid of communications of any kind, then you know that the vice president shot his buddy during a bird hunt. And you've likely been subjected to as many remarks regarding both men as I have. I will not bore you with another. Insert your own joke here. While the entire nation has been preoccupied with a focus, humorous or otherwise, on the vice president's predilections and mishaps, a number of very serious news stories may have gone unnoticed. Before Dick Cheney pushed aside the notorious Washington D.C. lobbyist Jack Abramoff to become the number one favorite target of cartoonists in the U.S., the American public was up in arms about the illicit dealings that have funded a number of our leaders' rise to power. Today, we learn that Israel is facing similar revelations as the son of Ariel Sharon was sentenced to nine months of prison time for illegal fund-raising for his father during a 1999 campaign in which he raised more than $1.3 million. His father faced no charges. Since some regard freedom of expression as the epitome of all indicators of a free civilized society, and no one seems to be immune from the pen of political cartoonists, I wonder if there will be any lampooning of Omri Sharon? Or perhaps the fact that his father is facing death places an automatic moratorium on such caustic behavior? It would stand to reason such respect is implied, yet I cannot help but recall that the path of free expression in the media of so-called civilized countries is littered with racist, sacrilegious, and disrespectful lambasting of virtually anyone in the public eye … and even those who died in the 7th century. Will Sharon face the same fate as Abramoff? Another story that may have gone unnoticed, while we were busy laughing at every "duck" joke known to man, is the victory of Ibrahim al-Jafaari, who won a parliamentary election among the Shiite majority by a single vote (64-63) to become Iraq's first full-term (4 years) Prime Minister and outright leader since Saddam Hussein was removed from power by the United States. What's truly funny about this story (or perhaps not so much) is that prior to Jafaari racing to Iraq and being artificially elevated to power by the U.S. in 2003, he had not lived in Iraq for more than 20 years! But he has made a name for himself in places like London and New York. Now, his big task will be keeping the "peace" while he divides Iraq's lucrative oil fields among "foreign investors" (code term for British and American oil companies). Without skipping a beat Jafaari has already begun the hard work of ensuring American businessmen and investors are provided pieces of the ill-gotten booty of the nation to which he recently moved. I believe it may be a record for the fastest time anyone has ever moved to a country and become its leader. Late last year (November), he was the keynote speaker in the United States at a conference sponsored by the U.S. Dept. of Commerce. That conference, along with several others (including one coming up in Los Angeles on Feb. 17), was designed to pair American businessmen with Iraqi contracts to provide U.S. companies a decided advantage in the heavy competition to rebuild Iraq. In a related story about Iraq's volatile oil market, which fell to production lows of 1.1 million barrels a day in December (lowest since the days leading up to the invasion in 2003), the booted Oil Minister Ibrahim Bahr al-Uloum, who was sent packing on a mandatory vacation at the end of last year by Jafaari (and replaced by CIA operative Ahmad Chalabi) returned in mid-January. Apparently, the loud raucous made by Uloum when the fuel prices in Iraq were artificially inflated (according to an agreement with the International Monetary Fund) was all just a joke. And even though he submitted a letter of resignation during his vacation, that may very well have been just a funny prank. But by the end of January, Uloum was doing some more wise-cracking as he once again tendered his resignation, this time citing inferences to in-fighting among the Shiite coalition and noting that he was placing his country first. The cryptic rationale for his in-and-out-and-in behavior has gone relatively unnoticed by the media in our country. But for those of us who really want a good laugh, the keystone-cop-like manner in which heads are bumping around in Iraq's Oil Ministry provides slick entertainment that is tough to beat. If you're in for more suspense mixed with humor, then you should take one step down the ladder of corruption, er … I mean power in Iraq to the largely symbolic post of president. Perched in that position you will find Jalal Talabani, a Kurd who somehow navigated the murky waters of political discord and American power to emerge as king, or president, or whatever label is befitting a man who finds himself in an equivalent position to the former Shah of Iran, whose largely symbolic post became all-powerful after the U.S. deposed the Iranian Prime Minister in 1953. I'm thinking Talabani will be the man who is laughing last when the smoke clears in Iraq. While the U.S. government does its best to manipulate every aspect of Iraq's governance to ensure American companies rule the roost, and Shiites battle Sunnis for political influence and power, the Kurds are slowly eeking out an autonomous region they plan to develop into the reincarnation of Kurdistan. Currently, 98 percent of Kurds in Iraq are in favor of an independent Kurdistan. The U.S. government is, however, hedging its bets on how this will all play out. Uloum may quit the Oil Ministry but his replacement is a point man for the CIA. In the Shiite coalition, Jafaari won by a single vote only because the infamous so-called terrorist leader Muqtada al-Sadr positioned major influence and votes behind him. Politics has certainly made for strange bedfellows in this move to grab hold of power in Iraq. Meanwhile, president Talabani is a long-time ally of our CIA, as are the Kurds and their leader in the autonomous Kurdish region, Mamoud al-Barzani. Barzani and Talabani have both fought on the same side against Saddam Hussein … and against each other as well. The CIA has supported both men and their organizations. When the Kurds make their move to create Kurdistan, rest assured the oil-rich region of Kirkuk will be a part of that move. If you're looking for good entertainment, toss your television sets, turn on your computer and keep a sharp eye on the Middle East, where every major power in the world is concentrated. There's plenty of soap-opera-like drama and suspense for everyone. Explosions, action-packed gun battles, undercover operations, enormous wealth, power struggles, and political intrigue are all part of the rapid twists and turns that make it a fascinating place to watch. And when things calm down a bit, don't worry, Iran's president is bound to offer us a few laughs. And if he doesn't perform on cue, those pesky Danish sure know how to poke fun while stirring the pot. With all the stuff going on in just this one region of the world, I don't get all the hubbub about Cheney shooting his lawyer. After the attorney and duck jokes play themselves out, what's left? I wonder if I had a television perhaps I might be more in tune with the Cheney chuckles. I don't know. But for my entertainment value, the Middle East is where its at. To respond to this column send email to [email protected] . Only those responses containing the writer's name, city and phone number (for verification purposes only) will appear on our site. Mike Green is an award-winning columnist and author of, " The WHOLE truth about the U.S. War on Terror: answers to every question you never knew to ask ." ( www.thetruthaboutterror.com ) From the RIGHT Side is a web-only column published by the Daily Tidings. Letters to the Editor and Guest Forums should be e-mailed in text-only format to [email protected]. 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