Document text
- Subscribe - Contact Us - Rate Card - Place an Ad Valley&State Backpage O&E Sports Archives Classifieds Faith&Beliefs Obituaries Revels October 1, 2004 Downtown Our secret bully Andrew Scot Bolsinger A new children's book was the topic of discussion in schools last week as the author, a self-described "Mommy on a mission," visited to discuss the book's topic: school bullies. I live with a bully. Six-year-old Montana loves her mommy's makeup, but loves punching me with Karate punches even more. She's rail thin, with light blonde hair, a flirtatious smile. She also talks louder than old man suffering hearing loss and often breaks into a huge boisterous laugh that rattles the chandeliers. She may look like a girlie-girl, but she's really a gangster. Sometimes she confuses me with hired help. Montana seemed like the perfect lab rat to try out this book on, once I got her settled down enough to let me read "My Secret Bully" to her. Mom and I huddle around Montana, happy with our plan to use the story to help Montana learn a little about relationships. Montana had other plans, as we embarked on a reality-TV plot that would rival The Apprentice. After the book "Montana, has there ever been a time when you were a bully to someone?" I ask. "No." Never. Not once. A perfect angel, who incidentally has no problem pointing the finger and naming names of just who are the bullies in her class. She breaks into a story like a witness at a trial, explaining how she gives away her lunch (glad to know we are feeding the entire first-grade class). "I don't really like Cheetos, anyway, um, I ate some of them and then I gave the rest of the bag to [let's call him Tommy to protect our sources]," Montana says. "And then [we'll just call this one 'the bully'] said 'Hey, that's not fair. Give me some. "And I said, 'hey, I gave you a Gogurt' - I didn't like that kind of flavor - so I said, 'I gave you a Gogurt and that's all you get.' "And he's like, 'Hey. That's not fair.' "And I said, "[Bully], stop, you're not being the bestest friend I ever had.'" Seeing the point of the book lost in the twisted tale, Mom breaks in for an object lesson. "When I was in school ..." Montana cuts her off in mid-sentence: "OK, I'll tell you about something that happened a long time ago," she interrupts. "Back in kindergarten ..." And so the conversation goes. I am not sure how much we are teaching her, but the book clearly has sparked conversation about life in the first grade. Montana says bullies should be punished, and apparently ruining playtime is about the worst thing that can happen. "Have you ever done anything that caused you to lose recess," I asked. "Yeah, well anyways, the next thing I have to say is that if they first bully me, I would just walk away." Perfect spin. It is the political season afterall. The perfect little peacemaker. The surprising twist in this little tale is that book, or perhaps just our interest in Montana's world, sparks a string of dinnertime tales of life as a first-grader. The next night, I come into the conversation mid-story. "Tell us," Mom says, "about these crushes." "Well," Montana says, settling into her new cherished role as wise sage, "Skyellis and Skymiller have crushes on me and my friend ..." "Who?" I ask. "Are there two boys named Sky?" "No, one is named Skyellis and the other is Skymiller ..." She gives me that look that says I better keep up while she gives us the juicy details of these latest events. I am still pretty unclear on these names, but that train has left the station. Mom shrugs. That could be their names. "It's Ashland," she says. Montana hasn't missed a beat: "... then they told my friend who told me that they have a crush on us." It's like watching Joe Millionaire as the cast of characters are set. Some even get voted off the island, we learn. "What about that cute girl from the playground," Mom asks. "Do you play with her?" "No, she doesn't like me." "Why?" Montana tells us how she was really mean to this girl. Mom's eyes flash, which Montana senses. "Just kidding!" she says with a huge laugh. "I'm just messin' with ya. But I think I got her really mad on the second day of school." "Well what did you do on the second day of school," Mom asks. "I don't know," she says and the story moves to the ethics of the monkey bars and what's fair on the playground, and what's not. First-grade reality TV is an interesting place, but we are not sure of Montana's role in all of this. As I mentioned, we know her bully tendencies to be pretty strong. Our answer comes the next day. The school calls to tell us that Montana is getting an award at an assembly. Our little secret bully won the Friendship Award. Andrew Scot Bolsinger is the Daily Tidings editor and author of a novel, "If Pennies Could Talk." Contact him at [email protected]. DailyTidings.com Home Page Valley&State | Backpage | O&E | Sports | Archives | Weather | Classifieds Columnists | Faith&Beliefs | Obituaries | Revels | Subscribe | Contact Us Copyright 2004 Ashland Daily Tidings and Ottaway Newspapers All Rights Reserved Click Here Site Search: .:Advertisements:. RESOURCES - Mail Tribune News - ODOT Road Cams