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- Subscribe - Contact Us - Rate Card - Place an Ad Valley&State Backpage O&E Sports Archives Classifieds Faith&Beliefs Obituaries Revels May 14, 2004 Grandma knows best By John Darling Tidings Correspondent The grandmothers are coming ... and they're not happy. The Rev. Ernestine Lee (right) speaks on social issues as fellow wisdom council participant Mary Mayin looks on. Denise Baratta | Ashland Daily Tidings OK, they're happy as people, but these grandmothers - the ones holding the Grandmother Council Wisdom Conference here nest week - are not happy with a lot of what's going on in society, mainly around our mucking up the environment, degrading education, disintegrating the extended family, isolating the elderly and generally obsessing about money as if it were the meaning of life. At the second annual Wisdom Conference, 24 grandmothers will get five minutes each to lay out their vision for the country and world, in the fashion of the Native American saying, "When the grandmothers speak, the earth shall be healed," said participant Colleen Graham, 76. "Grandmothers can see the changes and appreciate the loss in the air quality, the availability of nature, the water purity and the world we are leaving to our children," said Graham, who grew up in the Rogue Valley. "We can speak about it with passion." At their conference May 22 and 23, at the Stevenson Union at Southern Oregon University, the grandmothers will "share their collective wisdom with the community" in panels and workshops on family, community, peace, justice, healing, wellness, environment, spirituality, feminism across the generations and grandparents raising grandchildren. The event is a multicultural and intergenerational gathering, open to the entire community. It's $60 for one day or $110 for both days, with registration at www.livingearthcircle.org or 858-4376. The grandmothers stressed that elders, who carry the continuity and wisdom of the ages are "not given the honor they deserve and are forgotten by society" - a situation to be countered by grandmothers "on fire with deep feeling, compassion and speaking from the heart," in the words of Mary Nougier, 58. "The grandmother's voice is not heard in our society," said Nougier. "We mostly get the very vocal masculine, dominator, warrior model. But age and grace do foster win-win outcomes and love is a far greater, stronger influence in the world than we have ever imagined." Southern Oregon University Professor Kamud Gokani, 61, a teacher of vegetarian cooking, said society is starving for the "main key of life" - an experience of loving, extended, multi-generational family such as she knew in her native India, where everyone learns the sharing and strength needed to lead a good life. "This is the only culture in the world," said Cassandra Christianti, 68, "that does not support and live with its elders - and if your (younger) family does not choose to have you, you can just go begging." Grandmother Ernestine Lee, 63, an author and Medford Unity Church minister, said her message will be that how we take care of the Earth and its life will be how we ourselves are maintained by them. "We're here to spread the understanding that, far from being hampered by age, our years are what give ourselves and others hope. I graduated from seminary at age 53 and have taught that self-love goes hand-in-hand with the love of others." Said Virginia Farr, 83, "My age has been nothing but a blessing to me, as it's brought the accumulation of wisdom and experience around family, homemaking and a passion for communication and understanding that came from really finding out who I was through periods of crisis." While they love being grandmothers, the women, all Rogue Valley residents, decried the trend of parents abandoning their children for large blocks of time, forcing grandmothers into parenting roles. "It's so unfair for parents to be that irresponsible, when grandmothers should be enjoying the freedom and creativity of older years," said Christianti, who called herself a "CIC" - chick-in-charge, meaning a powerful female with full responsibility for her own choices and opportunities. Grandmothers took the educational system to task for its lack of creativity - "kids still seated in rows, not moving," said Lee - its inability to compete against video game obsession and she now near-impossible cost of college, "strapping you with huge debt before you even start life," as Gokani phrased it. The spirituality sector of the conference has drawn the most intense interest, judging by signups, with elders "clamoring for more," said Chritianti, and wanting deepened contact with "the source" via meditation and prayer in community. From a community of spirit, said Graham, a new generation of boys are being trained less for war and more to be family members who care for their children in gentle and loving ways. DailyTidings.com Home Page Valley&State | Backpage | O&E | Sports | Archives | Weather | Classifieds Columnists | Faith&Beliefs | Obituaries | Revels | Subscribe | Contact Us Copyright 2004 Ashland Daily Tidings and Ottaway Newspapers All Rights Reserved Click Here Site Search: .:Advertisements:. RESOURCES - Mail Tribune News - ODOT Road Cams