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--> --> Oct. 5: Accept a loss, but learn from it By Rev. Scott Dalgarno Ten years ago Thomas Moore wrote a landmark book, Care of the Soul. Moore, a therapist, touched a cord when he said that too often people go to doctors and therapists looking for "cures." Many, experiencing a feeling of malaise about their lives, rush to professionals seeking "treatment, " but fail to pay attention to what their hearts, in distress, are trying to tell them. Moore argues that health professionals should be more interested in dispensing care instead of cure. He reminds us of the great medieval tradition of care; care for the soul. What a refreshing study. Now, 10 years along, Moore has written a follow-up book, The Soul's Religion. Yes, he's written other books since then, but this is the first real sequel. It's about cultivating a profoundly spiritual life. I find so much integrity in the 10 years between those books. The best ideas come slowly; they are gestated. Moore resisted the call of publishers to give them a sequel when the market was primed. In the new book he urges us to cultivate "spiritual emptiness." "Spiritual emptiness is not only an empty mind but also an empty self," he says. "We have to get ourselves out of the way: our explanations, our goals, our habits, and our anxieties. We often try to avoid disaster and try to fill life with order and meaning, but just as often life unravels all our careful preparations. At that moment we can complain, but I have found it is best to go with the loss and be educated by it. The willingness to stand in our ignorance gives us character and keeps us honest." He goes on to tell the following story. Decades ago, the university where he had taught for seven years, denied him tenure. "You've lost your zest for teaching," said his department head. "And you don't write in proper academic style." Rather than appeal the decision Moore decided to accept it as a sign to move on. There followed several years of wandering in the wilderness of self-doubt. "Today people say to me, 'You must be happy that they made such a mistake, and they must be sorry for it now.' The truth is, they were right, and I still feel the sense of failure. It doesn't seem right to claim victory or to distance myself from the pain. Celebrating victory can be a way defending against the important and necessary loss. Deep emptiness lies in the vacant feeling you have when complaints and words of self-defense fall away." When something we value is required of us and we sustain a loss how do we react? If you are like me you often say. "There's been some mistake. I can't get along in life without . . ." you fill in the blank. Too often, I fear, we jump in the way and equivocate. Moore urges us to get out of the way; to empty ourselves. That rings true for me. Moore continues: "At moments when I feel forced to surrender to events and the feelings stirring inside me, I try not to complain but rather understand that my willfulness and egotism are being emptied. The process, so difficult to appreciate and so painful to endure, is profoundly religious." This business of self-emptying is also key to the creative process, as I understand it. As a preacher, I am always tuned to gather material for sermons. I used to busy myself with filing stories, trying to control where best to use them. I'd say, "Oh, that's so good, I should save it for Easter." Then I realized that something I find to be wonderful today can grow cold in a matter of weeks. Now I tend to trust that what excites me today should probably be used today, and what I need for tomorrow will inevitably show up tomorrow when required. I do best when I get out of my own way and use what I have at hand. I need not be afraid to empty myself. The fine poet, Donald Hall, has said the same thing about writing poems. "You must bring everything to a poem that you can possibly bring; never hold anything back; spend everything at once - or you will never write a poem. Only when you empty the well will the water return to the well." I find this too be true with just about everything worth doing, everything. As with so much in life, it's a matter of having faith. Scott Dalgarno writes an occasional column for the Daily Tidings. He is pastor of Ashland's First Presbyterian Church. He can be reached at [email protected] . Email your... Technical questions & comments to: WebMaster Daily Tidings editorial comments & questions to: Editor Visit our other Oregon Newspapers... | Albany Democrat-Herald | Ashland Daily Tidings | Corvallis Gazette-Times | | Lebanon Express | Newport News-Times | Springfield News | Cottage Grove Sentinel | Ashland Daily Tidings 1661 Siskiyou Blvd. Ashland, OR 97520 Telephone 541-482-3456 © Copyright 2001 Lee Northwest Publishing